Noblekign
September 24th, 2011, 04:15 PM
Hi everyone, my names Kyle, I'm a 15 year old boy from Toronto, Ontario. This is my story.
For as long as I can remember, I've always had the ability to lead, to find the right answer, and direct everyone towards it. My whole life I've had what tons of kids would ask for, the popularity, the girls, I've always been insanely social, I'm not the funniest guy, but I seemed to always to know what to say. I always learned to do stuff quicker and better then most people, top of the track team, good grades. As I got older, school started to mean less and less to me, which is exactly what shouldn't be happening. I remember in grade 3, I had this horrible head ache, and I asked my teacher if I could go lay down or something, and she told me to go to the office, call my mom, and go home. Ever since then, I've used the ability of lying to my greater advantage. I've grown up my whole life with my Mom, parents divorced. I love my mom, I know she cares about me, but she wasn't what I needed at the time to get set on track, I had no father to enforce. All I had to do was say I had a head ache in the morning and no school for Kyle, it was that easy. By grade 8 I was never doing homework, whenever I my mom asked I simply responded that it was done, and I wasn't bothered for the rest of the night. Now obviously if something isn't dealt with it's just going to get worse and worse.
Highschool came, freshman year, first month of school I had already lost the will to go, I wanted to drop out already, I had missed 75% of the first semester, how couldn't I have failed the two classes I failed. Marijuana was then introduced into my life, within a month, I was an every day pot smoker that didn't do his homework, hardly attended class, and was starting to look like a huge fuck up.
By the end of grade nine, which was last June.. My moms side of the family had lost faith in me, I was looked at like a joke by them... Teased at family dinners, "Well I don't think Kyle has to worry about what he's doing when he's older" All around me, people told me what I was doing was wrong, and on the inside I knew it was, but I just couldn't stop. At this point, everyone including me, blamed the only thing there was to blame Marijuana, which now I don't think is the case at all, I think people who are going to sit around and be lazy... are going to sit around and be lazy anyways... If you want to do something, if you want to get something done... Mary Jane makes no difference. But it did change my Social Life, not by my personality, but by what others thought of me, and the fact that people who didn't smoke the drug, were no where near as entertaining to me. I spent all summer sitting around smoking pot.. every day knowing I need to change, I can be so much better, I'm sick of being a disappointment. I have so much Potential, and I'm wasting it! So now it's the end of September, I have a mom who cares when she wants to.. Gets drunk every night, has her random outrages on me... I remember sitting in the passenger seat waiting for her to come drive me to hockey, I saw her Water bottle there and I took a sip, it was almost pure vodka... Disgusting! the other night her and friend picked me up from Hockey plastered out of their minds.. I didn't say a word the whole car ride home. Then theres my Dad, the successful one that I probably should have been with since day one. He's a multimillionaire man, lives a really happy life, he's given me the oppertunity to go live with him, but I refused.. Sometimes I think it would be the key to saving me.. that life would be exactly what I've never had...
Family dinners, I would actually be able to spend time with them.. when I'm at his place, he doesn't even need to ask me to do my homework or chores, I get them done.. I don't know why that is, when I'm at my momes house, I have no desire to do much at all. I know moving with him would probably be the best decision I could ever make.. but it's so hard to leave behind everything I have...
which now I've noticed.. isn't much of anything anymore
I'm not a leader at all anymore... Nobody looks up to me, who the hell would want to look up to someone who's fucked up as bad as I am? all I do on my weekends is had some buds over and smoke pot all night, I can't remember the last time I did something new or exciting... I just want Change SO BAD, and I don't know where to start.. I wanna start using everything god gave me. I just need to know where to start. I also find I'm just no where near as Social anymore, I'm usually grumpy, or just don't feel like talking.. You'll have the random day where I'm the funnest person around. Thank you
For as long as I can remember, I've always had the ability to lead, to find the right answer, and direct everyone towards it. My whole life I've had what tons of kids would ask for, the popularity, the girls, I've always been insanely social, I'm not the funniest guy, but I seemed to always to know what to say. I always learned to do stuff quicker and better then most people, top of the track team, good grades. As I got older, school started to mean less and less to me, which is exactly what shouldn't be happening. I remember in grade 3, I had this horrible head ache, and I asked my teacher if I could go lay down or something, and she told me to go to the office, call my mom, and go home. Ever since then, I've used the ability of lying to my greater advantage. I've grown up my whole life with my Mom, parents divorced. I love my mom, I know she cares about me, but she wasn't what I needed at the time to get set on track, I had no father to enforce. All I had to do was say I had a head ache in the morning and no school for Kyle, it was that easy. By grade 8 I was never doing homework, whenever I my mom asked I simply responded that it was done, and I wasn't bothered for the rest of the night. Now obviously if something isn't dealt with it's just going to get worse and worse.
Highschool came, freshman year, first month of school I had already lost the will to go, I wanted to drop out already, I had missed 75% of the first semester, how couldn't I have failed the two classes I failed. Marijuana was then introduced into my life, within a month, I was an every day pot smoker that didn't do his homework, hardly attended class, and was starting to look like a huge fuck up.
By the end of grade nine, which was last June.. My moms side of the family had lost faith in me, I was looked at like a joke by them... Teased at family dinners, "Well I don't think Kyle has to worry about what he's doing when he's older" All around me, people told me what I was doing was wrong, and on the inside I knew it was, but I just couldn't stop. At this point, everyone including me, blamed the only thing there was to blame Marijuana, which now I don't think is the case at all, I think people who are going to sit around and be lazy... are going to sit around and be lazy anyways... If you want to do something, if you want to get something done... Mary Jane makes no difference. But it did change my Social Life, not by my personality, but by what others thought of me, and the fact that people who didn't smoke the drug, were no where near as entertaining to me. I spent all summer sitting around smoking pot.. every day knowing I need to change, I can be so much better, I'm sick of being a disappointment. I have so much Potential, and I'm wasting it! So now it's the end of September, I have a mom who cares when she wants to.. Gets drunk every night, has her random outrages on me... I remember sitting in the passenger seat waiting for her to come drive me to hockey, I saw her Water bottle there and I took a sip, it was almost pure vodka... Disgusting! the other night her and friend picked me up from Hockey plastered out of their minds.. I didn't say a word the whole car ride home. Then theres my Dad, the successful one that I probably should have been with since day one. He's a multimillionaire man, lives a really happy life, he's given me the oppertunity to go live with him, but I refused.. Sometimes I think it would be the key to saving me.. that life would be exactly what I've never had...
Family dinners, I would actually be able to spend time with them.. when I'm at his place, he doesn't even need to ask me to do my homework or chores, I get them done.. I don't know why that is, when I'm at my momes house, I have no desire to do much at all. I know moving with him would probably be the best decision I could ever make.. but it's so hard to leave behind everything I have...
which now I've noticed.. isn't much of anything anymore
I'm not a leader at all anymore... Nobody looks up to me, who the hell would want to look up to someone who's fucked up as bad as I am? all I do on my weekends is had some buds over and smoke pot all night, I can't remember the last time I did something new or exciting... I just want Change SO BAD, and I don't know where to start.. I wanna start using everything god gave me. I just need to know where to start. I also find I'm just no where near as Social anymore, I'm usually grumpy, or just don't feel like talking.. You'll have the random day where I'm the funnest person around. Thank you