Alexithymia
September 11th, 2011, 06:44 PM
I told myself I wouldn't post in here. I told myself that it wouldn't be necessary. But I think that this is worth it. After tonight (and the bit of tomorrow morning in which I'll be rushing to get to school on time), I won't be able to see my sister for four years. Four. Fucking. Years.
She signed an agreement a while ago, without legal representation, that said if she did -anything- illegal, (including just getting a ticket or something completely non-important like that) she would have to go to jail for four years. Before it was twenty-five years, but her current lawyer managed to lower it. But I don't know what to do. I'm freaking out. I won't be able to see her after tonight. And I have an essay to write. And all of the research. And yes, it's due tomorrow morning.
So there's nothing I can do. I can freak out and get neither of the things I should do done, or I can do what I think is more important. I want to hang out with my sister, I really, honestly do... but this paper is important. In my opinion, not nearly as important as making sure my sister is all right and hanging out with her before she has to go away, but my parents... they want it done. So I have to get it done. (Yeah, posting on VT isn't going to help me get the paper done. But it will. It'll help me be a bit calmer.)
I don't know. Should I tell my parents that I just need this? That -we- need this? Or should I just give up and do my paper and pass out afterward, probably barely getting to hang out with her? If I don't do the paper, then I know I'm going to be yelled at in school tomorrow, but... I'll be able to be with my sister. I'll be able to know that I -helped- her.
She signed an agreement a while ago, without legal representation, that said if she did -anything- illegal, (including just getting a ticket or something completely non-important like that) she would have to go to jail for four years. Before it was twenty-five years, but her current lawyer managed to lower it. But I don't know what to do. I'm freaking out. I won't be able to see her after tonight. And I have an essay to write. And all of the research. And yes, it's due tomorrow morning.
So there's nothing I can do. I can freak out and get neither of the things I should do done, or I can do what I think is more important. I want to hang out with my sister, I really, honestly do... but this paper is important. In my opinion, not nearly as important as making sure my sister is all right and hanging out with her before she has to go away, but my parents... they want it done. So I have to get it done. (Yeah, posting on VT isn't going to help me get the paper done. But it will. It'll help me be a bit calmer.)
I don't know. Should I tell my parents that I just need this? That -we- need this? Or should I just give up and do my paper and pass out afterward, probably barely getting to hang out with her? If I don't do the paper, then I know I'm going to be yelled at in school tomorrow, but... I'll be able to be with my sister. I'll be able to know that I -helped- her.