Baby_James94
August 26th, 2011, 03:58 AM
I'm sure the title explains it all.. But anyways, I came out to bi to my family which is really large, when they found out 70% of them said extremely mean things behind my back. The other 30% just distanced themselves from me. No one would stand up to me, well my sister kinda did, she was the one that let me know not to let them bother me. Anways, my whole life I've been attracted to guys, but I thought something was wrong with me, for a while I decided I was 'bi curious' and dated boys and girls. Well, I never got into the relationships with girls, but took the guys so much more seriously and enjoyed everything so much more. I'm gay, and I've known that for sooo long but about a year and a half ago I came to terms with it. But I don't know how to come out to my family AGAIN... I'm scared of going through all that, and I can imagine it will be worse since i can't "get married and have kids of my own." Which hurts coming from your own dad. Don't get me wrong, my mom and dad are NOT homophobic and are beyond supportive, but they make comments that upset me, and that make me want to pretend to be straight so that I can be everything they want. I know that's wrong but it's the truth. My dad makes comments about wanting to see my kids, wants to see my wife and stuff, and idk if that'll happen. I know i can get married and have kids if I'm gay but I know that's not what he means. My mom makes REALLY homophobic remarks like 'fag' and many other things that do hurt me. She was the first to hear that I was 'bi' and said she will love me even though it's not what she would have chose for me. I told her I loved her and that I'm happy she isn't going to change me or tell me I'm wrong. She's always supported me in EVERY decision i've made and has always defended me. It's just lately she makes really messed up comments about my community. My sister would take it a lot better than anyone else though, she is my best friend and knows everything about me and we are there for eachother when everyone else has turned their back. But even then I don't know if I can trust her with a secret like that, families talk, even when they are asked not to. She would probably only tell her husband but he has a big mouth and I don't want people to change their views on me.
Hell, I'm friends with some of my sisters friends that are 26 and what not, and one of them approached me and talked to me about me being bi and how he's cool with it. But people don't understand that it makes me feel like I have some horrible disease when they say they are cool with what i have and stuff like that. It's good to know they don't judge me, but for them to come to me like that is like saying they are judging. I don't go up to them and say "I'm cool with you being straight." Because that would be awkward and kinda rude right?
Well I'm going to end this rant, idk who's actually going to read everything but I would like some advice. Who do I talk to first? I'm tired of living this life, I have two lives, my life with my friends who know me 100% and my life with my family that only knows small parts of me. I can't keep living this lie, I just need that push, that advice, that motivation to do something about it. So with what I told you, what do you think I should do, who should i come out to in my family first.
Hell, I'm friends with some of my sisters friends that are 26 and what not, and one of them approached me and talked to me about me being bi and how he's cool with it. But people don't understand that it makes me feel like I have some horrible disease when they say they are cool with what i have and stuff like that. It's good to know they don't judge me, but for them to come to me like that is like saying they are judging. I don't go up to them and say "I'm cool with you being straight." Because that would be awkward and kinda rude right?
Well I'm going to end this rant, idk who's actually going to read everything but I would like some advice. Who do I talk to first? I'm tired of living this life, I have two lives, my life with my friends who know me 100% and my life with my family that only knows small parts of me. I can't keep living this lie, I just need that push, that advice, that motivation to do something about it. So with what I told you, what do you think I should do, who should i come out to in my family first.