Rough time being bi.

[clr9823]

Well, this story starts at a party, but I'll just try and keep it as brief as possible. Basically, at a party with friends discussing the sexuality and romantic interests of this guy, a guy I happen to like. Suddenly, one of my friends who I've come out to just goes "Connor likes him." in front of everybody, which then I just bit the bullet with and was like "yeah, I do". TBH, the people there were pretty cool with it, but what got me was when one of them informed me everyone at school knows I'm gay (when I'm in fact bi, point of infuriation 1).

And suddenly I just felt... ashamed. I really don't know why, for I'm perfectly cool with being with guys and with telling my good friends - maybe just that people knew without my control?

So yeah, night progresses, and it turns out someone there has texted the guy about me. They're currently away right now so I've not heard a peep out of them, but we return to school on Tuesday and I'm just so worried about how he's going to react.

And then I just realised how, even though everybody's 'cool' with it, that me being labeled as gay absolutely sucks. I'm bi and prefer girls, yet because I also like guys I'm always gonna be 'gay', so no sexy romps or anything. Luckily I've only got 9 months left at our school, but I get the feeling a lot of my friends will be joining me at the same Uni so it may be hard to shake off the label.

Sorry for the length, but I guess what I'm trying to say is... I wish I was straight, or at least that I had just hidden it. But then I feel guilty about that because of all the crap shoved down our throats by school about being accepting and be whoever you feel you are inside. Am I the only one who regrets coming out? Oh, and sorry for the rant, it just felt good to get some of that off of my chest.

[Tristin.]

believe it or not, even though i never really had to come out, i did go through a stage where i wished i was straight. i realised, that it doesn't matter, because school and uni are such small parts in our life when you look at the big picture.

[Tenoramic]

That dude texted need to slap, it's none of his business to spread around. Stay strong be cool, which u prolly already is cool. :)

[clr9823]

That dude texted need to slap, it's none of his business to spread around. Stay strong be cool, which u prolly already is cool. :)

Well, to be honest I'm not hugely offended, considering I was thinking (in my drunken state) it'd be a good idea to text him this, but still pretty annoying. Right now feel a bit ill with worry over the thought of seeing him, but I know it won't be as bad as I worry it will.

And I know that things will improve somewhat, but I always know that it will just be easier if... hell, not even if I stopped having gay thoughts in my head, but if I just kept my mouth closed and didn't come out.