Thanatos
August 22nd, 2011, 10:15 PM
Now I know I'm going to get the whole, don't keep your emotions bottled up speech blah blah blah, but I just felt a need to say this, to write /type it somewhere for someone to read. Almost everyone who knows me thinks I am a Cold-Hearted, Unemotional Bastard. I have no moral qualms about anything, I don't show any hint of sadness or anger or depression. The only time people see what I'm feeling is when I laugh, which I do a lot.
It got to the point where Kelsey, the dog I've had since I was 3, died last year and when my parents came home to tell me they put her down it didn't even phase me in the slightest. My mom was a wreck, my sister was bawling, even my dad was shaken up, but I just went "Oh" and moved on with what I was doing.
One of my classmates from Kindergarten-8th grade died of cancer 2 years ago and I felt absolutely nothing. A kid I played hockey with for years' older sister died, another kids dad died, nothing every time.
Anyways the unemotional part takes its toll. I have Sleep Apnea, and late at night when Im sitting around doing nothing, all the emotions seem to come bearing down on me. I don't cry or scream or anything, but I just feel the weight of them inside me.
I don't even know why I'm writing this, none of you can help me with it, I don't even really need help with anything, I just felt a need to write it after reading through some threads.
Anyways, If you read this sorry to waste your time with something thats not a sob story or begging for your help.
It got to the point where Kelsey, the dog I've had since I was 3, died last year and when my parents came home to tell me they put her down it didn't even phase me in the slightest. My mom was a wreck, my sister was bawling, even my dad was shaken up, but I just went "Oh" and moved on with what I was doing.
One of my classmates from Kindergarten-8th grade died of cancer 2 years ago and I felt absolutely nothing. A kid I played hockey with for years' older sister died, another kids dad died, nothing every time.
Anyways the unemotional part takes its toll. I have Sleep Apnea, and late at night when Im sitting around doing nothing, all the emotions seem to come bearing down on me. I don't cry or scream or anything, but I just feel the weight of them inside me.
I don't even know why I'm writing this, none of you can help me with it, I don't even really need help with anything, I just felt a need to write it after reading through some threads.
Anyways, If you read this sorry to waste your time with something thats not a sob story or begging for your help.