How To Die

[Amaryllis]

(Read it semi-fast. It's meant to be upbeat)

HOW TO DIE

I'll put a gun in my mouth
I'll point into my head
I'll pull the trigger and boom, I'll go
I'll die in mama's bed

I'll slit my wrists, again, again
I'll sip some lovely wine
I'll snuggle up in my bathtub
I'll sleep and cross the line

I'll find some stones and stomach 'em
I'll fish for needle thread
I'll feather stitch my tummy shut
I'll sink beneath the dead

I'll stand on the highest point
I'll stare at cars below
I'll shush the silence and 1, 2, 3
I'll fly and fly below

I'll loop a rope round and round
I'll learn to be a scout
I'll leave the ground and up I'll hang
I'll find my own way out

I'll wrap myself in a comfy clothes
I'll wash down all the pills
I'll wait for the pain to end
And soon all will be still.

[embers]

Sometimes, absolute repetition throughout the poem, even if used intentionally, can result in it becoming dull. Try to avoid that.

[fenrirdies]

This may be my favorite so far, so many ways to go. :D 2 thumbs up

[Love.Hate]

Honestly I loved this one. I like how peaceful you make death.

:)

[Amaryllis]

Embers,
Thanks for the constructive criticism :) I do that quite a lot. Hell, I think soon my poems are gonna bore me to death. It's just kind of hard sometimes being artistic when you have OCD. I absolutely despise a "messy" poem. But I'll try next time cause you're right. I'm an extremely boring person.

Fran,
Thank you :)

Jamani,
Thanks for reading another one of my poems!

[Iris]

INCREDIBLE. I love how suicide is portrayed-not as something terrible, but something comforting and almost happy, which is the way many suicidal people view it. I love how the poem moves and rolls off your tongue; the instances when it flows, and when it's abrupt. I love your attention to detail, like how the first three lines in each stanza begin with the same letter, after the "I'll." I think the repetition really works, especially in a poem like this, where you are going through all the different ways to commit suicide. It also reinforces the desire to end it , by repeating yourself with such conviction. There's so much I can say bout this poem. But overall, great job.

You are seriously talented. :).

[Skyhawk]

Ever seen a Guinness commercial? If you have, read the following text in that style:

"BRILLIANT!"

That is all.

[Amaryllis]

Thanks so much, Lily and Pat :D Another pattern is umm... I don't know how to describe it.

I'll put
I'll point
I'll pull

All Ps hehe

Thanks for reading!

[LifeisLife]

..........

[Amaryllis]

Oh man. I hope it doesn't make you guys/girls actually WANT to do it... I was just in a really crappy mood. Maybe I should keep triggering poems to myself x.x

Thanks though!

[embers]

Embers,
Thanks for the constructive criticism :) I do that quite a lot. Hell, I think soon my poems are gonna bore me to death. It's just kind of hard sometimes being artistic when you have OCD. I absolutely despise a "messy" poem. But I'll try next time cause you're right. I'm an extremely boring person.

You're absolutely not a boring person - there's nothing wrong with the use of patterns in poems. The only issue is knowing how far to go. Judging by the comments here though, maybe it's just me.

[Amaryllis]

Nah. I do agree my poems tend to be.. Very structured.. I tried writing a "messy" one just now but man it's hard. The counsellor challenged me to put 3 textbooks to the right and I couldn't do it.

To be completely honest, I myself zone out after the first couple stanzas. But I just can't bring myself to make a messy poem you know? I mean yeah, artistic license but still.

[embers]

Nah. I do agree my poems tend to be.. Very structured.. I tried writing a "messy" one just now but man it's hard. The counsellor challenged me to put 3 textbooks to the right and I couldn't do it.

To be completely honest, I myself zone out after the first couple stanzas. But I just can't bring myself to make a messy poem you know? I mean yeah, artistic license but still.

It doesn't necessarily have to be 'messy'. You can have structure without pattern, it doesn't necessarily make it messy. I recently read this (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/lessons/songwriting__lyrics/some_compositional_principles.html) very good article on ultimate guitar about writing lyrics (which also applies to poetry; the two are essentially the same), there is a structure section there that you might find worth reading. Although granted, I don't have OCD so I can't comprehend what a lack of pattern might feel like to you. The purpose of my message was that over-enforcement of the repetition can weigh down a poem, so it's worth testing what you can live without by cutting lines and seeing how you fare, but I wasn't criticising the fact that your poems are mostly structured and patterned :P

[Amaryllis]

I know. I'm just criticising them myself. I have 3 types of poems. The sad/happy ones are ABCB, the angry/hateful ones with each stanza having 2 sentences and the... Weird ones that are everywhere and don't rhyme which come every once in a while.

Oh you use ultimate guitar as well! I use that website for all the chords. Mmm... Just finished reading. It's actually really helpful. Thanks for sharing that with me :) i will try something different next time... Once the inspiration hits me. Unless I start writing poems about being okay.

[OptimusPrime]

Another nice piece of work. Wow, you're really amazing me lately.

[Amaryllis]

Thank you, aaron :)

[tav18]

"You can't cheat death"- Final Destination

good poem though:)

[Amaryllis]

Lol I'm not saying I'll kill myself in all those ways. Just saying I could. But thanks ;)