Completely screwed my body over...

[Magenta]

Can't even stand to look at this post.

Mods, please lock it.

[Alexithymia]

I'm proud of you Jo. You need to do this. Remember what I said on Skype! *hug* I'll be here whenever you need me, all right? Stay strong.

[Magenta]

....

[anonymous53]

I'm glad you made this decision:) and proud of you Jo :) You'll be able to do it ^.^

[bambino]

so proud of you Nauthaugyn, I think its the best decision
like you said you really need energy and to be healthy to pursue dancing
dont give up on the dream, fight your ED for the sake of something much bigger- your happiness (:
stay strong beautiful

[Magenta]

....

[Amaryllis]

Honey, recovery isn't about "looking good" or having the best body. It's not about having muscles and looking good. I said that twice. Recovery is about -getting on with your life-. It's about letting food become food. It's about letting go and being okay with the way you look. It's about saying "to hell with it" to dieting, calorie counting, stepping on the scale and exercise. I'm not saying you -shouldn't- exercise or eat healthy but don't let it take a chunk out of your life.

Recovery is saying "I don't feel like it today so I just won't exercise". It's about eating a piece of cake and thinking "This cake is yummy" and moving on with your life. It's about looking in the mirror and saying "That's me" and turning away. It's about loving yourself.

I'm getting to the point when calories don't run my life. Sure, sometime I look at something and thing "This has 400 calories in it" and look at something else and say "This has 100" but I go for the 400 calorie thing anyway because heck, I don't give a damn. I'm sick and tired of letting this eating disorder run my life. I'm tired of letting my looks dictate the things I feel I can do and the way I feel. This obsession with food is not worth whatever amount of weight loss.

People love me. Not everyone but some. And one's all I need. True, I don't have killer abs or serious muscles. My hair's a wreck because of the crap I've done to myself. I'm afraid of exercising. I don't like my nose. But it doesn't matter. Because no amount of beauty is worth the hell you must go through to get it.

I'm proud of you, Jo. Anorexia is not the answer. Skinny is not worth the consequences. Control is not worth the chaos.

I didn't ask for this life so this is not the life I will live.

Love,
Faith and Trust

[Magenta]

....

[Amaryllis]

I understand what you mean, Jo. I had a -great- body before. No idea why I wanted to change that. I was so beautiful. Now I screwed me up. Ah well, I have lots of years to go ;P We'll all get there some day.

[Magenta]

....

[Amaryllis]

That's the Jo we love :) Keep it up. You can do this <3

[Magenta]

Thanks, Z. <3

[Love.Hate]

:hug:

I'm proud of you. Keep strong sweetie, I'm glad you have made the descision to eat more, get fit and healthy :)

One day you can come over here and show me your dance skills :P I really hope it all works out perfectly for you!

[FuzzyLittleNightmare]

Congratulations on making the choice to really get better :)

I know how you feel about the dance. That was what made me first realise there was something wrong. I never enjoyed food so would skip meals without thinking about it and people would just joke that I must be anorexic because I was so thin, but I didn't think I was. But during a dance class we were doing floor work and I was in pain because my shoulder blades and hips were so pronounced they were getting bruised when hitting the floor. I knew that wasn't healthy.
So, I got my dance teacher to give me pictures of curvier dancers and I have them selotaped to my bedroom mirror. It's surprising how much that helps!

Good Luck!

[Magenta]

...well, two days of shaky resolve later and I've crashed again. Just thought I'd tell you guys.

*shrugs*

It's not worthy of a new thread.

[Skyhawk]

:hug:
:hug:
:hug:
Just keep trying. :)

[Amaryllis]

Jo, you are -always- worthy. I would read every single thread even if you posted one everyday. Pick yourself up. Keep going. Don't give up.

[Donkey]

OP request lock. :locked2: