Advice?

[screamtobeheard]

My boyfriend won an essay contest that gives him the opportunity to go to Italy and study abroad, and I'm totally happy for him. I think it'll be good for him if he goes, but...it's for a whole year. A lot happens in a year. If he goes, he'll leave in two months. He'll miss Christmas, his birthday, my birthday, my senior prom, my graduation, a whole summer (my last high school summer), and...I'll be in college by the time he gets back. I need his support this year. A lot is going on. And...this is gonna sound so stupid, but it's true. I am in love with this boy. I have been in love for this boy for five years. He is the only person on the planet capable of making me feel sort of okay or forget anything, or honestly believe (even for just a little bit) that everything will be okay. I need him here. And I know for a fact that if I go to him and tell him that I want him to stay here, with me...he will. But, at the same time...he loves Italy, and he wants to go there so badly. I don't want to take that from him, and I want him to be able to make his own decision. I don't want him to stay because I'm selfish...I don't know. I need advice, if anyone has any, please?

[bravo-charlie]

This is obviously very hard for you, and I am sorry that life puts things like this on us.It is a very hard decision. I don't really know what kind of advise for me to give you, but you can always stay in communication with him(skype, facebook, Twitter, etc), if you let him go to Italy, of course. It would be easier if there was two tickets, so that both of you could go.

[screamtobeheard]

Yeah, that would be easier. But I'm in high school anyway, so I wouldn't be able to go. Thanks for your response. (:

[bambino]

I know this sounds terrible but hun, if you love him- you have to let him go.I know you feel like you need him. And it would be really difficult without him for a while, there are ways to stay in touch. Not only that but its unhealthy for you to be so reliant/dependent on another person- to be truly happy you have to be happy alone.
If you love someone you put their happiness above your own however much it hurts :(
Hence, if Italy will make him happy you should encourage him- he might never get the chance again.



Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.- Corinithians
[I'm not extremely religious but I do believe in its sentiments]

[Solvez18]

it sounds rather unfair on you, i say let him know how u feel and tell him not to be too pressured about it.

[Kujiro]

If you do love and care for him, should let him pursue bigger dreams, what he had was an opportunity, opportunities never actually knocks on doors, they have always been at the door, only available if you take the effort to open it.

What he needs is not worrying, but a supportive girlfriend.
It's generally tough to maintain a long distance relationship, take it as a trial to your relationship.

If he is to travel and do well, he needs you to support him fully as well, as you mentioned he's your pillar of strength and solace, I'd suppose he would be feeling the same way as well.
Trust and respect for each other would be of upmost importance, assuming a few years down, you are wedded, he has to travel for work reasons.
Would it not be the same?

Tell him how you feel, but allow him to go with fullest of support.
You would be surprise how much more the relationship would mature if this phase is done well.

Ultimately the choice belongs to you, and how you intend to approach, advise is all we can share, from our vantage point.

Good luck
*smile*

[screamtobeheard]

I know this sounds terrible but hun, if you love him- you have to let him go.I know you feel like you need him. And it would be really difficult without him for a while, there are ways to stay in touch. Not only that but its unhealthy for you to be so reliant/dependent on another person- to be truly happy you have to be happy alone.
If you love someone you put their happiness above your own however much it hurts
Hence, if Italy will make him happy you should encourage him- he might never get the chance again.
You're 100% right, and this is exactly what I've been doing. Today, I told him exactly how I feel. But I also told him that despite that, I think he should go. Because I know how badly he wants to go to Italy, and how badly he wants to get out of this hell hole of a state. I understand where he's coming from, and at least one of us should be able to follow through with it.
If you do love and care for him, should let him pursue bigger dreams, what he had was an opportunity, opportunities never actually knocks on doors, they have always been at the door, only available if you take the effort to open it.

What he needs is not worrying, but a supportive girlfriend.
It's generally tough to maintain a long distance relationship, take it as a trial to your relationship.

If he is to travel and do well, he needs you to support him fully as well, as you mentioned he's your pillar of strength and solace, I'd suppose he would be feeling the same way as well.
Trust and respect for each other would be of upmost importance, assuming a few years down, you are wedded, he has to travel for work reasons.
Would it not be the same?

Tell him how you feel, but allow him to go with fullest of support.
You would be surprise how much more the relationship would mature if this phase is done well.
This is all very true as well. Again, I'm trying to encourage him to go, because I know it will make him happy.

Still, I don't know if he will go or stay. He's got a lot of people telling him to stay home (which I personally think is incredibly selfish of them), and he likes to make other people happy. I guess I'll have to just wait and see for now. Thank you all for your support. (:

[Kujiro]

You are always welcome :)
Yea, I think the others who want him to stay are pretty selfish, regardless give him your full support of his decision, it always more consoling to have someone backing you for your decision.
Likewise for everyone.

Good luck
*smile*