Why I cut

[Megson]

Self-hatred is the biggest reason. I can never find anything about me that I like. I'm just one huge flaw that was never supposed to be. I'm ugly, fat, no one likes me, I'm socially awkward, and I'm good for nothing.

I try to keep my mind off of those things. I've tried to changed how I look at myself, but I can't. How is a person supposed to go about changing their whole outlook on themself? How can I STOP hating ME?

Another thing, I used to have an ED. I never ate as long as I could help it, and it paid off. I lost weight. But I was destroying my body in the long run. I often fell ill, I was weak, it was hard to get through a whole day sometimes.

I managed to quit it, and I've been good for a while. But I'm now noticing all of the new weight I've gained. I'm FAT, and I hate myself for it. I refused to fall back into that old ED, but cutting became a substitute. Cutting has become like a form of punishment for letting myself go, for being unlikable, for being ugly, for being ME.

I'm on day two of trying to quit. But I don't know if I can actually do it unless I can changed my warped view of myself.
(Sorry for the long rant. I just needed to get it out...)

[alley]

Hey, you shouldn't feel like this.
You should learn to love yourself. As hard as it seems - That's what you've got to do.
A quote I often like to go by is:

'Happiness isn't when everything is perfect. Happiness is when you have decided to look beyond the imperfections.'

So, you see imperfections in yourself as a person...But I'm sure they're not as bad as you think, negative emotions feed off one another, and they become bigger.
You're not good for nothing. Tell yourself that. There are good qualities in every person, you've just got to identify them.
As for the socially awkward and no one likes you, have you tried to make more friends? If not, maybe you could go talk to a councilor, or someone. They can offer advice, on how to meet new people and also how to deal with your personal view on yourself.
cutting isn't the answer, in the long run it will make you feel worse.
You can do this, you just got to believe in yourself. Is there anyone you can talk to? A family member? Anyone? Someone who you can share your problems with? Just talking about them can always help, and make you feel less alone? PM me if you want. You don't have to do this alone - you can feel better about yourself. It just takes time.

[ShatteredGlass]

1) You have to start loving yourself before you get to your desired weight. 2) Talk to yourself. Everyday stand in front of your mirror and find 3 things you like about yourself and say them out loud. Say "I love my hips" "I love my eyes" "I love my hair" whether you believe it or not. Are action always follows our words and our words follow our mind. So you have to fight your thoughts. People often give up control and succumb to depression because they think that they cannot control their thoughts but you can you just have to fight for it. What ever side you feed of yourself will become stronger so if you think negative self-hating thoughts then that side is stronger if you think about yourself in a loving way that side will be strong. So when you have those thoughts of self-loathing recognize them and say something positive. "I like my smile! I am a nice person! I have a body but I am not my body! I am so much more than that and I love the more that I am" if losing weight is your goal. You have to avoid becoming obsessed with it. Written goals are powerful. Try writing a big goal like "live healthier" and then write shorterm goals for that long time one. Then you can write. "Eat Healthier" "Excercise Regularly" And under those you can write "cut out junk food." then "keep vegetables in the house" under excercise regularly you can put where you want to excercise, how, for how long, with who. It's a process of a healthier lifestyle that will put you in the size you want. Be realistic though and celebrate your progress! You don't have to only eat celery though! Instead of having 5 cookies have 1 (thats just an anology). Don't beat yourself up all the time. If you slip get back up and try again. Show people your goals. Accountability will help you a lot. But the most important thing is balance. And you. Because only you can change you. Decide what you want and know that it is entirely within your reach.

[Megson]

You should hate yourself you're a terrible person.

Yeah. Thanks for that.

[Megson]

1) You have to start loving yourself before you get to your desired weight. 2) Talk to yourself. Everyday stand in front of your mirror and find 3 things you like about yourself and say them out loud. Say "I love my hips" "I love my eyes" "I love my hair" whether you believe it or not. Are action always follows our words and our words follow our mind. So you have to fight your thoughts. People often give up control and succumb to depression because they think that they cannot control their thoughts but you can you just have to fight for it. What ever side you feed of yourself will become stronger so if you think negative self-hating thoughts then that side is stronger if you think about yourself in a loving way that side will be strong. So when you have those thoughts of self-loathing recognize them and say something positive. "I like my smile! I am a nice person! I have a body but I am not my body! I am so much more than that and I love the more that I am" if losing weight is your goal. You have to avoid becoming obsessed with it. Written goals are powerful. Try writing a big goal like "live healthier" and then write shorterm goals for that long time one. Then you can write. "Eat Healthier" "Excercise Regularly" And under those you can write "cut out junk food." then "keep vegetables in the house" under excercise regularly you can put where you want to excercise, how, for how long, with who. It's a process of a healthier lifestyle that will put you in the size you want. Be realistic though and celebrate your progress! You don't have to only eat celery though! Instead of having 5 cookies have 1 (thats just an anology). Don't beat yourself up all the time. If you slip get back up and try again. Show people your goals. Accountability will help you a lot. But the most important thing is balance. And you. Because only you can change you. Decide what you want and know that it is entirely within your reach.

Thank you. I may be able to use some of this...but it's hard to love myself when everyone else seems to have some reason to hate me, without even knowing me. It makes me wonder what's wrong with me...and I just decided to answer the question for myself.

[xXl0sth0peXx]

I feel for you. I really do.

I think a ton of self harmers suffer from self hatred. I for one do, and I've come across a ton on this form, and in real life who feel that way. I hate the way I look. I would pay anything to change it. I try and keep my mind off it too. I wish I could give you advice on how to do so, but I kinda can't, but I can support you in knowing how you feel. I don't officially have an ED, and I strongly dislike when people self diagnose theirselves, but I probably go from one ED to another.. not eating for a few days, then eating and puking, and then back to square one. So I can totally relate there.

I wish I could give you advice on how to quit, but I wanna wish you really really good luck, and you can do it. You're not alone. Day one is always hard. Once you get started, you can do it. <3

[AncientCatastrophe]

Don't ever give up on yourself
I also felt what you've been going through. I always felt insecure and I am always shy because of my looks but I learned to accept my self. Nobody's perfect everybody has imperfections and accepting yourself will be the only way for people to accept and respect you too.

[ShatteredGlass]

Thank you. I may be able to use some of this...but it's hard to love myself when everyone else seems to have some reason to hate me, without even knowing me. It makes me wonder what's wrong with me...and I just decided to answer the question for myself.

If anyone "hates" you or doesn't like you and you have not wronged them it's not you with the problem it's them. Insecure and/or Selfish people hate and people who don't like someone who hasn't done anything are wrong. And learning to love yourself is a process, one that took me years, it is hard. But most things that are worth achieving are hard. The reason why it is hard is because you have to spend time developing roots so that in your hearts of hearts you have learned to like, love, and be comfortable with yourself if it was an overnight process it could be undone in a day but since it does take years it would take years to undo it. Now everyone is different so it might take you less time, I really do hope so but if it doesn't don't be discouraged. Nothing is wrong with you. To say that something is wrong with you is to say that everything is right with everyone else which is a lie. Everyone has their flaws no one is all good. You're not an accident. You're here on purpose so if your being is purposeful there is most certainly nothing wrong with you. Remember, you are not your mistakes. You are not your body. You are much, much greater than that.