Hating myself...

[Megson]

Back in 7th grade, I might have had a bit of an eating disorder. Every day, I ate as little as possible. I sat at the lunch table every day with a granola bar that would end up in the trash can untouched. If my mom made dinner, I took only meager helpings, and most days I hoped she wouldn't make dinner. Eating made me feel like a failure.
I've gotten over that for now... And I hate to admit it, but I want it back. I was down to 130 lbs thanks to that impractial diet. I'm now almost 200 lbs. These guys at school keep on picking on me because I'm 'unattractive' and I'm feeling so helplessly depressed at school these days and I'm starting to hate my body again...

[christcenteredlife]

i'm sure you're beautiful. don't judge your beauty by what a bunch of teenage boys say.

[SquashedFly]

i'm sure you're beautiful. don't judge your beauty by what a bunch of teenage boys say.

I very much agree with this. They are the ugly ones for being so judgmental and disrespectful. It isn't worth wasting your own time worrying about what such rude people think. I know it's difficult and you can't just switch it off, but they are ones in the wrong, not you.

[screamtobeheard]

Sweety, don't go back to that. If that's you in your profile picture, they're wrong! You are pretty, and you're far from unattractive, but even if you were, they shouldn't treat you like that. Don't let it get to you. If you want to lose weight, (1) do it for you and not because of other people, and (2) do it healthily. Starving yourself is never good, and it can have some terrible consequences. Also, do you mind me asking how tall you are?

[Megson]

Sweety, don't go back to that. If that's you in your profile picture, they're wrong! You are pretty, and you're far from unattractive, but even if you were, they shouldn't treat you like that. Don't let it get to you. If you want to lose weight, (1) do it for you and not because of other people, and (2) do it healthily. Starving yourself is never good, and it can have some terrible consequences. Also, do you mind me asking how tall you are?
Thank you for your kind responses... But, it doesn't change how I'm treated at school and how self-conscious I feel. I wish it would make a difference, but I think the only solace I can find is knowing that I only need to put up with three years of that place now, even if it feels like an eternity.
By the way, I'm 5'3"

[screamtobeheard]

Thank you for your kind responses... But, it doesn't change how I'm treated at school and how self-conscious I feel. I wish it would make a difference, but I think the only solace I can find is knowing that I only need to put up with three years of that place now, even if it feels like an eternity.
By the way, I'm 5'3"

I know. I understand how you feel, but it's still worth it to me to try because no one should have to suffer what you're going through. If you ever need to vent or talk to someone, feel free to PM me, once you get enough posts. You don't have to go through this alone.

[Megson]

I know. I understand how you feel, but it's still worth it to me to try because no one should have to suffer what you're going through. If you ever need to vent or talk to someone, feel free to PM me, once you get enough posts. You don't have to go through this alone.

I'm trying practical diet and exercise right now. I don't think I'd fall back into that last ED even if I really wanted to (not sure if it was bad enough to be called anorexia or not...) And thank you so much for your help. I'll keep your offer in mind in case I need someone to go to.

[Amaryllis]

Honey, you can be skinny and they will still find you "unattractive". When I was skinny, I was so preoccupied with exercise, calories and food that I didn't talk to anyone anyway. And people were really mean to me and ignored me. I didn't care then. I was -obsessed- with being thin. Obsessed with getting smaller. Smaller. Smaller.

In the end, only -you- have a choice to whether you will be loved or not. I'm heavier than I ever was but I have friends now. People are still mean, yes. But I live for the moments when they are kind. I live for this site. I live to help people. Don't make the same mistake as I did. I had a life, I wasn't happy but I wasn't living in my own self-inflicted hell. Anorexia has left permanent damage on my body. Physical and mental pain I do not want to have to cope with for the rest of my life.

Skinny isn't worth the consequences.

Love,
Faith and Trust

[Megson]

Just ripped a hole along the seams of my favorite pair of cargo shorts....
I'm feeling even worse...

[Amaryllis]

It doesn't matter. Buy new cargo shorts. Not tight ones, not huge ones, ones that are comfy and fit you just right.

You don't need to be perfect.

[Megson]

It doesn't matter. Buy new cargo shorts. Not tight ones, not huge ones, ones that are comfy and fit you just right.

You don't need to be perfect.

These DID fit me perfectly. They were actually loose around the waist. They were my most comfortable shorts/pants I owned. The inner thigh area is where it ripped...

[Amaryllis]

What's done is done. No point in crying over spilled milk. That's what my mama used to say. Move on, get another pair. There are always more.

[Megson]

What's done is done. No point in crying over spilled milk. That's what my mama used to say. Move on, get another pair. There are always more.

Yeah, I guess you're right :\ ....Its a little pointless to dwell over this...

And I would love to just say thank you right now and say I'm feeling better already, but that's really not the case. I'm not going to starve myself again, it's not worth it, but I'm still pretty depressed knowing that I've still got three years of school to attend feeling the way I do...

[Amaryllis]

People see you the way you see yourself.

[Gawaskar]

Hating yourself is not the solution at all.
Try to keep yourself busy in some interesting kind of work. you can also join a gym to do so.

[Lethe]

Instead of starving yourself, begin to eat healthier. Monitor your calories but don't obsess; there is a very fine line between monitoring and obsessing. Eat more fruits and vegetables. And exercise! Walk 20-30 minutes a day at first, if you can. Walk the dog or just run in place at home. There are always exercises you can do no matter where you are. Take the stairs, for example. And make sure to stay positive! Losing weight is hard, but it's much more rewarding when you lose the weight the right way :).

[caylainthesky]

Oh darling, don't be down on yourself because of what a couple of losers said. I agree with Lethe. Definitely start eating healthier! Each day add something healthy, like a fruit or vegetable to your meal. Start doing little exercises like jumping jacks, walking up and down stairs, and jogging around the house! Exercising sucks at first, but eventually it will get easier and you will feel a lot better! Also, drink a lot of water! Just take small steps and you will lose weight the right way! Just don't starve/harm yourself in order to satisfy the jerks who made fun of you! I believe in you! :)