Infidelitas
September 2nd, 2011, 07:43 AM
I want to, but I dont want to.. Who knows what the future holds. I am not blaming kyle for anything.. I guess he was trying to make me feel wanted, because we both have image problems. But he is a really decent guy, and i am glad I can be friends with him.
Its probably my fault in the end for telling him. I think he expected me to want more than I actually do with it, all I need/want is companionship, thats all.
I may never find out why he said it in the first place, I am not sure I care at the moment.
I always seem to have my eyes closed with this sort of stuff, and I am always scared that i'll take something the wrong way, I am not sure whether that is the case this time, who knows.
I am not sure whether he feels anything for me -- probably not.. But I don't know whether he would say anything anyway, but I hope if he does want something from me, he has the guts to say so. But I don't think he does.
I sometimes wonder whether I'd be better off alone for the rest of my life, I am not sure, but that would be better than this anyday. If I have to go through this, fuck it, I won't put myself through it. I can't hurt myself anymore than I already have. In the end, it was me that hurt myself, not Kyle.
I still wonder if it was the right thing to do by telling him or not. Maybe I will find out soon whether it was the right thing to do, or the wrong thing to do.
Its probably my fault in the end for telling him. I think he expected me to want more than I actually do with it, all I need/want is companionship, thats all.
I may never find out why he said it in the first place, I am not sure I care at the moment.
I always seem to have my eyes closed with this sort of stuff, and I am always scared that i'll take something the wrong way, I am not sure whether that is the case this time, who knows.
I am not sure whether he feels anything for me -- probably not.. But I don't know whether he would say anything anyway, but I hope if he does want something from me, he has the guts to say so. But I don't think he does.
I sometimes wonder whether I'd be better off alone for the rest of my life, I am not sure, but that would be better than this anyday. If I have to go through this, fuck it, I won't put myself through it. I can't hurt myself anymore than I already have. In the end, it was me that hurt myself, not Kyle.
I still wonder if it was the right thing to do by telling him or not. Maybe I will find out soon whether it was the right thing to do, or the wrong thing to do.