I think this is my breaking point...

[AppealToReason]

I don't even know why. I just just thinking about selling some of my fish & doing this essay when I just broke down. Not broke down crying, but went from a neutral mood to a crazy, depressed mood. I've never cut like this before...usually I do 1 cut, make it stop bleeding, another cut, stop bleeding, ect ...but I just kept cutting in multiples of 5 tonight not caring about the blood...that's not like me...It's been a year of cutting and I haven't improved but rather got worse. I think I finally understand why others feel hopeless...this is my weak side and I can't stand it. I've done everything on my own, so why can't I beat this? Gah, I think this is me quitting...

[BOSSPENGUIN]

hey, its no good to quit. your suffering and thats why you do that. but what you should try to do is stop cutting. its not good for you try to find something different a hobby. always look on the bright side of things. heck i cant make you stop. this is just words. but words are needed to motivate. motivate yourself to never quit and to always keep going. and try to stop cutting just try bet i can do it :D

[BOSSPENGUIN]

srry meant to say you not "I" at the end

[AncientCatastrophe]

Never quit! You can do it...
How about being with friends or close relatives to keep your mind off maybe you just need happiness to stop hurting yourself.

[Amaryllis]

Michael, you don't deserve this. Not as in you don't deserve such a crappy life(you don't) but you don't deserve what you're doing to yourself. You feel like shit, yes. But that doesn't mean you did anything wrong, that it warrants self-inflicted pain. You're strong, hun. Don't tell me you just put up a face to pretend you are cause you're still alive. And that requires a lot of strength. So does posting a thread and admitting you need help.

I've been cutting since I was 10 or 11. It doesn't get better unless you really, really try to get better. Little steps. One at a time and you'll get there. You know... I was watching The Smurfs. I know, I know. But look... Can you imagine this cutting itself?

http://static.entertainmentwise.com/photos/Image/500katyperrysmurfette.gif

Really, you're like a smurf to me. Treat yourself as a smurf, you know? You're too cute to be cut. God, I'm talking crap now. Really though. You are. You're nice and blue and... Smurfy. I'm here for you. Pick yourself up, you can do this. You're worth recovery. You'll have an amazing life. Just let yourself. Pick up the pieces. Use super glue. Each time you crumble, that glue gets stronger. Until one day you'll heal and stick together. And always remember, you're a Smurf.

Love,
Faith and Trust

(I wish I was a smurf.)

[AppealToReason]

I dont even know whats wrong antmore....every little thing frustrates me...especially the fact that my internet wont work.. My biggest distraction wont fucking work
I feel weak and lightheaded & dont even remember what i took this time
Fucking weak

[Amaryllis]

You're not weak, angel. You're far from it. You have so many adult burdens on your shoulders. You have to take care of your sisters and mum. That's a lot on your shoulders. You make my life look a lot better. You're struggling with your drug and cutting addiction. That's not easy. On anyone.

You've gotten through before. You can do it again. Failure is a blessing in disguise. Smile. Even if you don't want to. Live boldly, love greatly and laugh loudly right? You'll be okay. <3 I'm here if you ever need me. Just someone to talk to. You gotta stop locking yourself up and pushing everyone away. Time to put yourself before others, Michael.

Love,
Faith and Trust

[AppealToReason]

Z, have I ever told you that I love you in a friend way? Lol.
I really have no clue what's wrong with me though. I don't even eat anything besides breakfast really. I don't know, guess I'm still tired for some reason.

[CandyKiren]

You know what I think you should do? Play make believe. Pretend you're someone totally "normal" Pretend you don't cut, eat regular meals, stuff like that. But it's all just pretend. That way you can trick yourself into getting better...

Then again I don't know if this will work but why not try?

[Amaryllis]

Aww shux, thanks Michael. That means a lot. I've never had anyone say that to me before. I kinda love you too :) lol this is turning mushy.

I've see you post in the ED section before. Please know you can talk to me. I've been though compulsive over exercise and orthorexia as well. If you need to talk about your past, I'm here. Always willing to read long pages of words. I have no life. Jks. But I'm here for you.

Love,
Z