High anxiety and cutting.

[Bath]

When I started cutting, it was mostly because I was just sad. Now I do it mostly because of anxiety attacks, and I can't stand it. Breathing techniques help only half the time, the other times... I really can't stand it anymore, and that's the only guarantee way of numbing myself.

Like, last night. Spencer (my boyfriend) was supposed to fly into Orlando around 8pm, but he didn't text me until around 11:15pm because his flight was delayed. Around 10:30pm I had cut because I was just panicking and thinking so many "what if"s. I finished and saw a missed call from him. It killed me.

And now I feel like cutting again because he's not texting me back again. I'm freaking out over that. I wouldn't usually, but I know he's in Orlando and I don't know what's going on. This is my only means of communication with him right now, other than me calling the hotel, but I think my dad is on the line with his dad right now.. I don't know. Ugh I'm sorry.

I get to see him Thursday, and I'm driving up to Orlando Wednesday. I just cannot wait for that.

If tl;dr: Basically, I've been cutting a lot recently over anxiety over little things and it's making me feel like a cunt.

[derkderpderp]

Ok you're not a cunt, you're far from it, you're just worried, naturally so, your boyfriend is in another place and if something happened to him you would want to know straight away, but obviously the distance poses a problem. Talk it out, any little things that make you feel anxious, or make you feel like cutting is the only way out, just talk it out, to whomever you can talk to, it could be someone on here, or a friend, or even your boyfriend. Talk each little anxiety out, you might feel a little stupid talking about them, but it will bring the situation to the eyes and ears of those it will affect, and they will more than likely help you see that there is in fact nothing to worry about? eek sorry if this didnt help at all.