Why me? Why? I want to die.

[OptimusPrime]

Today has been a really bad day for me. I feel sick, I'm not allowed to go home because my tutor said no... My friend is in hospital and she may have Cancer, I'm ugly and fat (Even though just under 100KG I have to get smaller and I fucken well can't and I say that to my diabetic lady and she keeps saying for me to lose some more of it!!!!!!!)... and really... I'm starting to think of ways to kill myself or hurt myself so much this world would just fuck off and leave me alone. I'm sick of this world, I'm sick of living.

I hate my life. I hate everything around me. In fact I hate the word hate.

If anyone feels like talking to try and make me feel better send me a VM or PM. But I doubt anyone here will care so I don't even know why I'm being open in this topic about my fucked up life.

I have not eaten this afternoon and I am supposed to due to my diabetes. Maybe something will go bad for that and I end up in a good coma and stay like that for many years to come.

Maybe when I wake the fuck up this world will not be as fucked up as it is.

I just want to die!

If anyone suggests seeing anyone then I will feel even more worse due to my pathetic social phobia. I wish that would fuck off out of my life. I just wish I could get out of this world. I feel like getting run over.

[Brokeandbetrayed]

Don't kill yourself, people are just cruel. Send me a message if ya need anything

[OptimusPrime]

...

And you're only being 'nice' because you want that website done.

Another thing which annoys me. PEOPLE WANT ME TO DO STUFF FOR THEM! I AM NOT MARY FUCKEN POPPINS.

[Vonn]

Jumping all over someone is not how you get other people to talk to you.

[OptimusPrime]

I'm pissed off okay. Sorry that this world is fucked up. Sorry I'm alive so you have to put up with this topic that you would rather not put up with and put up with a puberty duplicate instead. I shouldn't have even been born in the first place.

[Vonn]

I'm pissed off okay.

I see that.

Sorry that this world is fucked up. Sorry I'm alive so you have to put up with this topic that you would rather not put up with and put up with a puberty duplicate instead. I shouldn't have even been born in the first place.

I'm sorry you feel that way. Are you really so pissed off that you would throw it all away, just like that?

[OptimusPrime]

Yes, I would.

In fact I could go out of course and go in front of a moving car right now.

[Brokeandbetrayed]

No dude i don't give a fuck about the website. I use to want to die, I don't want anyone to commit suicide.n

[OptimusPrime]

No dude i don't give a fuck about the website. I use to want to die, I don't want anyone to commit suicide.n
You're a good guy Eric. You wouldn't notice I'm gone.

[Vonn]

Yes, I would.

In fact I could go out of course and go in front of a moving car right now.

And let your friends and family deal with the aftermath? As well as traumatize the driver? That's really not the way to go about things.

[OptimusPrime]

Well then I'll find another way to kill myself.

[Brokeandbetrayed]

I would notice because this is the only place I have friends. I use to think about how everything could be easier if I was dead. Sure I still cut but I will never commit suicide. It's a permanent solution to a temporary issue.

[OptimusPrime]

I would notice because this is the only place I have friends. I use to think about how everything could be easier if I was dead. Sure I still cut but I will never commit suicide. It's a permanent solution to a temporary issue.
And I have no real friends either.

[Brokeandbetrayed]

You just have to make the best of what you have. Please don't do anything.

[Vonn]

And I have no real friends either.

My friend is in hospital and she may have Cancer,

Right. If she's not your friend then why do you care?

Really, this is all that needs to be said:

It's a permanent solution to a temporary issue.

[OptimusPrime]

... Apart from her. >.< But she's more an online friend as I've never 'actually' met her.

[Brokeandbetrayed]

Still, that's someone

[Vonn]

... Apart from her. >.< But she's more an online friend as I've never 'actually' met her.

That doesn't make her friendship with you any less valuable.

[OptimusPrime]

I guess. I'll see how long I can last but I doubt it will be much longer. I'm so tempted to cut.

[Vonn]

I'd advise against it, as blood is supposed to remain within the human body. But it's definitely a much more desirable option than suicide, so there's that.

[Brokeandbetrayed]

Cutting becomes an addiction, it's controls people, it controls me. It is better than suicide but still a dangerous option.

[aperson444]

Fuck man, that's happened to me before. I think I was going to build a bomb and blow myself up at school. I actually still don't think that was a bad idea, but you gotta remember that time moves forwards. We end up dying anyways, so enjoying what we have left is better than simply dying. You sound like a good guy, and world needs more good people. The human species is on a steep downwards slope, the world is a dark, fucked up place, but there are still good people around. We can't let them fuck themselves to hell and die.

[Magenta]

For the OP, I wanted to link you to this: http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=110362

Before you consider cutting, read that. Sure, it's not suicide but it's not another option. You'll just hate yourself even more. Don't do that to yourself, please. I know you don't think so but you deserve so much better. Don't cause yourself more suffering. Work with what you have. Build up your happiness again. You can do it.

I'm here if you ever need to talk.

[OptimusPrime]

Fuck man, that's happened to me before. I think I was going to build a bomb and blow myself up at school. I actually still don't think that was a bad idea, but you gotta remember that time moves forwards. We end up dying anyways, so enjoying what we have left is better than simply dying. You sound like a good guy, and world needs more good people. The human species is on a steep downwards slope, the world is a dark, fucked up place, but there are still good people around. We can't let them fuck themselves to hell and die.
If we end up dying anyway then I can cheat the process by dying earlier. That way the grim reaper does not have to worry about me.

[Brokeandbetrayed]

Dude don't do anything please.

[aperson444]

If we end up dying anyway then I can cheat the process by dying earlier. That way the grim reaper does not have to worry about me.

Or you can give the ultimate "fuck you" to the universe and live by your own ideas, you're own beliefs. Every day we live, we are dying. There's enough of that already. Living is the only way to truly say "fuck you" to everything and everyone. No matter how hard the universe tries, it can't erase you. You only die when your own body decides to.

[SinisterMystery]

Aaron, listen to me. It's not worth it. Don't kill yourself, it's a shitty way to go. There are plenty of people that love you. Your weight doesn't bloody matter either, it's who you are and who you are is a lovely person who saved me from cutting my arm open last night!

[OptimusPrime]

Aaron, listen to me. It's not worth it. Don't kill yourself, it's a shitty way to go. There are plenty of people that love you. Your weight doesn't bloody matter either, it's who you are and who you are is a lovely person who saved me from cutting my arm open last night!
Awwh. You just made me do a little smile. :3 First smile all day. Even if it only lasted a few seconds. <3

[SinisterMystery]

Awwh. You just made me do a little smile. :3 First smile all day. Even if it only lasted a few seconds. <3

Good! If you do anything I will never forgive you. I don't want to make you feel guilty but seriously. It's not what you need to do, what you need to do is take it slow and re think everything.