HELP :.( dont know what to do

[Travis Is Losing It]

Ok so i know its not long but me and my girlfriend have been together 3 weeks (yah i know that doesnt really have to do with this) but shes terminally ill and is in and out of the hospital every day with a hole in her stomach both failing kidneys and she has a pacemaker. She has serious anxiety which if anything upsets her litteraly she starts puking blood and gets even worse. we keep fighting because i dont know how to handle it emotionaly its all so confusing. All in all with all the fighting i dont feel like its a good relationship but shes seriously attached to me and im scared she could get alot worse or even die if i break up with her :/ what should i do.

[anonymous53]

Be there for her, you might be scared, but the best thing you can do is comfort her and support her. Stroke her hair when she's feeling sick etc. A little comfort goes a long way.

[Travis Is Losing It]

But all we do is fight there isnt even a chance for that

[anonymous53]

Then let her win the fights and try to comfort her

[Travis Is Losing It]

:/ i guess thank you

[Dylan79831]

stay with if u like her and all

[Travis Is Losing It]

thx dylan

[RockinRobyn]

All you can really do is be there for her it must be horrible having to go through all that but having her boyfriend there would mean the world to her. Just comfort her an try to make her feel better be nice and just all around comforting she might feel better at least emotionally knowing that you care about her. :)

[christcenteredlife]

i'm not trying to be too personal here, but what are the arguments about? maybe we can help you better if we have a better idea of what's actually bothering her. the girl my foster brother is courting, she was arguing with him non-stop for awhile, then he realized what he was doing. maybe we can help you realize what you're doing, if anything. also, i has a very injury once, and my meds made me very, well, not myself. i was very argumetitive and my whole personality was different. try to remember, some of this may not be her fault, or, your fault, but the effects of medications.

[Travis Is Losing It]

Shes way to hard on herself just like every other girl on earth (no offense u girls are to hard on yourselves) and ill admit it im slightly addicted to porn. We made a deal because she felt like every time i watched porn she didnt feel good enough for me. She is only 15 and shes legit an alcoholic which is HORRIBLE for her stomach. we agreed that if she drinks a beer i get to watch porn if i watch porn she gets a beer. All in all i watched porn and i just cant lie so i had to tell her and we fought over that she had a beer and got rushed to the emergancy room cause she started puking up blood....

[christcenteredlife]

why aren't her parents watching her? if this is happening she needs to be in the hospital. that is an indirect suicide attempt and she can be put in a 72 hour hold, granted you are in USA. making deal like that are never good and luckily, since she's a legit alcoholic as you put it, her liver is still in tact, that usually goes first.

you may want to talk to her about how this deal isn't working. you can't have her losing her life over your watching porn. it's not worth the emotional toll of either of you. if i were her parents, i'd have you out of the picture anyway. if these problems and issues were a result of your friendship. being as sick as you say she is, her body can't handle all this. maybe it's time you walk away for her sake.

[Travis Is Losing It]

The issues devoloped not from me. but any stress makes them worse. And i can't just break the deal we had set up. she has enough trust issues with me. honestly i would end it right now to remove more stress but im worried that it may just be to much for her at once. and her parents dont give a shit about her. she got rushed to the hospital after her pacemaker malfunctioned for some god knows why reason and her parents left her there after she was released and her best friend had to go pick her up 6 hours later because they didnt want to make her sister miss some shit. they dont pay attention to anything she does

[christcenteredlife]

is this person under 18 and living in the USA? if she is, then the hospital would call CPS.

[Travis Is Losing It]

Shes 15 living in the usa and apparently they didnt cause im a witness to her being at the hospital for 6 hours after her parents "couldnt reach her at the hospital"

[christcenteredlife]

well here's the deal, at that age, only your parents or someone they've given right to can take you from the hospital. at 16, it's different, but not 15. they are neglecting her and the hospital should be calling CPS especially if she is going in there continually with alcohol in her system. if no one is helping her, maybe you should. call CPS, or have your parents call and let them know the situation. they should be able to help. they can probably get her in a more healthy, caring home where she'll be loved and taken care of.

[Travis Is Losing It]

:/ i guess... if there are no more posts from me anymore i probably got assassinated by her x.x

[christcenteredlife]

you should probably just break up. for the health and sanity of you both. in the end you are causing her mental strain if all you do is argue. it's not good for you either. you can't be a solid person for her if she's always cutting you down over things you are working on in your own life.

[pinkplaint]

Then let her win the fights and try to comfort her

[Dack]

Dont listen to those saying break up;'they have no idea what she is going through. All I can say to you is just to be there for her, stand by her side, let her know you care. Don't try to argue with her because it will only make her condition worse. If you watch porn, don't tell her for the simple fact that next time, it might kill her. Listen to what she has to say, maybe you'll learn why her parents neglect her and leave her at the hospital. Next time before she's released, ask to speak to a nurse and tell them the situation, maybe they will see she is not in any condition to leave especially with her parents not being there for her.

[Travis Is Losing It]

Honestly i think cailean has helped the most with this. Hes right saying that i you guys pretty much cant understand what shes going through over a forum. My girlfriend is litteraly dying and they dont think shes going to make it through her kidney transplant soon. Any form of stress makers her puke blood which causes more stomach issues. Breaking up with her could be devistating to her because somehow she is so attached to me. it doesnt bother me that she is because somehow every girl ive been with gets attached like that.

And we had a long conversation today that if either of us feel even a small fight starting that we will tell each other thats what we feel and we will both stop talking for a little bit untill things are calm then without fighting explain why we were getting upset.

And cailean i'm the kind of person that honestly doesnt lie in relationships about anything. Since we agreed on i watch porn she gets a beer and vise versa she absolutely refuses to drink now. without that agreement she still would be, i know shes not lieing to me either because i can see it in her eyes. I cant lie to her and say no baby i didnt watch any today even when i know i did when shes not lieing to me.

But today we had a small litte fight i guess you would call it but it was more like a very upsetting deep conversation about why she feels horrible when i watch it and how it made her feel. we didnt argue or go back and forth screaming at each other instead we managed to talk it out without hurting each others emotions