I quit :)

[LittlePaperStars]

I can't take all this pain anymore. The physical pain, that is. When I cut, it's not release. It's punishment. I feel like I deserve it for what I've been doing to everyone I love, but I realize, I'm better than that. And I'm giving up all my razors.

School just started and the stress/anxiety/nervous rate for me was really high. It still is. Today, I kept my razor hidden in my glasses case as I walked to the bathroom. I slashed at my arm 5 times, but a little harder. I pressed some toilet paper to the wounds, but as soon I took it off, more blood. It didn't stop. I got panicky, so I raced to the back feild of my school. I was so mad at myself, that I threw it as far away from me as I could. I ran away, never thinking to turn back and get it. I was still panicking, checking to see if the bleeding had died down. It didn't. I found a friend with a phone and called my mom. I explained everything to her. She told me to go to the nurse as soon as possible. So I ran there, luckily, I was the only one at her office (it's usually crowded). So she cleaned my arm, and asked me the basic, cutting/depression related questions. Then she wrapped my arm, and I was slightly less nervous and scared. But I worried about my mom the whole day and couldn't concentrate on my courses.

When I came home, mom told me that she was crying most of the day, and that she called the nurse. She said that the cuts were so deep that if I cut any deeper, I would have went into the hospital. I felt so awful about making her sad, and more importantly, being a bad influence on my younger sister.

So yeah, I'm done. I was so scared today that I'm never gonna touch a blade again.

[Rdsxbaseballfan]

good that is so great that your giving it up and trying to be a role model for your sister. although it may relief stress but it also harms you so its great to hear that you have stopped and maybe can help others though it here

[LittlePaperStars]

Yes, that's exactly what I'm aiming for :) My best friends going throught the same thing, so maybe since I've quit I can help her out more! Better role model for my sis: Check :)

[CyanideGoodnight]

Wow you just... like quit cold turkey? That takes a lot of strength and I'm happy for you, I couldn't even do that at first, congrats! :D

[Donkey]

I'm glad for you. :) Congratulations

[Amaryllis]

Wow that's absolutely amazing. We're all so happy and proud of you! Well done! I just wanna give you one big hug. You're doing really well! Keep it up!

[LittlePaperStars]

Thanks guys :)
I spoke to a leader at my church youth group, and he said that it's gonna be hard these next few months...maybe more. But I'll have urges which I'll to learn to not give in to.
I really hope you guys will realize that you're all worth so much more than what you're doing to yourselves.
I'm rooting for every single one of you <3
Thanks so much for your support :) I'll still be around to help you guys out if you need it, okay?
xx

And I'm still depressed. But I found my other methods of coping, like, talking to someone older that you trust, or a friend. I write my feelings out. I do something creative, or do somethign fun. I went out to get my hair cut. I haven't felt so pretty in a long time.
I love you guys!

[OptimusPrime]

*Hugs* Congrats. That's amazing. I hope many others find you a role model for them.

[Magenta]

Glad to hear this. :hug3: It'll be tough at first but I think the scare you had may prove to be a good motivation.

I'm here if you ever need to talk. :)

[Weeping]

That sounds great! Well the quitting part.

And I hope that you'll really be able to stop, or at least that you don't go deep if you slip. And even if you slip, don't give up.

I'm here if needed. :)

:hug:

[Brokeandbetrayed]

That's great you quit cutting. To quit cutting just all in all is undoubtfully very hard to do. Congratulations.

[crzy15]

Great Job !!!

[LittlePaperStars]

thanks again, guys. I'm beginning to think that I shouldn't have made the promise...but I think that if I have the motivation, I'll be able to resist. If I don't however, and fail, even for a moment, I hope you won't be mad at me and that the people who look up to me will forgive me. I just don't want to let anyone down...

[OptimusPrime]

thanks again, guys. I'm beginning to think that I shouldn't have made the promise...but I think that if I have the motivation, I'll be able to resist. If I don't however, and fail, even for a moment, I hope you won't be mad at me and that the people who look up to me will forgive me. I just don't want to let anyone down...

I understand how hard it is. I've never cut but the urges I get about wanting to start are massive sometimes. =/ I hope you don't give into the temptations. If you ever feel like you want you could find something else to distract you such as talking to someone, playing online games, talking around the forums or other forums around the web and/or other stuff. I've found ways to distract many of my thoughts. Especially those of killing myself. And yes, it's hard but you will be able to fight the urges.

I myself have had to stop the urge of energy drinks due to my health. I used to have three a day and now I'm not allowed any as it will affect my blood count. So I know what an urge can be like. If you ever want to talk I'm available. And if I'm not I will always chat when I'm back on. :wub:

[LittlePaperStars]

Thanks so much Aaron, don't worry. I'll be sure to try to get to each of you guys if I'm in a mood, alright? *hugs*

[HeroesAndCons]

Good luck, Best wishes if you need anyone to talk to i am here

[OptimusPrime]

Thanks so much Aaron, don't worry. I'll be sure to try to get to each of you guys if I'm in a mood, alright? *hugs*

*Hugs* Sure.

[startgame]

awesome .. i neva took a blade or knife or something harmfull against me in my life even though i was in stress or something ... actually i lead a good life with my parents and my lil sis .. :) i am glad tht u have decided not to touch tht blade :)

my advice .. just think positive of urself and u will be right thru any thing though its not easy to accept this .. but its true

[Love.Hate]

I'm sorry to hear you had to go through all of that to realise that this is what you want, but hopefully it's taught you a valuable lesson. I'm proud of you for making the descision it quit, it's gonna be hard but we are here to help you through it. Congrats sweetheart <3

[Aubrie]

Congratulations :)

It may be pretty hard the first few months, but once you get past it, you'll feel so much better. I haven't cut in almost 2 years, and I still have urges sometimes and feel like giving in, but it's nothing like it used to be. I promise you'll feel so much better <3 It's absolutely worth it. Just hang in there :)