Help me..

[Hopegirl]

I hate myself at the moment, i just hate the way i've become since i started self-harming.I've become such a liar and just a horrible person. I hate it when people see my cuts (i usulally hide but sometimes i forget) and ask what happened, why? Because im ashamed of it. A few days ago i gave my blades to my boyfriend to throw away, a few days later i was back at his house and he told me he'd broken them up into little pieces and was going to dispose of them and showed me all the little pieces of the razor blade, he was gone for a few minutes and i took 3 pieces. What the hell?! I confessed to him. All is well until im going through my draw and find a razor head, i manage to take the sides off and now have 3 brand new sharp blades. You take blades away from me and i just replace them, recovery seems impossible :( Another thing is that...my parents have seperated,my brother is going off to Uni this weekened so my mum feels completely alone apart from me. I was on a shooting range the other week and my instructur saw my cuts and told my mum. She got so upset that i hadnt talked to her , i feel terrible because she just worries so much about me and im this lousy daughter who's just fucked up and useless.Help me.Please.

[bambino]

i know how you feel :(
it can turn you into a very secretive different person, the otherday I managed to get a blade- then stopped and handed it over ot my parents. I know its difficult because theres always someplace to get a blade from/something to hurt yourself with. But eventually it will become easier to cope without self-harm i promise.
you are not a bad person, youre going through a hard time- be easier on yourself. Its difficult enough having an addiction to cutting without berating yourself anymore.

Parents find it very difficult to understand, I know mine do. But the best thing ot do is be compeltely honest with them. they would rather you opened up and they could try and understand than you kept it bottled up.

[AncientCatastrophe]

Tell your mom about it
She'll definitely listen to you and of course she'll help you
Your Mom will be the only one you could talk to at your house
And never give up I'm sure you''ll recover

[ShatteredGlass]

Self-hate is not that uncommon but that doesn't make it any better for you. Who you are and what you do are too separate things. You should still go to your mom because its her maternal instinct to want to help you. If you have the resources do not go at it alone. It's important when you feel like cutting to get to people. Call someone. Go for a walk. Go talk to your mom. Just get out from whatever solitary place you find yourself in. Do not hate yourself though because you shouldn't hate anyone and you count as a person. No one can stop your cutting but yourself. Until you find another way let the emotions our avoidance will not help and no matter how many blades you give away there will always be more.