I guess its nearly 2 months...

[LoveMe_HateMe]

I think it's been nearly 2 months since I've last cut and about 1 week since I've self harmed. I don't know, I don't keep track of when I last did things - there's no point. I know I'll relapse eventually.

This has been the longest I've stopped though. Not sure how long it will last. The past couple of days have been horrible. My thigh and wrist keep tingling, burning. I just need to do it... But, I know I can't. My hands keep shaking. Keep having suicidal thoughts. Keep having a really short temper and getting angry really quick - not like me usually really calm. Keep having, I don't know what they are, I suppose they're slight panic attacks. I don't know. I'm always on edge. Hardly have a real smile on my face these days. I'm always faking it. Always. I don't even know when I'm faking it and when I'm not. Just going in a downward spiral.

Girlfriend wants me to the doctors with depression and get it sorted... but I don't want to... because it will lead to either psychiatrist or meds. I don't want that.

Wherever I look, whatever I do I see something that kicks off the urges.

Eh, pointless post.

[FuzzyLittleNightmare]

It's not a pointless post, sometimes it helps just to write these things down and vent.

Congratulations on stopping so long, it is a real achievement! I can never go more than a couple of days. Try and stay focused on that as much as possible.

Stay strong :hug3:

[christcenteredlife]

congrats! huge accomplishment! however, i though cutting and self harm were the same thing? can someone clear that up for me?

and again, congrats, that really is a big deal in your life. keep it up!

[FuzzyLittleNightmare]

congrats! huge accomplishment! however, i though cutting and self harm were the same thing? can someone clear that up for me?

and again, congrats, that really is a big deal in your life. keep it up!

People self harm in different ways, not just cutting. Such as, burning, biting, hitting yourself to cause bruising, pulling hair out, breaking bones. Cutting is just the most common form of self harm

[LoveMe_HateMe]

To be honest, with everything else it doesn't feel like much of an accomplishment. When I do, do it makes me feel like I'm in control... I crave that control, I hate feeling like I'm not in control... I know with somethings I know that I can't be in control with but that's one of the things that makes me feel in control...

[christcenteredlife]

People self harm in different ways, not just cutting. Such as, burning, biting, hitting yourself to cause bruising, pulling hair out, breaking bones. Cutting is just the most common form of self harm

thank you