My GF

[johnjohnjohn]

Right, my girlfriend has been cutting for ages, she dropped out of school because she panics around people and is a really shy person.

Anyway, she has been seeing a psyciatrist for ages now, but she still has the urge.

She promised me when I started dating her she would stop, she has and still has been going clean, everytime she tells me she has the urge i try to take her mind of it or tel her how much it hurts me everytime she does it.

Shes still clean from it, but shes still depressed all the time, with the urges to do it, they're getting worse, not better.

I'm feeling like I need to just give up, she makes me feel like it :/ but what would I have achieved....Please, someone help me how can I stop her ?

Just to add, I've just tried talking to her about the positive stuff of her not cutting, like the scars fading and how good her arms look, it's not going to last forever giving her complements but its working for now, if you have anything else good about NOT cutting then please let me know, still need all the help though!xx

---In the future, if you want to "add", click the edit button and DON'T double post!~Lexi---

[SinisterMystery]

Well for one I'm happy that you care so much about her. Trust me, she will really appreciate it.
It's very hard to stop and the urges will never completely go away. I don't know what her hobbies are or anything but distractions really help. Get her to do things. Try something that you can do together.

[Kaius]

Right, im gonna be honest. Your girlfriend sounds an awful lot like mine, and if thats the case 'giving up' or leaving her will not help, it will only make the problem 10x worse. She obviously trusts you enough to let you in close to her which helps a lot when it comes to recovering. Its not something that will take a few days or a month and then will never be seen again, its going to take a long time for her to recover and yes there are going to be fall backs where she just relapse and self harms, but that doesn't mean shes failed.

Stopping completely like she has takes a lot of strength and a lot of people can't even manage that, all they can do is cut it down. When you do stop self harming there are a lot of side effects including increased depression because she has no outlet for the things shes building up inside her, so distracting her will not always help and they're only a temporary solution. Honestly the best you can do is be there for her, don't leave because its hard. This is something that will test and eventually make your relationship stronger. If she needs to talk about whats bothering her, let her. Talking about it doesn't mean she'll relapse and in a lot of cases it helps when she can talk to someone on her level because they care, not because its their job. Be that person, because it'll help her more than you know.

I hope this helps, if you need to talk at all feel free to contact me I'd be happy to help

[CuriousO_oDude]

Giving up will never help, so try and hang on:)

I think its great what you are doing right now anyway, so, yeah..

Getting a hobby will help, and like Sinister Mystery said, it'll be great if you can do it together..

Are you joining her for therapy? Try it, it might help her having a positive presence nearby:)

Good luck bud

[Aubrie]

Your girlfriend reminds me a lot of myself, actually. I relied on my bf at the time to help me through it. It's extremely difficult to just stop. I think most people go through a really depressed period before they stop, simply because it's taking away the way how they cope. It's a trapped feeling. I know I missed it - it's a psychological dependence/addiction. In some ways it's physiological, too. It takes a huge amount of willpower and strength. It's not easily done. The urges won't go away for a while. I haven't cut for almost two years, and I still have urges sometimes. But I can promise you that it gets better. Sometimes things just have to get worse before they get better.

I hope I offered a bit of insight. If you or your girlfriend have any questions/comments, feel free to PM/comment me :0