I hate when people do this to me.

[screamtobeheard]

My boyfriend told me he's hungry and I told him to eat, and that I am too. He told me to eat. And I said I will later and asked him if he was going to. And he told me he wasn't. Why? Because he knows that worries me. It worries me when people I care about don't eat because I know it's bad for them. Granted, I haven't eaten anything in about 13 hours. But I'm used to this shit. He's not. If he keeps this up, I'm probably going to end up lying and telling him I've eaten. But I really don't want to do that...ugh.

[bambino]

I understand hun.
I think its fine if i don't eat for like god knows how long and get stomach cramps and faint and shit. But if my ..sort of boyfriend or my bestfriend or my family members aren't eating properly I get really really worried and bug them until they do.
They do the same as your boyfriend, why should i eat if you're not?
The best thing to do is sit down and eat with them and try and both eat healthy. Daunting as that seems, it puts my mind at rest and i also hate eating alone- so its better to eat together.

[screamtobeheard]

See, I don't really like eating around people. I've known my boyfriend for about 8 years and dated him for two and a half months and he's never seen me eat. Ever. But I guess I need to try, so he'll eat. God, I feel like my best friends and my boyfriend are trying to torture me.

[Amaryllis]

I understand what you mean, definitely. When my friends or mother don't eat or eats just a little, it's -terrible-. Most of my friends are saying how fat they are and skipping meals and eating salad and here I am eating muffins and cornets. It makes me feel like a fat pig and I worry for them! So I try to encourage them to eat. It's worse when it's my mom. She eats a lot less than me, now I know i eat -a lot- but I feel TERRIBLE. I keep thinking she's turning anorexic and the only way I cope with that is going up to her and saying "What's wrong with you? Are you turned anorexic? What's wrong with you? You have to eat. Eat. Eat. Eat." I know that's not the right way but I'm so scared and worried.

You love your boyfriend. You want him to eat. So what about you? He loves you. You gotta love yourself. If he deserves food, -you do-. Be a good role model and eat. You're far from fat and so what if you are. Better fat and happy than skinny and miserable. They're not trying to torture you, they -care about you-. You gotta learn to do that for yourself. I used to be scared of eating around people as well but it's getting better. I don't avoid social gatherings as much because of food now. Yes, I freak out and I feel huge but... Well, you can't live like this forever, can you?

Time to be free, Amanda.

Love,
Faith and Trust

[screamtobeheard]

You're right, it's either die from this or get "better." But I was trying that, I really was. Until I broke. And now I'm not eating anymore. I went to the doctor and learned that I weighed 159. That's a 21.4 bmi. I used to be 130 lbs with a bmi of 17.5. I hate how much weight I've gained, and so I've started going back to the way I was. It was always really there in my head. I'm just acting on it again. I know I've lost weight since I started back on my diet. I can feel it. I want my bones back, and I can't deal with eating right now. I know they just want to help me, but I don't want to go back to healthy eating habits, and it's scary.

[Amaryllis]

Honey, I have the BMI of 20 something as well. I feel fat and ugly but "fat" and "ugly" aren't emotions. I might be bigger than I ever was but I'm a lot happier than I was when I was skinny and people actually talk to me now. And I'm helping people so... I wouldn't go back there. I was miserable.