Jealousy

[confuseme]

Well you see, I have this best friend that I always hang out with, and we're really close. But, he always gets the girls, and I don't. I'm like super jealous of him, and the 5 girls he's talking to, and I don't know how to stop it! When I'm around him I have to hold in my anger just because I don't want to ruin the friendship, but every time I think about him and all of his girlfriends I want to punch a wall. What can I do to end this jealousy? It's making me more and more depressed every day. :(

[DerBear]

Sorry Will but I am afraid that you have to live with some of these things in life...you cant tell someone to stop just becuase you dont like it...and from your post it seems like he does not rub it in your face.

Since theres not much you can do but ignore it or end the friendship whitch both things are hard

I suggest ignore it...its the best option

[christcenteredlife]

i would suggest talking to your friend about it. that's really all you can do.

[Kujiro]

Jealousy, painful is it not.
Firstly you have to know why are you jealous.

Based on the scene you have displayed, 2 instances came to mind.
1.) Are you jealous because he gets the girls?
2.) Or you are jealous because the girls get his attention more than you?

Understanding where it is coming from would more likely aid us to assist in advise.
But you got to ask yourself these questions.
One would be self inflicted, the other would be due to his actions.

If it's due to his actions, it's good to share it with him, tell him exactly how you feel, a true friend would listen and may adjust to make you feel better, but I would not put my coin on that most of the time.

You have to get used to it and adapt to it. Forgiveness and generosity would be the key to your happiness, look at it in a more positive perspective, instead of letting envy overwhelm you.
Resulting in the lost of everything, tell him how much it means to you.

Good luck
* smile *

[DerBear]

You have to get used to it and adapt to it. Forgiveness and generosity would be the key to your happiness, look at it in a more positive perspective, instead of letting envy overwhelm you.

I just wanted to ask how forgivness and generosity would help in this situation...Can you explain...I just dont fully understand how this would help thats all.

[Kujiro]

I just wanted to ask how forgivness and generosity would help in this situation...Can you explain...I just dont fully understand how this would help thats all.

There are 2 potential assumptions here,
OP has stated he felt jealous that his friend is getting the attention of girls.

But the source of his jealousy could either be
1.) His friend is getting girl's attention
or
2.) Because of the girls, the attention and time spent with him has significantly reduced.
Perhaps he did not text him like he usually does, but he'd rather spend time with the girls he is mixing with.

If the case is going to fall in the 2nd assumption, then would forgiveness and generosity be the key to his happiness?
He has to first be an accepting friend. He may be jealous that his friend may be taken away by the girls hes getting.

Hence the 2 values.
Just a small explaination to my advise, hope it clarifies.
But most importantly he has to identitfy his source of jealousy.
Before we can proceed to advise further.

[DerBear]

There are 2 potential assumptions here,
OP has stated he felt jealous that his friend is getting the attention of girls.

But the source of his jealousy could either be
1.) His friend is getting girl's attention
or
2.) Because of the girls, the attention and time spent with him has significantly reduced.
Perhaps he did not text him like he usually does, but he'd rather spend time with the girls he is mixing with.

If the case is going to fall in the 2nd assumption, then would forgiveness and generosity be the key to his happiness?
He has to first be an accepting friend. He may be jealous that his friend may be taken away by the girls hes getting.

Hence the 2 values.
Just a small explaination to my advise, hope it clarifies.
But most importantly he has to identitfy his source of jealousy.
Before we can proceed to advise further.

Thanks!! I was not being rude by saying I dont understand I just really did wonder that was all

[Kujiro]

Thanks!! I was not being rude by saying I dont understand I just really did wonder that was all

No issue at all, its my honour to clarify anything ive said to clear up any confusion.
OP may be confused if it was not explain as well.

But i hope it helps, ultimately it depends on him.

*smile*

[Julien7]

I used to have the same however the thing is that its not always like it seems, it might also be show, if you maybe try your best you might be able to do xtly the same :)

[confuseme]

There are 2 potential assumptions here,
OP has stated he felt jealous that his friend is getting the attention of girls.

But the source of his jealousy could either be
1.) His friend is getting girl's attention
or
2.) Because of the girls, the attention and time spent with him has significantly reduced.
Perhaps he did not text him like he usually does, but he'd rather spend time with the girls he is mixing with.

If the case is going to fall in the 2nd assumption, then would forgiveness and generosity be the key to his happiness?
He has to first be an accepting friend. He may be jealous that his friend may be taken away by the girls hes getting.

Hence the 2 values.
Just a small explaination to my advise, hope it clarifies.
But most importantly he has to identitfy his source of jealousy.
Before we can proceed to advise further.

To answer this question, I am jealous of the fact that he is getting the girls, and I'm not. I feel left out, and like, i'm "below" him. (if that makes any sense)

[Kujiro]

To answer this question, I am jealous of the fact that he is getting the girls, and I'm not. I feel left out, and like, i'm "below" him. (if that makes any sense)

Now that we are clear where you are coming from.
If you feel jealous because you are below him, in other words, inferiority complex.
the only thing you can do about it would be to raise yourself.

Talking to him about this jealousy would not really help, as this is the way he is, and it would be unfair if he is to change to adjust to it.
Life is no fair, get used to it, and most importantly learning from it.

Sometimes, its the way you approach people, it comes down to chrisma, and it would definately help if you are street smart and knowing how to adjust to the situation. In other words a high EQ.

You can start by observing him and learning the way he approaches people, the way he talks, the body language, his responses.
Im not indicating to mimic, but to learn and understand how social engineering works.

With all that, you too would need to boost up your self esteem and confidence.
In time to come, you would definately make a few good friends and im sure there will be girls as well.

Good luck
*smile*

[DerBear]

To answer this question, I am jealous of the fact that he is getting the girls, and I'm not. I feel left out, and like, i'm "below" him. (if that makes any sense)

Well now that you have told us the source of your jealousy, We can solve it or try to help.

What you need to do is think and think hard about why you care that he gets all the gilrs. You cant tell your friend to stop being who he is just because you feel like your left out. You need to think about all the positives.

Having girls thrown at you means very little to a lot of people anyway.

You need to take a deep breath and move on or this jealousy will consume you.

Think, you have years to find someone to love and care for.

Also think those girls probably dont really like him for him they probably like him for petty reasons like looks or money.

Go out and live your life.