Bath
September 24th, 2011, 11:22 AM
cutting open my skin, releasing the burden
that makes me shake and cry
and if i still drown in anxiety, at least i am bleeding
and at least i can see the red
feel the warmth on my cold skin
on the cold tile
and at least my lungs start to work properly
sometimes i don’t know what to do
i am worthless/strong/afraid
i am exhausted
last calm tears escape
the guilt is erased with water
i crawl into bed and trace the fresh cuts
with my fingers.
i don’t even think about life or death or him or her
my eyes close and my blood is gone and the hurt simmers
sometimes i just sit there
in that corner that my sins were made,
and just sit and sit and remember
i remember everything that has happened,
how i felt and why
a smile finds its away around my lips
because i am insane, you see.
because i don’t know what to do
and i do it again and it hurts and i scream
and i don’t mind sometimes.
that makes me shake and cry
and if i still drown in anxiety, at least i am bleeding
and at least i can see the red
feel the warmth on my cold skin
on the cold tile
and at least my lungs start to work properly
sometimes i don’t know what to do
i am worthless/strong/afraid
i am exhausted
last calm tears escape
the guilt is erased with water
i crawl into bed and trace the fresh cuts
with my fingers.
i don’t even think about life or death or him or her
my eyes close and my blood is gone and the hurt simmers
sometimes i just sit there
in that corner that my sins were made,
and just sit and sit and remember
i remember everything that has happened,
how i felt and why
a smile finds its away around my lips
because i am insane, you see.
because i don’t know what to do
and i do it again and it hurts and i scream
and i don’t mind sometimes.