I'm happy about it.

[LoveMe_HateMe]

My 'instrument' was getting really crappy, so I went and got a new one... And I don't feel guilty about it... Not one bit.. In fact, it's made me happy...

I don't know. I'm a little more messed up than normally. Then again I have been awake for 17 hours now.

I'm happy yet still have urges... Which I know I'll be giving into later, when I eventually go to bed... or if I have a shower... I don't know.

I don't even know what I'm doing anymore...

[ShatteredGlass]

You're deep into it. When you're lies become your reality. You need help. Detach yourself from your emotions and look at your situation objectively then act on facts not feeling. Misguided feelings is what led you here. But you'll have to get out some time and it's only gonna happen one of two ways, in control or out of it. But you gotta make that decision and then work for it.

[LoveMe_HateMe]

To be honest I'm done working for things. Nothing ever pays off. I don't care. I give in. I really don't care what happens. I've been on the edge too long. I think I'm about to fall off it and just keep falling.