Need to tell someone...

[AppealToReason]

Sorry for another thread, but I really need to tell someone in real life about my drug use. I don't think I can hold it in anymore. I'm tired of people thinking I'm just lazy. I'm tired of my teacher being disappointed that I don't show up to practice. I need to tell someone or I'm going to go crazy.
I can't tell my family yet, it would devastate them that the "strong" one was incredibly weak. I really want to tell my band teacher because I've known her for years and trust her. Is it illegal for them to know about a student abusing drugs and not telling their parents? I want her to know, but I don't want her to get in trouble or rat me out.
I don't know, I'm talking crazy. My head feels like it's going to pop...I just want someone to know...

Also, a little random, but a teacher said the whole " Your problems aren't bad, kids in Africa don't even have food! Stop complaining". This upsets me to no end. This is why I worry about telling someone...I can't handle someone acting like this towards me again...

[christcenteredlife]

if you don't mind my asking, what are you on? also, i don't know your area laws if you are in the US, but you can google it and find out if they'd have to report, which i believe they'd have to unless, it would bring harm to you. i'm not real sure on that, so like i said, i'd google the topic and take a look.

next, i'd start looking into programs that can help you. if you are seriously addicted, you will most liking need an inpatient rehab opposed to outpatient or doing it on your own. i was born a drug baby, addicted to heroin and meth. currently i take methadone on occasion to help me with breakthrough issue's i'm having. so be prepared for a tough road, but know you have the ability to overcome. make sure you have a great support team behind you!

[AppealToReason]

Nothing as bad as meth.
Right now it's mainly any pain killers. Of course, some would count cigarettes as an addiction, but I don't think it's as serious.
I know pain killers aren't the worst addiction to have, but it hurt not taking them in school today. I broke down and took some in the bathroom.

[christcenteredlife]

what kind of painkillers?

[AppealToReason]

Whatever is in the cabinet, mainly hydrocodone and oxycodone.

[christcenteredlife]

how much are taking a day?

[AppealToReason]

I don't know, I don't count anymore.

[christcenteredlife]

well, the most common dose of oxycodone is 5/325, then 10/500, not that that matters, but not sure what mg of hydro you're taking. the oxy can really hurt your liver, so you need to watch what you're doing.

[AppealToReason]

Oh, you meant dosage.
The oxy is 5/350. Hydro is 5/500.
Yea, I know they can mess up your liver especially if you take them with alcohol. I stopped that before it got worse...

[christcenteredlife]

depending on how much you are taking daily, you'll need inpatient, but most likely, you'll need some outpatient therapy and you'll be fine. obviously you take more than what's in the cabinet because you'd run out sooner than later, and in the US, doctor MUST write triplicate prescriptions for oxy. not for vicodin or hydo though. getting triplicates isn't exactly easy.

[AppealToReason]

I can't go to treatment now, not when school just started.
I don't think I'm too bad yet. I don't know, maybe it's just the fear talking.

[christcenteredlife]

you can continue school in treatment and continue back at your normal school when completed. and if you attend outpatient you'll never have to leave school at all. if you don't think it's that bad, then just stop.

[Amaryllis]

Oh god, I understand what you mean by the africa thing. A friend of mine saw me on VT and she looked at the psych ward forums and said "OMG what the f**k is wrong with these people? I want to die? I hate my life? I cut myself? Wth! People in Africa have nothing and they have everything!" Holy shiz... Gosh.

You should tell someone, angel. If you trust your band teacher, tell her. But make her promise not to tell anyone first. But it's your choice. But you can't do it on your own. No one is expecting you to. You don't have to be "strong" all the time. Strength is not in never falling, but getting up every time you fall.

You know you can talk to me, Michael. I'm just a world I mean message away haha...

Love,
Faith and Trust

EDIT: Oh and hun. I understand that you can't go to treatment. I missed more than half of the first half of the school year because I was too sick to go. I was hospitalised and I had to see hypnotherapists and stuff. They're expensive as well. But I don't know... Maybe you need to see someone, Michael.

[christcenteredlife]

i wish people didn't compare our worlds and problems. i understand what they mean, however, addiction is addiction. it needs to be dealt with regardless. i believe you can overcome your addiction.

what i do, is count minutes, not days. i have minutes clean. then, in due time, i end up having months and years. like i mentioned before, i'm still on breakthrough medication though.

[itsthat0n3kid]

hey man. my best friend went through the same thing as you. he took bottles and bottles of oxycodone because he felt it was an escape. i didnt know this until about a month ago. 2 days later, i get a call saying he passed away. ive been in so much pain since his death. he was my best friend. it feels like just yesterday we were playing tag at recess in 1st grade. i dont want this to happen to you. the reason my best friend died is because he wouldnt accept he had a problem. his death could have been avoided. please. please just get help. asap. i dont want another death over a stupid drug. message me if you need someone to talk to.