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View Full Version : Should single mothers find positive father figures for their kids?


ShyGuyInChicago
September 7th, 2011, 03:15 PM
Statistics on Fatherless Children in America (http://fatherhood.about.com/od/fathersrights/a/fatherless_children.htm)

Fatherless children are more likely to be depressed, commit suicide, be violent, go to jail, do poorly in school, drop out of school. Girls from fatherless homes are more likely to get pregnant as a teen. Because of this I think we should encourage single mothers to find positive male role models for their kids.

I once said this on another forum to answer the question in the title. After people pointed out that problems faced my younger teens are not necessarily caused directly by absent fathers, but possibly by poverty since single-parent households I later amended my position to this:


If fatherless families families are more likely to have lower income, and that is the cause or a contributing factor of these kids problems, then we as a society should attempt to encourage men to not abandon their families. I saw a documentary that talked about how among black Americans there are large numbers of fatherless children and single mothers. It was mentioned that among African Americans there are higher rates of poverty, and that is one thing that causes the issue of fatherless families. It was said that when people are stressed by poverty and other issues it becomes more difficult to maintain relationships. The stress of poverty might lead children to do poorly or give up on school, choose to solve problems with violence, engage in risky sexual behavior at a young age, and so on. In addition, the documentary also stated that men are more likely to abandon their families if they are unable to fulfill the role of being a provider.

Black Eight
September 7th, 2011, 09:15 PM
I read a book that said that it's not really the father's influence that affects the children, it's more the income that he provides. So if this were to be true, I don't think it's really necessary for single mothers to find father figures for their children.

Unlucky_Leprechaun
September 7th, 2011, 10:12 PM
Truthfully, I think the mother should find whomever is right for her. She has to find someone that she is comfortable with as well that is comfortable with her child. There are not a lot of guys willing to play dad to someone else's child and knowing that the real dad may potentially come back at anytime..so I think that for a guy to take that into account for the relationship says something about him from the onset (in a positive manner). But overall the mom has got to trust and respect him enough to know that he entered into the relationship for good reason and obviously cares for her to do it.

User Deleted
September 8th, 2011, 12:11 AM
I think PEOPLE SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE ABOUT SEX AND NOT DIVORCE. That complicated my life a lot. So my opinion is stay together for a year before even think about getting married. Then think another year about sex. After that, dont have a child unless you are responsible enough to have ONE. Work from there after another YEAR of experience. Notice a pattern? One year of experience before decision. Its just personal I guess.

Korashk
September 8th, 2011, 02:52 PM
Yes.

http://i53.tinypic.com/muc00p.png

That is some fairly hefty correlation.

DerBear
September 8th, 2011, 03:37 PM
I think PEOPLE SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE ABOUT SEX AND NOT DIVORCE. That complicated my life a lot.

Sometimes having kids seems like a good idea but 9 years down the line things could fall apart you cant seriouisly expect someone to stay with someone else "for the sake of the kids" What would hurt more while you are a child your parents get divorced OR when you are say 19 and your parents get a divorce and they tell you that they have been in a loveless marrige for many years

I think 2 things need to be taken into account when you find a man if you are a single mother

If hhe is right for the mum and the children
AND
If he is stable and can provide