Medication?

[Punk_Kid]

I haven't been on for a while. I think I poked my head in a couple days ago but I'm gonna be on here more often. Anyway, here I go: My girlfriend of 7 months said she needed a "break" over text a couple of days ago. I had a slightly abusive relationship with the girl before her(was hit in the testicles daily, also choked and punched on a couple of occasions) and so B, let's call her that(first letter of her name) seemed like exactly whi I needed to hopefully set me straight. She is my best friend's cousin and lives in CT so it was a long distance relationship but I was still grateful. I told her that I have depression and that I had cut before but she still accepted me.

Now more recent, I don't know what it is but my depression has gotten worse in the last couple months and so has my ups/downs which leaves me to wonder if I am indeed bi-polar :what: . Ever since she said she needed a "break", I've been much more violent(in thought only so far), have eaten a bit less than I already eat, I cut last night on my right middle knuckle which I was 8 months clean and I've been trying to busy myself every second so I don't have time to think about a lot of stuff.

I really do believe tat I need medication but I asked my Mom about it wen I told her I used to cut a while back and she said no. I don't want to tell her that I day dream about murdering my brother, think about all the ways I could kill myself and this daily emotional ordeal that has become my life. If anyone here is experienced with the different medications a good explanantion would be much appreciated.

I usually dont turn to pharmaceutical drugs (not even aspirin or tylenol usually) but I just dont want to lose it and do something I'll really regret. Ad if you do read all the way through this, I appreciate it.

[bambino]

I've been on citralopram. On and off. I think its called Celexa in the USA.
found it very helpful, its a SSRI, which means its an antidepressant and increases serotonin production to help lift your mood. It also alleviates symptoms of OCD, so obsessive compulsions.
There are however side effects to the medication. I'd still reccomend it as it really helped me when I was depressed.
Hope this helped, ask if you need more info

[fenrirdies]

I have been taking abilify for 10 days less killing thoughts that is about it.

[Punk_Kid]

@ Cat: Thanks, I'll have to google that and see what all comes up. I know that they work differently for each person but I figured I would ask.

@ Jamani: Thanks, my friend recommended that one cuz shes heard its good.

[aperson444]

I've been on Zoloft for about 6 months and I was on Prozac for 6 months before that. Talk to a psychiatrist. Violent impulses are harder to work around when it comes to meds, because some of them can agitate you (Paxil and especially Zoloft). Most antidepressants (first line) are SSRIs. They tend to totally numb you out to emotions for a while and create a real danger zone. I was given my first SSRI (Prozac) in a psych ward. I didn't stop cutting nor did I stop with my suicidal ideation, but I did sort of feel more calm and less anxious. Just my experience. Zoloft has been better, it makes me a bit more speedy and agitated, but I started using an additional substance (illicit, and I won't talk much about its identity) and it really sped up my recovery. More of a catalyst for my recovery than the actual cause of my recovery. Haven't had a serious suicidal thought or homicidal intent for months now. That's my experience.

[Punk_Kid]

Thanks Richik:D If anyone knows how I can get them without my Mom knowing ten please tell me cuz in the meantime I will google it.

[aperson444]

Psychiatrists are obliged to keep information confidential. If you can get psychiatric help, tell them you want to break it to your mom later. Get the script, and rush to the pharmacy. Make sure you have health insurance. I'm sure they'll bill your parents at some point, but they will find out eventually. If they flip on you, tell them to talk with your psychiatrist. Many hospitals have psychiatrists. Your school counselor/psychologist may be able to refer you to one. Hospitals usually can't turn down urgent help. You could also do the same thing with health insurance, just bring your card. Don't try getting meds on the black market. Adjusting doses depends on your weight and mental state. It's best to tell your mom that you're having some morbid thoughts and you need help. If she refuses to get you help, then call child protective services. That's a horrible thing to do.

[Punk_Kid]

So I would need my Medicare card or whatever tight? I believe thats in her wallet usually. What would I need if I went to my general doctor?