Worried/Letting it out

[Aubrie]

I don't know if this is the right place to post this, so I'm sorry if it's not :\ This is just kind of a let it out thing, so you don't have to read/comment, but if you have tips, that'd be great :)

I worry a lot. My "boyfriend" (quotations because we haven't labeled it yet) is a boxer. It scares me to death that he'll get hurt. Someone told me that boxers lose their hearing eventually. I would ask him not to box anymore, but that's not fair to him. He loves it, but if I did ask him, he would quit.

When he turns 19, he wants to go into the Air Force. I can't handle the thought of losing him. I know that's a year and a half away still, and most high school relationships don't work out anyway, but it's still scary :(

I worry about starting college on Wednesday because I'll be 16 in a class of 18-19 year olds. I'm worried that I'll be that weird kid who sits alone in the back.

I worry that I'll start cutting again. I've been cut-free since Nov. 9, 2009. If I start again, I'll probably end up going overboard and seriously injuring myself.

I worry about being sexually assaulted again. I freak out when I have to walk alone in the dark or do something that puts me more at risk in general.

[Kaius]

I may not have been through those types of things but I'm also a bad worrier, anything to worry about I'll worry :P Trick is to handle things one at a time, although it might be difficult there is always a way no matter how hidden it might be. Try writing a list, most important to least important and handle it that way.

As for your boyfriend theres not a lot you can do if hes that intent on doing those things, but its always worth talking to him about it. You're bound to be worried about his safety, you're his girlfriend its natural. Hell I think I've ran my girlfriend ragged since we started going out, even before then. Worrying is a natural reaction to these sort of things.

As for cutting, have you felt like its more likely that you'll start again recently? Has there been a trigger for you to consider starting again? Ask yourself and think to yourself, how did you stop? Theres many ways you can stave off cutting, but every person is different and different techniques work better than others.

As for college, worrying again is something that comes as a part of it. But just remember you aren't alone. A lot of people will be in the same boat as you whatever age they are. Just be yourself and it wont be long before you meet someone, get to know them and sooner or later it'll become almost like clockwork.

If you need to talk you can pm or email me at any time, I'd be happy to listen/talk/help. :)

[Aubrie]

I may not have been through those types of things but I'm also a bad worrier, anything to worry about I'll worry :P Trick is to handle things one at a time, although it might be difficult there is always a way no matter how hidden it might be. Try writing a list, most important to least important and handle it that way.

As for your boyfriend theres not a lot you can do if hes that intent on doing those things, but its always worth talking to him about it. You're bound to be worried about his safety, you're his girlfriend its natural. Hell I think I've ran my girlfriend ragged since we started going out, even before then. Worrying is a natural reaction to these sort of things.

As for cutting, have you felt like its more likely that you'll start again recently? Has there been a trigger for you to consider starting again? Ask yourself and think to yourself, how did you stop? Theres many ways you can stave off cutting, but every person is different and different techniques work better than others.

As for college, worrying again is something that comes as a part of it. But just remember you aren't alone. A lot of people will be in the same boat as you whatever age they are. Just be yourself and it wont be long before you meet someone, get to know them and sooner or later it'll become almost like clockwork.

If you need to talk you can pm or email me at any time, I'd be happy to listen/talk/help. :)

The list is a good idea! Thank you :)

I probably shouldn't worry about his boxing - he's a good boxer, but that doesn't mean he'll never get hit lol :\ As for the Air Force, I suppose I shouldn't worry too much since it's not like it's happening right now.

I've been wanting to cut because I blame myself for a lot of the things that happened to me. I know I shouldn't, but that's just how I am. I feel like I sent him mixed signals and that's why he did what he did :\ I suppose I'll just have to keep reminding myself how much progress I've made.

Thanks for the advice about the college! I'll only be taking two classes while remaining in high school, so at least I'll still have my high school friends even if I can't make any at college. I suppose 2-3 years isn't a huge gap.

These are probably just all empty words that I'm saying to try to talk myself out of worrying lol, but I'll try to keep positive thoughts.

Thanks!

[canyon]

I don't really know what to say to some of what you posted, but, I'll try my best.

For your college classes, don't worry about it. I'm taking classes now, I have been since last year. I did get a bit freaked out before they started, worrying about friends and being the odd one out and stuff like you are, but don't. I made friends there because I was taking classes I was interested in, which was the case for the other people in there. Right with that we became friends I guess because we all had something in common. Don't worry so much about making friends, because right now you're not there to make friends.

For your boyfriend wanting to join the military, I know it's not easy but you have to let him decide what he thinks is best for him. You shouldn't put him in a place of choosing between what he wants and you (not saying you did, just saying). If he decides to go and you two still want to be together, you'll think of something to make it work.

In short, don't spend so much time worrying about things that you can't control. You can't control who will be in your college classes and you can't control what your boyfriend will choose to do, so why worry about them? They'll happen the way they'll happen whether you like it or not, so you might as well just go with it and not worry so much, it'll make everything easier, trust me. If you want to talk about anything to get your mind off of everything, send me a PM and we can talk :]

[Aubrie]

I don't really know what to say to some of what you posted, but, I'll try my best.

For your college classes, don't worry about it. I'm taking classes now, I have been since last year. I did get a bit freaked out before they started, worrying about friends and being the odd one out and stuff like you are, but don't. I made friends there because I was taking classes I was interested in, which was the case for the other people in there. Right with that we became friends I guess because we all had something in common. Don't worry so much about making friends, because right now you're not there to make friends.

For your boyfriend wanting to join the military, I know it's not easy but you have to let him decide what he thinks is best for him. You shouldn't put him in a place of choosing between what he wants and you (not saying you did, just saying). If he decides to go and you two still want to be together, you'll think of something to make it work.

In short, don't spend so much time worrying about things that you can't control. You can't control who will be in your college classes and you can't control what your boyfriend will choose to do, so why worry about them? They'll happen the way they'll happen whether you like it or not, so you might as well just go with it and not worry so much, it'll make everything easier, trust me. If you want to talk about anything to get your mind off of everything, send me a PM and we can talk :]
Thank you for your reply :)

You were right about the college classes. It really was no big deal. There actually are quite a few high school students in my classes, so I don't feel as singled out.

I know I have to let him do what he wants. I suppose if it's meant to be then it'll work out. He just wants to go into the Air Force because he doesn't know what he wants to do with his life (other than boxing, but he knows the chances of going pro are highly unlikely). Maybe he'll find some other interests before he turns 19...hopefully...