aperson444
August 26th, 2011, 02:34 AM
So my situation is kind of weird. You gotta know my background to fully see the picture. Back in eighth grade I got caught up in a ring where we were getting very small amounts of weed for a certain group of kids. It was very small, we were getting ripped off. All I did was take the money from the kids and deliver it to the actual dealer. I never picked up the weed. It was the job of the other guy. I wanted no part in the actual transaction. But somehow our entire ring got busted. The guy who hooked us up with everything got away, but most of us got 14 days suspension. So after that, naturally I lost my parents' trust. That summer I got really depressed and I planned an elaborate suicide/homicide. Before I could really carry out my plans, I got psychiatric help and spent some time in a psych ward. Because of that ordeal, my parents confiscated all of my chemicals (my hobby was pyrotechnics and chemistry before all this) as well as some of my equipment. So then came high school.
I never got caught with weed again in high school officially. My parents found some weed one time, then another time they caught me smoking in the bathroom, I even experimented with crystalline JWH018 and JWH250. I tried to convince them that it was indeed therapeutic in my case, but they wouldn't listen. I even convinced my psychiatrist that my sporadic, highly rigid and controlled use was of little concern to my mental health. But in the end I just felt really bad. I felt guilty for all I was putting my parents through this, but I felt that my mental health was truly being improved by my controlled use of cannabis. And indeed my social anxiety slowly disappeared, my negative mental loops began to face logic and I slowly lost my fear of being alive, but at the cost of my parents' trust. So here's the dilemma now. I can't go outside. I can''t go out with any friends, new, known or old. Only some of my "ethnic" friends as in from my own race. If I try to go for a walk or something, they will follow me. They monitor my texts from time to time as well as my chats if they can (which I've made it hard for them to do, as I'm not an idiot). I have very little freedom. They are doing all this to keep me from "bad influences". This is quite understandable. You see, I'm not the kind of guy who you would expect to do this stuff. I'm in science fairs, on a science team. I like challenging courses and abstract thought. But I have a special passion for cannabis as well. Not really using it, but also studying it. I have read papers upon papers about cannabis. I have written essays, engaged in debates, posted on forums and started groups on the topic to study it. My parents think it is an obsession and that I'm "addicted" and need to go to rehab. They don't really know of my current usage, which is about twice or three times a week, focused on the weekends. Everytime something happens, my mom points to my "friend circle". She doesn't seem to acknowledge that I myself am into that circle and I want to be there. All of my friends or associations are of suspicion to her. I guess there's a reason for it, but it IS really irritating.
I guess this is really a vent for me. I'm on vacation here in India, and my mom sees me posting in a thread on drugs, where I wrote that consciousness is an inalienable right (quoting Jefferson and John Locke). My mom flipped and yelled at me, calling my friends scum and pretty much rained down on my entire argument as an excuse. I've tried presenting data, evidence, articles, pictures, essays and the such, but they do not give two shits. So what are your thoughts? Am I just a self centered little douchebag or are my parents being too restrictive?
I never got caught with weed again in high school officially. My parents found some weed one time, then another time they caught me smoking in the bathroom, I even experimented with crystalline JWH018 and JWH250. I tried to convince them that it was indeed therapeutic in my case, but they wouldn't listen. I even convinced my psychiatrist that my sporadic, highly rigid and controlled use was of little concern to my mental health. But in the end I just felt really bad. I felt guilty for all I was putting my parents through this, but I felt that my mental health was truly being improved by my controlled use of cannabis. And indeed my social anxiety slowly disappeared, my negative mental loops began to face logic and I slowly lost my fear of being alive, but at the cost of my parents' trust. So here's the dilemma now. I can't go outside. I can''t go out with any friends, new, known or old. Only some of my "ethnic" friends as in from my own race. If I try to go for a walk or something, they will follow me. They monitor my texts from time to time as well as my chats if they can (which I've made it hard for them to do, as I'm not an idiot). I have very little freedom. They are doing all this to keep me from "bad influences". This is quite understandable. You see, I'm not the kind of guy who you would expect to do this stuff. I'm in science fairs, on a science team. I like challenging courses and abstract thought. But I have a special passion for cannabis as well. Not really using it, but also studying it. I have read papers upon papers about cannabis. I have written essays, engaged in debates, posted on forums and started groups on the topic to study it. My parents think it is an obsession and that I'm "addicted" and need to go to rehab. They don't really know of my current usage, which is about twice or three times a week, focused on the weekends. Everytime something happens, my mom points to my "friend circle". She doesn't seem to acknowledge that I myself am into that circle and I want to be there. All of my friends or associations are of suspicion to her. I guess there's a reason for it, but it IS really irritating.
I guess this is really a vent for me. I'm on vacation here in India, and my mom sees me posting in a thread on drugs, where I wrote that consciousness is an inalienable right (quoting Jefferson and John Locke). My mom flipped and yelled at me, calling my friends scum and pretty much rained down on my entire argument as an excuse. I've tried presenting data, evidence, articles, pictures, essays and the such, but they do not give two shits. So what are your thoughts? Am I just a self centered little douchebag or are my parents being too restrictive?