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Everglow
April 5th, 2007, 04:29 PM
When softly sleeping nighttime rises
And the world around us slumbers
He and I come out of hiding
One, two, three the lights of my humble abode retire
A welcomed darkness envelops the ashamed me

When harshly scathing daytime wakens
And the bliss between us succumbs
He and I flee, retreating
Four, five, six the silent tap of his signal finds me
His desired presence soothes my nervous waiting

When ardent words leave his faultless lips
And emotion within us unites
He and I commence, eloping
Seven, eight, nine the passionate love we share releases us
This intimate affection embodies our forbidden love

When surreptitious seduction slowly settles
And the love we have strengthens
He and I lie, embracing
Ten; both 16, we’re no longer innocent
Carnal ecstasy ends his sweet time visit

schrei jess
April 7th, 2007, 11:01 AM
Holy crap, that's amazing.

I LOVE IT! Please do write more :)

Zazu
April 7th, 2007, 07:37 PM
I really like the whole 'couting' thing going on in it, and very well written. Good job!

Maverick
April 7th, 2007, 08:20 PM
I thought it was great. Nice work!

Everglow
April 8th, 2007, 02:41 PM
Thanks :)...I'll totally write more!!

Bobby
April 13th, 2007, 01:46 PM
I like this, it has good rhythem. Nice :)

Ironic Infidel In England
April 13th, 2007, 02:32 PM
Seriously, that ROCKS!

ForeverBlue
April 13th, 2007, 05:51 PM
beautiful. I loved it.