Just need a little help, brother's dead...

[zxc2qwe]

Hey guys, beforehand let me tell you that i don't have any suicidal thoughts. I just....idk, i felt like telling my story to someone or something, just to get it out of my system. My older brother (He was 19) was killed in afghanistan a month ago. He was in the army, some kind of special forces. I pray everyday for him and stuff, and it hurts to think about his death and everything. But my parents are acting like its nothing. They're just like, "It happens, people die, it was his decision to join anyway." Everytime i bring it up, my dad's just like, "Suck it up." My mom was really sad at first, when the news came. But they just don't care now. They haven't visited the cemetary ever since it happened. My friend takes me there every weekend, its 30 min away. I just came here for advice, of why my parents are acting like this. It doesn't make sense.....IDK why i can't get over it, he was just always there....you know. Its just different without talking to him and stuff. I was wondering if my parents are acting like this because they're sad or if they just don't care. I know its kind of weird talking to online people i don't even know. But i just need to get this out of my sytem...i guess. Well thank-you, and it'd be nice if you could pray or somethin.
Thank-you

[Everglow]

I'm very sorry about your brother. He died a hero, don't ever let anyone tell you he did not. Quite honestly, I don't know about your parents. Parents are just weird sometimes. I'm dealing with shit from my own and I just don't know about them either. I doubt that they don't care about your brother. It souds as if they are angry that he died fighting for an already unfavorable cause. I guess they are sad that he died fighting for something the majority of the nation does not believe in.

Know that I am thinking of and praying for you and your family.

[Bobby]

I'm sorry to hear about your brothers loss. I think losing a family member is the single hardest thing that can happen to you in life.

But as JMA said, he died doing good. It's not like he was killed in a homicidical murder. He was killed trying to do something good. YOu have to keep that in mind.

And about your parents, I don't really know. Did they have a good relationship with him? Do they have a relationship with you?

The might just be hiding the fact that they are said because they don't want that to put you down. They might just be trying to act strong.

[zxc2qwe]

Hey thanks guys, i don't even want to talk about it with my parents anymore..... But its nice to hear from people who care. And he died from a good cause, fighting the terrorists. I am being strong, thank-you.

I forgot one thing, thank-you kiki for responding as well. I trully thought this was going to be a weird experience (the online community and all) but it turned out good.

SO THANK-YOU ALL AND GOD BLESS

EDITED BY BOBBY

[thesphinx]

first of all im sorry thats gotta be tough and i can only amagine the pain your going through.
but as everyone has said he died a good person.
DONT EVER FORGET THAT.
as for your parents, people deal with things in different ways.
some people cry some people clean some people are angry some just blow it off.
but either way it happens if they had any relationship with your brother they must be going through it like you.
just in a different way.
P.S i will pray for your brother tonight. whats his name?

[Hyper]

Hey guys, beforehand let me tell you that i don't have any suicidal thoughts. I just....idk, i felt like telling my story to someone or something, just to get it out of my system. My older brother (He was 19) was killed in afghanistan a month ago. He was in the army, some kind of special forces. I pray everyday for him and stuff, and it hurts to think about his death and everything. But my parents are acting like its nothing. They're just like, "It happens, people die, it was his decision to join anyway." Everytime i bring it up, my dad's just like, "Suck it up." My mom was really sad at first, when the news came. But they just don't care now. They haven't visited the cemetary ever since it happened. My friend takes me there every weekend, its 30 min away. I just came here for advice, of why my parents are acting like this. It doesn't make sense.....IDK why i can't get over it, he was just always there....you know. Its just different without talking to him and stuff. I was wondering if my parents are acting like this because they're sad or if they just don't care. I know its kind of weird talking to online people i don't even know. But i just need to get this out of my sytem...i guess. Well thank-you, and it'd be nice if you could pray or somethin.
Thank-you


Ok let me clarify your parents feelings with one simple saying that goes through my head daily atleast 10 times

,, It is very easy to deny something's existance or whatever happend, as long as it doesn't involve you, you are safe from it ''

I am very sure you're parents are also sad they just don't wan't to talk about it, don't even imagine for 1 second that you're parents don't care, the only people who wouldn't care about their childs death would be sick, and I'd like to think optimisticly that you'r parents loved the both of you

It's just some things are hard to talk about, and are best left 'under'

But if it realy bothers you tell them what you feel, it is realy the only thing you could do

[Bobby]

Ok first off, try not to double post in the future. :)

Secondly: It's good to hear that you are being strong, and I really hope you will stay that way. :)

[BillyWitchDoctor.com]

jus tmake sure u never forget him. dont forget the good things but dont forget that he died, u've gotta live in the real world and not try to deny things happend. i stuggle to do that with my close cousin who died a month ago, but after that u've gotta remember the good times. also u can remember he died so you, your family and america couuld live in a better world. he died doing something probably at least a hundred million americans couldnt do

[theonetheycallbob]

I am also going through the loss of a loved one.My father died of a heart attack 6 months ago. It is perfectly okay to cry and be very very sad. Just don't let those who respond negativly to it, see it. Your father's negativity may just be the way he is responding to your older brothers death. Everyone has different ways of mourning. You have to remember that and not be angry when your dad pushes the subject away. Remember we are always here for u if u want to talk.

If you ever want to talk privatly about this topic because i know it is extremly difficult feel free to message me.

[Learn2Bsmart]

I'm...very sorry. I guess i could also thank you for sharing this with me. (Its awkward that at this very moment that i'm reading about your loss, i'm listening to a song about someone losing someone close...) I've always considered joining the Armed Forces because my grades in Highschool arent average and College doesn't seem like possibility, so the Army was a last ditch option. Now that i have read about your brother, and his heroic, but nonetheless, death away from home, its makes me grief from him, and makes me angry at myself for ever considering joining the military just so i could be sent overseas and have a high percentage of getting shot or hit by an explosive and losing my life.

As for your family, don't listen to them. If thats what they say about your brother when you need help to recover, then they aren't worth grieving with.

(And no matter how old this thread is, i needed to post a reply, sorry VT...) :(

[liveandlearn]

Im very srry to here this.I think your parents might be so sad that they dont want to talk about it or visit his grave.Just keep rembering him,thats all that matters.He died a hero.

[Crazysam]

I'm praying for ya!
I'm really sorry to hear about your brother he died a hero!

[Cap'nCrunch]

It sounds to me like your parents don't want to think about your brother's death. Unless they're truly heartless bastards, they DO care about your brother. Your dad acts like a tough guy as a defense mechanism. Best of luck to all of you.

[Sugaree]

It's not that your parents don't care their sad just like you. But it sounds like you were closer to your brother. When my grandfather died (from my fathers side) I didn't understand. But when I here about the shit from the middle east I think about how they risk their lives for our freedom! you remeber all the good times you had with him! Remember just one thing he just didn't die for the usa. He died to protect you and your parents! He died a happy man i'm sure because he knew God would take him. My condolences mate

[george]

It sounds to me like your parents don't want to think about your brother's death. Unless they're truly heartless bastards, they DO care about your brother. Your dad acts like a tough guy as a defense mechanism. Best of luck to all of you.
Im sorry to hear about your brother and like many other people have said remember HE DIED A HERO. Your mom and dad are probably as sad as you are but they are just hiding it and being strong. Hope you feel better. ^^

[BradyW97]

Very sorry to hear about that. Ur parents are trying to supress the feelings. They probably do feel loss and sadness for what happened but they just don't want to remember it because they will get all messed up over the sadness of the loss. I hope I've helped u understand ur parents feelings and actions.

[Kaius]

Don't bump old threads, this is almost 5 years old. :locked: