On the point of relapsing

[HAWAiiAN 808]

Fuck my life already. I been sober for about 5 weeks now and everything seemed to be going good. But today, i went to the beach with some friends and a few other people. After a while, someone started passing around a pipe and a few people were taking hits. When the pipe came to me, i got kinda pissed off because my friend who was handing me the pipe knew i was trying to quit smoking, but he keep on insisting that i should smoke. After about 3 minutes of people telling me and 2 other people who dont want to smoke to take a hit. The out of nowhere, one of the new kids who came with us just said "take a hit already and quite acting like a bitch". After i realized he was directly talking to me, i stood up and walked right toward him. 2 of my friends stood up at the same time and tried to get in between me and this kid because they both knew if no one was gonna block this kid from me, i would've beat this kid until someone pulled me off. After about 20 seconds of this kid yelling at me to punch him, i kept on saying "yeah bitch, i would hit you if no one was blocking me". He kept on running his mouth, getting into his stupid ass stance like he would actually fight me, and pumping his chest like he was ready. Then after a few tense moments of everyone trying to figure out what was going on, i sat back down in my chair and continued eating my food. Then out of no where, this little kid has the audacity to throw sand in my plate and act like it wasnt him. After that happened, i waited until everyone was sitting down, and then i quickly stood up and rushed the kid, knocking him back out of his seat. After a few punches were exchanged, my friends pulled me off and everyone told the kid and his 2 friends to leave because no one wanted them here in the first place. I looked at my friend Jon and said "who the fuck invited these kids?" he looked at me and said "oh, someone just invited him cuz he was bringing the weed." After i heard that, i got up and told everyone that they're all fucked up and i was gonna go because even though they knew i was trying to stay sober, they still invited me to the beach knowing that drugs were going to be passed around.

Now, here i am at home, pissed off and trying to figure out what kept me happy throughout those 3 years i was smoking weed. And the only thing i can remember that kept me happy was smoking weed and just feeling my whole body and mind relax. Within the past 1 hour, i have been constantly trying to find contacts still left in my phone, seeing who i could pick up from. But i always try to stop my self and just try to think that my life will become better sooner or later, without drugs in my life. Sorry for the long rant, i just needed to post what i felt.

[Peace God]

Remember why you quit.
Remember what kept you going after you did.
And remember that you've never even needed it to feel happy.

You've made it pretty far already, and you seem like you're serious about this, relapsing will only make things harder.

[aperson444]

Tell your self what you would do instead of getting high. Really I don't see any true point in life, so I personally would not see any good reason to quit other than legal issues. Plus it helps me more than it hurts me. But you quit for a reason -- remember why. And for future reference, it's probably a good idea to just walk off.

[staying_alive]

You can quit weed. It's not that hard, trust me. You have to find other uses of your time.

Think about how utterly boring being high is. Think about how hungry you'll be if you're high, and how you'll have to go find a ton of food to eat. That was the worst part of being high for me - finding the food. Eating was great, but it was a pain to make myself a meal every time I smoked. Furthermore, I finally realized that smoking is incredibly boring. I'm not social when I'm high, I just sit there quiet and entrenched in my thoughts. Not sure about your experiences, but trust me, there's a lot more to life than what being high does for you.

You can do this. Don't be offended that your friends invited you - it's not their job to watch out for your interests. You should've asked if they'd be smoking, and upon realizing that they were, found other plans. Or just said no when the pipe is going around and left it at that.

I know it's difficult - I was a few months sober and then I gave it all up and smoked the other night. But that experience showed me, for the last time, how much smoking sucks. I just flat out didn't enjoy it. My post history shows my smoking phase in all its glory - from the first time I smoked to the peak and all the way back down.

Good luck.

[HAWAiiAN 808]

Tell your self what you would do instead of getting high. Really I don't see any true point in life, so I personally would not see any good reason to quit other than legal issues. Plus it helps me more than it hurts me. But you quit for a reason -- remember why. And for future reference, it's probably a good idea to just walk off.

Thanks for the input. I have been doing a lot of extra-curricular stuff so i take my mind off of using, but after using for 3 years, these past few weeks have been absolute hell. And i talked to some people in chat last night, so some people understand my anger issues and how walking away would've been almost impossible for me to do.

Remember why you quit.
Remember what kept you going after you did.
And remember that you've never even needed it to feel happy.

You've made it pretty far already, and you seem like you're serious about this, relapsing will only make things harder.

Thanks man. I've been thinking about why i quit and everything else. And yeah, i'm taking this really serious, but knowing how relaxed i was when i was high just makes staying sober that much harder.

You can quit weed. It's not that hard, trust me. You have to find other uses of your time.

Think about how utterly boring being high is. Think about how hungry you'll be if you're high, and how you'll have to go find a ton of food to eat. That was the worst part of being high for me - finding the food. Eating was great, but it was a pain to make myself a meal every time I smoked. Furthermore, I finally realized that smoking is incredibly boring. I'm not social when I'm high, I just sit there quiet and entrenched in my thoughts. Not sure about your experiences, but trust me, there's a lot more to life than what being high does for you.

You can do this. Don't be offended that your friends invited you - it's not their job to watch out for your interests. You should've asked if they'd be smoking, and upon realizing that they were, found other plans. Or just said no when the pipe is going around and left it at that.

I know it's difficult - I was a few months sober and then I gave it all up and smoked the other night. But that experience showed me, for the last time, how much smoking sucks. I just flat out didn't enjoy it. My post history shows my smoking phase in all its glory - from the first time I smoked to the peak and all the way back down.

Good luck.

Thanks for the awesome post man. I know quiting isnt that hard, but it feels like a battle since i was basically addicted for 3 years. Out of those 3 years, i probably only went a total of 5 months without smoking. But after that, i was a regular wake-n-bake stoner. And yeah, i can totally agree with the munchies and how bad it feels to feel hungry, but when i was high, i felt even more social than i could ever imagine. And i wasnt offended that my friends invited me to the beach when they knew people would be smoking, but before i left my house, i clearly asked them if anyone was going to be doing drugs, and all of them said nobody is going to smoke. Just the fact that they had to lie to me to get me to come to the beach and knowing i was trying to get better, just pissed me off with them.

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[Sordid Saint]

Fuck that kid man, he sounds like a stuck up asshole. Even though I am pretty much addicted to the sacred plant, I have never told someone to smoke if they didn't want to. Even when I know that they smoke I won't tell them to keep smoking just in case they're at their limit. Hey, more for me anyway :D <<joke dont flame, bitches :D :D :D

You can quit weed. It's not that hard, trust me. You have to find other uses of your time.

Think about how utterly boring being high is. Think about how hungry you'll be if you're high, and how you'll have to go find a ton of food to eat. That was the worst part of being high for me - finding the food. Eating was great, but it was a pain to make myself a meal every time I smoked. Furthermore, I finally realized that smoking is incredibly boring. I'm not social when I'm high, I just sit there quiet and entrenched in my thoughts. Not sure about your experiences, but trust me, there's a lot more to life than what being high does for you.

You can do this. Don't be offended that your friends invited you - it's not their job to watch out for your interests. You should've asked if they'd be smoking, and upon realizing that they were, found other plans. Or just said no when the pipe is going around and left it at that.

I know it's difficult - I was a few months sober and then I gave it all up and smoked the other night. But that experience showed me, for the last time, how much smoking sucks. I just flat out didn't enjoy it. My post history shows my smoking phase in all its glory - from the first time I smoked to the peak and all the way back down.

Good luck.


Awwwe, those are all my favorite parts of being high!!

[HAWAiiAN 808]

Fuck that kid man, he sounds like a stuck up asshole. Even though I am pretty much addicted to the sacred plant, I have never told someone to smoke if they didn't want to. Even when I know that they smoke I won't tell them to keep smoking just in case they're at their limit. Hey, more for me anyway :D <<joke dont flame, bitches :D :D :D

haha, thats exactly what i mean. When i used to smoke, i would never tell anyone to smoke because if they wanted to smoke, they could let me know and i could pass them the bowl. But this kid was just some little 15year old kid who thought he was top-dog, and trying to act like he could fight in front of his 2 friends. But little did he know, almost everyone there, including the 5 girls with us, were either training in mma, boxing, judo, or karate, so trying to pick a fight with me was probably the worst decision he could have made, lol.