Memories of abuse...... Im lost

[RakshaMalayka]

Ok, so Ive been having memories coming back to me from when i was little. I finally know why i can remember things from when i was 3 but couldnt remember half the things between the ages of 5 and 7. Well, at the time this guy had visitation rights with me, like i was supposed to be his kid, but i honestly never knew my dad. Now im jus babbling. But anyways, im remembering what happened on those weekends. Im remembering him tying and ductaping me to a chair and watching me struggle out. I remember him laughing as i ripped out clumps of hair getting off the ductape. Worst of all, i remember thinking that was what all kids did with their 'dads'.
I think this counts as abuse, but i dont know what i can do about it. That was years ago and even if i tried telling my mom, theres nothing we could do. And im remembering them in so much detail. Everything from the pain to how i felt at the moment. And now im just lost.......

[Rawrgasm]

is your mum and your dad still together?

cause if they arent i would tell them for sure, but if they are it might cause some issues

[RakshaMalayka]

he wasnt exactly my dad... But they arent together. Im jus worried my mom might say that im lying and that im making this all up

[Aubrie]

Tell your mom. If she doesn't believe you, keep telling her. If she still doesn't, tell someone else. Just keep telling until someone helps. It may help you get some closure if you pursue it.

[Fear]

My dad was a fucking drunk bastard who hanged out at the bar in his work since he worked in a bewrary. I remember the abuse he gave my mom, and the shit he gave me. And, now he saying I should teach my HALF FUCKING BROTHER the stuff he should of taught me. Since he WASN'T THERE. Why should I? I'm so glad I don't see him on weekends anymore. Makes me miserable... and he wonders why I turned out the way i am.

And, yes I do count whjat happened to you as abuse. That is very tragic and we are here for you!

[christcenteredlife]

not to mean, but are known for lying to her? to the point she wouldn't believe this occurred? it was definitely physical abuse it every sense of the word, but there is also no way to prove it. when it comes to proving physical abuse you need marks, not just stories. without something physical in proof, it's he said she said, which is unfortunate for the person who's suffered the abuse. i'd make sure you don't ever have to go see this person again. it sounds like you don't, but if you do, make sure you put a stop to that immediately!

[Fear]

not to mean, but are known for lying to her? to the point she wouldn't believe this occurred? it was definitely physical abuse it every sense of the word, but there is also no way to prove it. when it comes to proving physical abuse you need marks, not just stories. without something physical in proof, it's he said she said, which is unfortunate for the person who's suffered the abuse. i'd make sure you don't ever have to go see this person again. it sounds like you don't, but if you do, make sure you put a stop to that immediately!

I agree.

[RakshaMalayka]

I dont lie to my mom if i can help it, but because of the other problems ive had she thinks i want attention. I dont have to see him anymore, thank god, and we moved recently so that he doesnt drive around all the time now. Ive only got 1 scar from him, but thats almost nonexistant now.
I think i might sit down and try talking to my mom and hope for the best. And thank y'all for helping me through this with both advice and jus by listening. It means a lot to me :)

[christcenteredlife]

good luck. just getting it out will help. i'm sorry there is nothing you can do on a legal level. i'm sure someday he'll get what he deserves.

[RakshaMalayka]

UPDATE: incase you wanted to know. I sat down and told my mom about it. Lets say that room got very emotional. She told me that she was sorry for what happened to me and that she shouldve known because he was abusive to her. We talked for a little while about it and then she told me that i cant keep things like this from her. If i do she cant do anything about it..... Im not sure how i feel now, but im kinda glad i told her