Perceptions/self-conscious

[mcsmate]

So, sometimes when I am having a good day and doing well, I'll see myself as looking okay. But then I can look at a photo or see myself in Photo Booth on my laptop and don't look good. Then I get self-conscious about it. But then someone can tell me I look good. I sometimes feel cameras make me look less then I am. Also when people are sitting or laying down a certain way. But I guess that is supposed to be natural though. I don't know. I just had to get these thoughts out there. What are you opinions on the perception of others or yourself? Do you get self-conscious even when you know you don't need to be?

[ShadowGirl]

I have days where I think I look amazing. Then there are days where I can't look in the mirror without crying. It depends on what people have said about my looks recently. It's really frustrating because I don't even know what I look like anymore. I can't tell if I'm skinny or fat because everyday I see myself differently.

Not really sure if this is what you were looking for, but it's all I've got.

[Amaryllis]

Don't worry, sweetie. You're not the only one. Sometimes, from a certain angle I think I'm kinda pretty but from most angles I think I'm ugly. Just know that this applies to -everyone-. Even pretty girls look bad sometimes. Don't mean they're not pretty though :)

[fenrirdies]

I know how you feel , when I look down I look fat but looking the mirror I look slimmer. I'm always told I should gain wght and it is annoying, like only girls can worry about what they weigh. I looked at my bmi it said I was the right weight for my height 6'1 177pounds still wish it was less .

[mcsmate]

I think for most of us with disordered eating or issues like this, we may not see ourselves as god as we actually are or others think we are. It is a constant struggle or back-and-forth. I guess even when we look "bad" because our bodies are turned a certain way or it is natural, even on "skinny" people, it is all we see. Sometimes this feels very one minded/sided and it is hard when we are so focused on one point of view. I think it is just a battle we have to overcome. A lot of times it is not the opinions of others but our jugements of ourselves which get to us the most.

[screamtobeheard]

I feel the same way. I can only take pictures of myself from one or two angles. From one of my angles, my mouth looks weird, and from the other, my hair looks weird. So I'm incapable of taking a picture I like. If I look down, I think I'm fat, but in the mirror, I can see I'm thin, but I can see the fat on my body and I still hate myself for that. And some days, I look different than others. It's difficult to tell what I truly look like, but I never like what I see. You're not alone.

[Lethe]

No one in real life has ever told me I look good, pretty, cute, etc. So I never have a good day. Ever. I've never had a single day in my life where I thought "oh, I look good/fine/okay today" because I just know that isn't true. Why lie to yourself? At least I know where I stand.

[Bath]

No one in real life has ever told me I look good, pretty, cute, etc. So I never have a good day. Ever. I've never had a single day in my life where I thought "oh, I look good/fine/okay today" because I just know that isn't true. Why lie to yourself? At least I know where I stand.

It's called a self-fulfilling prophecy. You take a nice shower in the morning, make sure you're clean, get dressed and look at yourself and tell yourself you're pretty. When you see yourself as beautiful, you appear more confident to other people, which is pure beauty.

If you tell yourself you're a fat lard that's going nowhere, that's what you'll be.

It's only the truth.

[Lethe]

It doesn't matter what I see. What I see doesn't reflect what others see. So no matter how positive I am, boys will still think of me as ugly, and I will still always be on the lowest notch of the totem pole. There's no point in lying to myself.

[Bath]

It doesn't matter what I see. What I see doesn't reflect what others see. So no matter how positive I am, boys will still think of me as ugly, and I will still always be on the lowest notch of the totem pole. There's no point in lying to myself.

You just don't listen, do you?

[Lethe]

Just because I don't agree doesn't mean I don't listen.

How you perceive yourself is important, but isn't how others perceive you even more important, especially if you're in a highly social world? Because of that it's extremely hard for me to succeed in life.

[Bath]

You don't even take what everyone says to you as a consideration. You don't process it.

You: "I'm ugly."
9 other people on the forum: "No you're not."
You: "Nobody thinks I'm pretty."
12 other people on the forum: "We do."
You: "Everyone thinks I'm ugly."

You don't reply to what we say, at all. You just veer the topic to you being every single negative thing in the world. And I really shouldn't vent about it here cause it's really off topic, so I'm going to tie it into the topic: Your perception is NOT how the world works. YOUR opinion is not fact. YOU think you're ugly, and ALL you do is talk and think about it. Therefore, people will find you less attractive.

"But it is fact. No guy has ever dated me. Society wants thin, tan, plastic girls, not me, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm shit."

If you say ANYTHING along those lines, I just give up. I really don't know what else to say. I am TRYING Dee. I am trying because I know how it is, and I want to pull you out of it. I want to help you.

Your perception =/= somebody else's.

[bambino]

Please let's not get into this again Lethe.
I used to think exactly the same as you, exactly. Now I realize how narrow minded that was, beauty really is different for everyone. It's about so much more than appearance. People do not love you for your appearance, your appearance may catch their attention but they love you for who you are.

@ OP
I have BDD so I experience this everyday, I don't know what I look like. Which is the most frustrating thing, and I never have done. I don't recognise myself in the mirror, which I know sounds crazy- but I just don't ha.
I see someone, a person but I don't think she is me- even though I know she must be. . I hate almost everything about my appearance, some days I don't leave the house, or miss months of college.

One day I hope that I will look in the mirror and see my real face, how everyone else sees it. Sometimes when I am shopping there are lots of mirrors and windows and I see my reflection and think it's someone else and I stop and think she's a pretty girl, wish I was. Then I realize its my reflection, me! Maybe that was a glimpse of the girl everyone else sees. I'll probably never know.

[mcsmate]

I agree with the idea that it all starts by telling yourself you are good looking, and having the self-confidence to do so. And just because the people you are around don't compliment your appearance, doesn't mean everyone thinks of you that way.