Is it strange and extreme to refuse to come back to a place that had a mass shooting?

[ShyGuyInChicago]

I once said on another forum that if there was a mass shooting at the place I currently attend college or where I work (assuming I had a job.) I would transfer to another college or find another job as soon as possible and never come back. The reason is that I would be extremely shocked and distressed that something like that happened while I was there. Not only that, but I would be uncomfortable the the fact that there would most likely be some physical memorial around the place that would just remind me of what happened.

I was told that what my reaction sounds odd and extreme, by a person who lives in a country where gun crime including mass shootings are much rarer than in America. I really do not think it is necessarily odd or extreme. Traumatic events can cause a great toll on people's psyches. Sometimes the best thing to alleviate the trauma is to leave the place that reminds the person of the trauma. Of course, there is no right or wrong way to deal with such a thing. Plus, another reason why I think it such a reaction is not inherently strange is the place I formerly attended college had a mass shooting in 2008 and the lecture hall where it happened is no longer being used for classes because there was a general consensus among students that they did not want to attend classes in the hall anymore because of the incident. (As an aside it was briefly considered that the hall would torn down and replaced with a memorial with another lecture hall built nearby on campus. Now the lecture hall will be renovated inside and out with updated technology. The hall has two auditoriums. The auditorium where the shooting took place will no longer be used as a classroom and will become an anthropology museum. A new auditorium will be built and it will connect the building to another nearby building.)

[Iris]

I don't think it's strange, but it is extreme to not want to return there.

As you said, the mind would be hugely affected by experiencing such a tragedy, in which case it makes perfect sense to not want to return to the scene. Avoidance is once of the most utilized defense mechanisms. People shy away from dealing with bad experiences. So it's definitely not strange. However, that being said, it is a bit extreme to completely avoid the location of the tragedy; you'd essentially just be avoiding it because of the anxiety you feel towards that location, and this will result in you never fully dealing with the events that took place. It would make sense if you felt uncomfortable, knowing that people died all around you, but switching colleges is extreme, because that's just a manifestation of the untreated fear and/or trauma you're experiencing.

[huginnmuninn]

theres probably some statistic somewhere that says places with mass shootings has less chance of having another mass shooting so i would probably stay there.

[Neptune]

Yeah, it's not strange. I've heard of it before, but, I know that I would personally would return to the college. Would you move if someone died in your house? You cannot run away from the pain of loosing someone, it'll follow you. You can go to a new job or school, but, it'll always be in your memory.

[ShyGuyInChicago]

Yeah, it's not strange. I've heard of it before, but, I know that I would personally would return to the college. Would you move if someone died in your house? You cannot run away from the pain of loosing someone, it'll follow you. You can go to a new job or school, but, it'll always be in your memory.

I understand it (your points), but if someone died in my house by violent means, I have to say that I would have trouble feeling comfortable in the house.

[Iris]

I understand it (your points), but if someone died in my house by violent means, I have to say that I would have trouble feeling comfortable in the house.

I agree with this. A lecture hall is a single room you remain in for only an hour, maybe two, so switching colleges because of that one room is extreme. However you live in your home, which makes the situation completely different.

I'd move out.

[ShyGuyInChicago]

I agree with this. A lecture hall is a single room you remain in for only an hour, maybe two, so switching colleges because of that one room is extreme. However you live in your home, which makes the situation completely different.

I'd move out.

What if a person leaves the college because, they simply do not wish to see any physical memorials on the grounds that the memorials will bring back the negative memories.

[Iris]

What if a person leaves the college because, they simply do not wish to see any physical memorials on the grounds that the memorials will bring back the negative memories.

Then they are not dealing with what happened and are still somewhat traumatized, and are just trying to protect themselves by avoiding the situation altogether. If the need to avoid is so powerful that it forces that person to go to an entirely different college, then I would label it as an 'extreme' response.

[ShyGuyInChicago]

Then they are not dealing with what happened and are still somewhat traumatized, and are just trying to protect themselves by avoiding the situation altogether. If the need to avoid is so powerful that it forces that person to go to an entirely different college, then I would label it as an 'extreme' response.

That's a fair point. Though, honestly, I thik there is no right or wrong way to deal with such things.

[Korashk]

I don't know if it's strenge, but it is, in general, illogical.

[ShyGuyInChicago]

I don't know if it's strenge, but it is, in general, illogical.

Why is it illogical?

[Korashk]

Because rampage shooting are exceedingly rare and not correlated to location.

[ShatteredWings]

^ Emotions aren't logically.

I don't think it's paticurlary strange, no. Especially if you were directly involved, the PTSD really... I couldn't blame anyone who didn't want to go back

[ShyGuyInChicago]

Because rampage shooting are exceedingly rare and not correlated to location.

That may be true, but like I said before some people do not wish to reminded of something like that happening at their school.