Apparently I fail at being a teen.

[Rocazii]

So, let me describe myself for starters. I am a seventeen year-old girl with very few friends that seem to care. This is likely due to several issues that I happen to have (I have Asperger's, and related depression and ADHD); I have the desire to socialize, but people usually consider me to be a turn-off in all respects. I find it difficult to control my voice, and I am stubborn and very pessimistic.

Anyway, whenever I make new friends, I seldom see them. I am a senior in high school, and if I make a friend in the sophomore class, I can expect to not see him in person for as much as an entire month. My more "conventional" female senior friends accept me, but they don't do much more than that. In fact, they have only invited me to hang out twice in almost four years of high school. Those incidents were all within my freshman year. And that doesn't count how I don't have their phone numbers...

Additionally, I have little in terms of social support. My family is accepting, but most of my friends are quite shallowly connected to me. The most damaging thing to me is that in addition to having no real friends that mutually like me (I'm not counting the ones who like me more than I like them) is that I have NEVER dated. I have only liked three guys in high school, and two of them definitely didn't like me back. Two other guys liked me, but I clearly am not into them. I've never even held hands with a boy.

I cannot help but feel as if I am hated, or at least considered to be off-putting, by most students. I would highly prefer to not be told how it gets better after graduation, either; I know college will fix things, but I'm not going there NOW.

*Mods - feel free to move this topic around. It could go under several different subforums.

[christcenteredlife]

you have aspergers. your first bet to being happier is to get that under control. it's difficult, but possible. it's amazing to me you desire social interaction. most ASD related disorders hate social environments, so it's great you crave them.

people don't understand ASD and tend to think people with any form of ASD are very put offish and stand offish. this is probably where your issue's with friends is coming from. it's not easy to live if an ASD condition in school. and not just high school, but in any academic climate. it will also be difficult in college, but hopefully there will be a more understanding crowd once you get there.

for now, i'd attempt to find friends who you can open up to about ASD and who you can explain who you are to. once they understand that aspect of you, it may become a better friendship for everyone involved.

good luck!

[Rocazii]

you have aspergers. your first bet to being happier is to get that under control. it's difficult, but possible. it's amazing to me you desire social interaction. most ASD related disorders hate social environments, so it's great you crave them.

people don't understand ASD and tend to think people with any form of ASD are very put offish and stand offish. this is probably where your issue's with friends is coming from. it's not easy to live if an ASD condition in school. and not just high school, but in any academic climate. it will also be difficult in college, but hopefully there will be a more understanding crowd once you get there.

for now, i'd attempt to find friends who you can open up to about ASD and who you can explain who you are to. once they understand that aspect of you, it may become a better friendship for everyone involved.

good luck!

While I understand what you are saying, I tend to disagree. I try to control my symptoms to the best of my ability, but some things, such as my voice, are nearly out of my control.

I do not wish to use my condition as a crutch. It is a part of who I am, but it doesn't define me.

Generally, I find that I have a negative feedback loop in terms of happiness. I feel sad about not having friends, so I complain about not having friends, and the cycle repeats. My grades are somewhat low as well, so I really have little to be proud of.

Thanks. :)

[christcenteredlife]

don't use ASD as crutch. that's not what i'm saying at all. i'm saying let your friends who you are. and as you mentioned, ASD is apart of WHO you are. it's probably also why your grades suffer. ASD is not something that's easy to deal with. using it as a crutch would be saying, oh, i have aspergers so no one likes me and it makes me this and it makes me that. but explaining to your friends how it effects you, and how they can help you through it, will help your friendships.

by the way, i have mid-range ASD, not aspergers, straight autism. so i understand what you're going through, but i'm a 14 year old senior. so i'm in a different situation in this way.

[cpr97]

well i think to me it sounds like you dont like yourself for whatever reason... you have to like yourself before you can expect others to like you... a real friend though will like you for who you are not what you are or how your voice sounds or what color your hair is

either way i wish you luck but think you needa accept yourself n i think then you will notice others will follow you in that (not sayin you dont like yourself but from what you posted everythin was negative you didnt mention any positive qualitys you have n dont say you have none)
you mentioned you dont have their phone numbers but have you ever asked them for their numbers? if so did they say no i dont want you to talk to me outside of school?... maybe ask 1 of them if they want to hang out sometime after school or on a weekend dont always wait for them to send the invite be proactive bout it