Fuck I'm cutting again.

[Hatsune Miku]

This isn't really asking a question, more of just a release. I have so much shit bottling up and its driving me crazy. I don't care if anybody reads this or not, as long as I put it out there. The girl I've done everything first with broke up with me. First kiss, first girl I've made out with, first girl I've ever cuddled with, first girl I've held hands with, first girl I've done something sexual with. And now she broke up with me. I don't know why because she won't tell me, but she has alot of issues. She has huge trust issues, but she said she trusted me. She said theres things she loves about me, but then theres things she absolutely hates about me. Yesterday we were together and for some reason she thought I was asking her to engage me (were 15 what the fuck?) because I gave her a ring. It was nothing expensive. It was a cheap, $30 little silver thing that said LOVE on it and I put it around a necklace for her to wear. She freaked out and got really pissed at me, but the thing is that was in the beginning of the day. She still did all these things with me like kiss, cuddle, ect. and acted like nothing was wrong. Why couldn't she have asked me what the ring was first instead of jumping to conclusions? I wish I could say I love her on here, but I'll probably get alot of shit, so I'll just say I deeply care about her. I mean shes fucking amazing. When shes not acting like this shes so sweet. She would never cheat because of all the times shes been cheated on. She has type 1 diabetes and it makes me feel like I have more purpose because I can make her happy. She has a horrible home life, and again, it makes me feel like I can actually help her, but no. She just fucking leaves me for no good reasons. I'm so confused and I'm fucking heartbroken.

[Spook]

I think maybe things that have happened in her past make it hard for her to trust somebody...as she implied. If she has been cheated on. maybe she was afraid, and broke up with you because of it. I would suggest that you tell her that you care about her alot. Assure her that you would never cheat on her, make her feel good about herself. If you love something, what do you have to lose? Go after it. And trust me, this isn't worth hurting yourself over. If she found out about that, that would only make her feel worse...maybe even think that it's her fault. I am sure that she is just afraid of commitment after being cheated on or hurt in the past.

[Hatsune Miku]

I've tried telling her how much I care about her. I've written paragraphs and paragraphs about her but she said she doesn't want to be with me.

[Spook]

Then give her some time. She will see that you care. Mabe she just needs some space..time to think

[Hatsune Miku]

This is the 3rd time shes tried breaking up with me but this time shes serious. The things she said to me shes never said before. She blocked all my phone numbers and blocked me from every site there is. I have no way of contacting her.

[Love.Hate]

She may have something going on thats really hard to deal with at home or school? maybe there is a reason behind why she is acting like this. If you love her enough, you will wait. Give her time, let her clear her head. Then try to contact her, talk it out. Tell her you want answers because this is making you feel so bad. I hate being left to guess too, but from the sound of it i dont think its you. So dont worry you have done anything wrong. <3

[Hatsune Miku]

I wish it was that easy Fran. I've tried talking to her about it, calmy. And she was getting so pissed at me. Telling me to fuck off and such. This is the last 2 things we've said to eachother, I haven't spoken to her since.

Her: Because your pissing me off. You don't care at all cause if you did you stop this shit and stop making me want to kill myself cause your making me feel horrible and terrible and hate myself just leave me alone cause every time I try to leave and you pull shit shit I wanna die, I wanna cut, I wanna drink, And I can't stop fucking crying, ALL because of YOU. So PLEASE leave me alone.

Me: How the hell did I do all this? Because I actually fucking cared unlike your exes? I care so fucking much and thats why I do all this, you're taking it the wrong way though! I'm not guilting you, I'm showing you that I fucking care unlike all the other shit fucks that cheated and lied to you. But if you don't want to appreciate that then FINE. I'll leave forever, I'm gone, I'm no longer in your life. If you ever want to come back then feel fucking free to take me back. I know you never will though but I'll wait fucking YEARS if I have to. I love you, but you'll never realize this. Bye.

At this point I was just fucking pissed. I'll let her come to me, if she really loves me then she will.

[Love.Hate]

After reading that i think you both need some time apart, to calm down and think things through. your right, she will come back if she really loves you. But right now, she needs time alone to work things out, what she really wants. She probably hasnt ever been in this situation before so doesnt know what to do in regards to it, nobody knows the answers, but things always have a habit of working themselves out. Dont give up hope in the fact she will come back, because you never know whats around the corner.

[Hatsune Miku]

I doubt she'll come back. Shes done this 3 times but this time she was so serious. Her mom doesn't even like me so we would never be able to see eachother, which is horse shit because her mom doesn't even know me well enough to judge me.

[Love.Hate]

I doubt she'll come back. Shes done this 3 times but this time she was so serious. Her mom doesn't even like me so we would never be able to see eachother, which is horse shit because her mom doesn't even know me well enough to judge me.

Dont let her mother knock you down, if you love the girl and she loves you.. it will work out. Its just going to take a while. if she doesnt come back, dont blame yourself whatever happens.

[Hatsune Miku]

I've told her that, not to let her mother get in between us. She said she didn't care. :/

I just don't know what to do. I'm going to wait but I know she wont come back.

[Love.Hate]

Dont keep telling yourself she wont, live in hope. Or try your best to move on.

:hug:

[Hatsune Miku]

Thank you. :hug: Her friend just messaged me on Facebook saying that "shes never going to fucking take you back."

Hurts.

[Love.Hate]

I can imagine :(

*hugs* it will be okay in the end, just keep positive. If she doesnt take you back, there are plenty more fish in the sea, and there is a whole ocean out there :)

[Hatsune Miku]

I know. :) But it's so hard to find somebody who meets my needs.

[Love.Hate]

Well there is someone out there for everyone :)

You just got to keep trying, until you find the right one

[Hatsune Miku]

The important things I look for is fairly cute. I don't go for "hot" or "sexy." Has alot in common with me, especially music and such. And is still a virgin (the hard one)

[Love.Hate]

Thats not really much to ask, your only 15 so surely almost everyone is a virgin? Infact i dont really know what its like in america. im sure there is someone perfect out there for you :)

[Hatsune Miku]

Well there's alot of 15-17 year olds who aren't virgins over here. :P I hope I find somebody though.

[Love.Hate]

Well there's alot of 15-17 year olds who aren't virgins over here. :P I hope I find somebody though.

Reallly!!!?

well im sure you will, positivity remember :D

[Hatsune Miku]

I'll try and stay positive. It's hard though. :/

[Kaius]

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