Do you count?

[Love.Hate]

Well I found my old diary and for the first six or seven months I counted every single cut. I used to tell myself well done for every lot I did. But the minute I reached the 1000 Mark I forced myself to stop counting because I just became obsessed. I wouldn't stop if I needed too I would keep going until it was a rounded number. Anyway thank god I'm out of that stage, I'm just curious as to whether any of you guys count/ have counted in the past?

I don't really know why I did it. But it was part of my "ritual" if that makes sense.

[bambino]

I used to want an even number of cuts on me? Like..the same number on each arm/leg or whatever so it was 'balanced'. Probably some weird OCD habit from when I was younger and everything had to be 'even'. So in that sense yes, and I would score up how many cuts I'd made afterwards but it wasn't overly important to me.

[Brokeandbetrayed]

I used to count until I reached a number such as 5,10,15,20, as intervals of 5

[Magenta]

I always count. I have to stop on an even number or an interval of five or ten. It's obsessive and I hate it.

[Love.Hate]

I used to want an even number of cuts on me? Like..the same number on each arm/leg or whatever so it was 'balanced'. Probably some weird OCD habit from when I was younger and everything had to be 'even'. So in that sense yes, and I would score up how many cuts I'd made afterwards but it wasn't overly important to me.

Yes I have a habit of doing this too. But not so much these days.

I used to count until I reached a number such as 5,10,15,20, as intervals of 5

Yes, I tended to do 10, 20, 30 etc.. Though. Intervals of ten. I'm glad I wasnt the only one with these little quirks.

Edit- Jo it won't be like this forever, one day you won't feel the need to count :hug:

[Magenta]

Edit- Jo it won't be like this forever, one day you won't feel the need to count :hug:

:hug: I know, it just seems worse as of late. For awhile I just didn't pay attention, now I do. You're definitely not the only one who does this though. I used to have a little notebook specifically for writing the date then number.

[Weeping]

Uhm.. I'm not sure.. I guess I halfly used to count them. Like.. Kinda..

This time it's more like.. just a few per time instead of a zillion, so I guess it's not much to count.

Edit: It's not a zillion yet, at least.

[Ambrosia]

I count them, still. Not for any particular reason, I just count...

[Aubrie]

I couldn't ever count fairly if I tried because I started cutting in the same cut over and over so it would be less noticeable than x amount of cuts on my arm. I always counted my scars, though.

[RakshaMalayka]

i have the tendancy to count in the back of my mind. Half the time i dont even realize im counting until im done.....

[LifeisLife]

At the start I counted, but lost track after about 15.

[AppealToReason]

Yep, also count in intervals of 5. If it doesn't end in a 5 or 0, I keep cutting until it does. Kind of sucks because there have been times where I've felt "done" at say...11, but I had to keep going to make it 15.

[Love.Hate]

Yep, also count in intervals of 5. If it doesn't end in a 5 or 0, I keep cutting until it does. Kind of sucks because there have been times where I've felt "done" at say...11, but I had to keep going to make it 15.

Yep, i have done this lots.

i have the tendancy to count in the back of my mind. Half the time i dont even realize im counting until im done.....

I found this very interesting actually, as like a sub concious thing, that you just do?

[bobby1273]

Iv counted a few times but that's as far as it went. Though generally i have to have equal amounts on each side of my body (eg same number on each arm etc).

[ShadowGirl]

Counting is part of my cutting ritual. I don't have to cut a certain number or anything.

[LittlePaperStars]

I used to for the first week...but then past 20...it was too much.
Stay strong.
xx

[Magenta]

I said it was part of ritual but as I reminded myself last night, it's only ritual if I'm thinking straight, or close to. Apparently when I completely snap, I don't.

[PartyPoison]

yes. I get a number in my head and I HAVE to do that many.thank full it's always been under 200

[Megson]

I don't count when I cut. I count aferwards, when they start to heal. But I don't keep track of it or anything...

I had a friend who tallied her cuts in a notebook. She also tallied every time she thought about cutting during the day at school. She always ended up with at least 12 tallies, if not more, by the end of the day.

[XxMurderedKissesxX]

I cut or burn in patterns of 7,I count to 7,pause,go again,pause,ext. And afterwords I count all my scars.Idunno why. Ive never written it down though.

[Amaryllis]

I used to be completely obsessed with numbers when my OCD was strong. Now, not so much. I don't count at all. But the numbers used to HAVE to have a 5 or 9 in them.

[SinisterMystery]

I always did five. I don't know why, but everytime I cut I do it five times and they are nearly always the same length.

[Infidelitas]

I only ever cut on the same spot, so I only have the one scar..

[amor2429]

I'm obsessed with counting them afterwards.
Just to know how much, too see how much a certain situation affected me..etc.
Often i just go until there's no room. No certain number or anything.

[xXl0sth0peXx]

I do and I'm glad I'm not alone..

I'm obsessed with it.. I don't care if it is even or odd or whatever.. However.. I count at the end and if I don't like the number, I do more.. I don't know what numbers I hate or like though..

[Love.Hate]

I do and I'm glad I'm not alone..

I'm obsessed with it.. I don't care if it is even or odd or whatever.. However.. I count at the end and if I don't like the number, I do more.. I don't know what numbers I hate or like though..

This sounds a lot like what i used to do....

I found that counting them up after made me feel worse if anything, it was all guilt guilt guilt.. which is why im so glad i stopped counting.

Thankyou to all you that have answered, your not alone!<3

[Punk_Kid]

I lost track, I know thats not a good thing:/ I would guess at least 300 cuts.

[xXl0sth0peXx]

This sounds a lot like what i used to do....

I found that counting them up after made me feel worse if anything, it was all guilt guilt guilt.. which is why im so glad i stopped counting.

Glad to hear I'm not alone here..

I feel guilty all the time.. Kinda like.. I know I shouldn't do it, but I have to do it it seems.. or I do it anyways.. and then I realize what I did and feel bad and do it more..

I wanna try to stop counting.. probably easier said than done, but I guess it's worth it to try..

[Love.Hate]

Glad to hear I'm not alone here..

I feel guilty all the time.. Kinda like.. I know I shouldn't do it, but I have to do it it seems.. or I do it anyways.. and then I realize what I did and feel bad and do it more..

I wanna try to stop counting.. probably easier said than done, but I guess it's worth it to try..

Its really worth it, because its one less thing to stress about. Good luck <3

[BrokenButterflies]

I counted. I my last (like, 2 years ago?) cut was when I had something like 85 cuts at one time? That was kind of a wake up call.

[Alexis goes Rawr]

i used to but i became a bit obssesive about it and it started to freak out over how high the number was getting which just made me feel worse nd triggered me to cut more :/

[secretly_secret]

No, I didn't just do straight lines until about a month ago. I always wrote about how imperfect I was on my legs, or about how I hated myself, or draw skulls and hearts.
All with needles on my left leg.