Relapse...

[Megson]

Yeah. I lasted three years, but I couldn't help it.

I plan to try and quit again. Yesterday I cut my right shoulder several times with a steak knife. Didn't work so well, wasn't sharp enough.

Tonight, I found a razor. Cut my left shoulder twice. Still bleeding very slightly... It was actually my first time ever using an actual razor blade. Before, I only used knives or my finger nails.

Regretting it already. Feeling like a failure. But somehow, I also enjoyed it.
But I'm DONE. I'll never do it again. Easier said than done... but its not worth the fear of someone finding out...

[Brokeandbetrayed]

3 years is a long time of not cutting. You should be proud of yourself :) although you relapsed your not a failure. It can happen to anyone who cuts. Just try using distractions In pace of cutting.

[Fiction]

A relapse is nothing. It happens to the best of us. I've said this so many times on here but i'm going to say it again, you don't fail when you relapse, you fail when you give up. Three years is a hell of a long time to go and the relapse is irrelevent really. What matters now is that you can pick yourself up again and carry on without cutting. :) you should probably also throw away that razor. Take away some temptation and lessen the damage if anything does happen again.

[SinisterMystery]

Three years is a very long time. I'm proud that you lasted that long. I can only ever manage two months at the most.

[OptimusPrime]

I plan to try and quit again.

Well Megan. I believe in you. I believe you can quit again. Sometimes people just get that sudden urge. It's like me and energy drinks. I can't have them due to my health but I get this real sudden urge sometimes and just want one so badly. (Used to sometimes have three a day)

*hugs* If you want to talk I'm always available. Well usually.

[Love.Hate]

3 years is incredible, you can do that again! And you can even go longer. Pick yourself back up, and aim for that ultimate goal of this being out your life forever. :hug: I wish you well :)

[Megson]

I keep thinking about cutting. I could barely focus at school today because I wanted to cut again soooo badly.... Now that I'm home, I keep looking at my cuts, and I'm wanting to see them bleed again. I threw away the razor I cut with, but theres more where that one came from in the bathroom.

I'm afraid I may be becoming addicted to it. I never was before, I used to only cut once in a while when I was upset or angry. But now I want to do it all the time, and I've only cut twice since I relapsed. I'm finding other things to distract me, but the thoughts are always in the back of my mind.