FuzzyLittleNightmare
September 18th, 2011, 05:13 AM
I was speaking to a woman last night who had recovered from anorexia and she said that one of the things that really helped her was she wrote a letter to ana. So, I wrote one too, and I thought it would be a good thing if some of you guys tried it too. I'm going to post mine and feel free to post yours too, but I would suggest trying it even if you don't want to post it.
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Dear Ana
I know that you love to make me think that you are my friend. That you will always be there for me when no one else is. You told me that no matter what happened in my life, you would make sure that I was ok and that I would live through it. But you lied to me Ana, didn't you?
When I was young and bullied and lonely, you found your way in. I was naive and eager for a friend. You told me to start skipping eating lunch, so that I wouldn't have to deal with sitting in the lunch hall. 'I wasn't hungry anyway' you would whisper. And I listened to you.
Yes, you were right, it did feel good...at first. You told me how clever I was, how brilliant I was for being able to do this and not have anyone find out. You helped me get over the hunger pains and made me think I was in control. But soon this wasn't enough for you. You were a demanding friend Ana and started pushing me to skip breakfast too. I was scared and stupid and I listened to you. You made me start lying to everyone I cared about, making me more secluded and dependant on you.
When I refused to skip dinner as well, because I was scared of people finidng out about you, you got angry and decided to introduce me to your sister Mia. She was just as sneaky and manipulative of you, planting thoughts in my mind that if I just waited until everyone was asleep, then I could just make myself sick and get rid of my dinner that way. Eventually she convinced me to try, but I was lucky in that I don't have a gag reflex. No matter how angry Mia got, how many things she got me to stick down my throat to try, it didn't work, so she gave up, although she still comes to try occassionally.
So you made me exercise more, burning off the few calories I had eaten that way. You said you were my friend Ana but you were killing me. And you knew just how to play the doctors. I had a high muscle mass from years of dance, so no matter how little I ate, how many calories I burned, how much my bones were sticking out, how obvious it was to my mum, I didn't have a low enough weight to worry the doctors, so you were able to keep your hold on me.
But I will get away from your grip on me Ana...I will find a way to make the doctors realise how much you are killing me and I will fight to be free. You don't have long left with me Ana, and you picked the wrong girl to mess with. Because one day I will make sure I free others from your control.
From, Anna
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Dear Ana
I know that you love to make me think that you are my friend. That you will always be there for me when no one else is. You told me that no matter what happened in my life, you would make sure that I was ok and that I would live through it. But you lied to me Ana, didn't you?
When I was young and bullied and lonely, you found your way in. I was naive and eager for a friend. You told me to start skipping eating lunch, so that I wouldn't have to deal with sitting in the lunch hall. 'I wasn't hungry anyway' you would whisper. And I listened to you.
Yes, you were right, it did feel good...at first. You told me how clever I was, how brilliant I was for being able to do this and not have anyone find out. You helped me get over the hunger pains and made me think I was in control. But soon this wasn't enough for you. You were a demanding friend Ana and started pushing me to skip breakfast too. I was scared and stupid and I listened to you. You made me start lying to everyone I cared about, making me more secluded and dependant on you.
When I refused to skip dinner as well, because I was scared of people finidng out about you, you got angry and decided to introduce me to your sister Mia. She was just as sneaky and manipulative of you, planting thoughts in my mind that if I just waited until everyone was asleep, then I could just make myself sick and get rid of my dinner that way. Eventually she convinced me to try, but I was lucky in that I don't have a gag reflex. No matter how angry Mia got, how many things she got me to stick down my throat to try, it didn't work, so she gave up, although she still comes to try occassionally.
So you made me exercise more, burning off the few calories I had eaten that way. You said you were my friend Ana but you were killing me. And you knew just how to play the doctors. I had a high muscle mass from years of dance, so no matter how little I ate, how many calories I burned, how much my bones were sticking out, how obvious it was to my mum, I didn't have a low enough weight to worry the doctors, so you were able to keep your hold on me.
But I will get away from your grip on me Ana...I will find a way to make the doctors realise how much you are killing me and I will fight to be free. You don't have long left with me Ana, and you picked the wrong girl to mess with. Because one day I will make sure I free others from your control.
From, Anna