stories
September 6th, 2011, 10:56 PM
So this is a weird reason for actually recovering.
After two months of emotional stress (which is still going on), obsessing over food, counting calories, over-exercising, hating myself, and hoping my two brothers don't worry about me as much as they do, I think I am going to get better.
This last week I have not been able to go to the gym and it has bugged me. I have been so irritated with the amount of food I have been eating, as I feel it has been too much, and that I have not been able to work out. The bit of OCD in makes me want to see the number of calories I'm losing all the time.
This has bugged me to a point where I am really sick of doing it all. I am so sick of hating myself for this stuff that I am thinking I am going to get better.
It is a weird reason for recovery, but it is what I have at this point. I am not sure how far I'll go through with this, but I hope to go far, as this is annoying me too much. I mean, I still want to get so much smaller and can still track what I eat, but the over-eating and lack of exercise (in terms of my wants for routines, which I need in my life), is just getting to me too much.
So I guess this is recovery. For now.
I just thought I'd post this good thing here while it's in my mind. I know it is the opposite (in some ways) to my last post ("rant") on here.
After two months of emotional stress (which is still going on), obsessing over food, counting calories, over-exercising, hating myself, and hoping my two brothers don't worry about me as much as they do, I think I am going to get better.
This last week I have not been able to go to the gym and it has bugged me. I have been so irritated with the amount of food I have been eating, as I feel it has been too much, and that I have not been able to work out. The bit of OCD in makes me want to see the number of calories I'm losing all the time.
This has bugged me to a point where I am really sick of doing it all. I am so sick of hating myself for this stuff that I am thinking I am going to get better.
It is a weird reason for recovery, but it is what I have at this point. I am not sure how far I'll go through with this, but I hope to go far, as this is annoying me too much. I mean, I still want to get so much smaller and can still track what I eat, but the over-eating and lack of exercise (in terms of my wants for routines, which I need in my life), is just getting to me too much.
So I guess this is recovery. For now.
I just thought I'd post this good thing here while it's in my mind. I know it is the opposite (in some ways) to my last post ("rant") on here.