Help Please

[blackout123123]

Hello guys. I don't usually post many threads around here. But I find myself in need of help/advise.

About 5 months ago, my parents had major conflicts with each other, they almost ended up leaving. But by the end, my mom found refuge in getting back in touch with her religious side. We never were a very devout family, but after that, we ended up going to church more often, her becoming more religious as time went by.
Now before this, I would have been more comfortable telling her that I am bisexual, but after she starting suspecting she keeps insisting that I can only be gay or straight. She has gone through my phone countless times and tries to keep me away from some of my friends, who she thinks are "bad influences" even though they are not and trying to change my way of dressing. She thinks I am just overly confused, and at one point even tried getting me into therapy for it. She tells me how I can not know that I am truly 'gay' (since she insists im not bi) until I give myself the chance to be with a girl. (i lean towards guys) And to be prepare to "get aids" as it is mainly in "gays".
What should I do, Im tired of this, helop

[Dimitri]

I think you need to go to the therapy, hear me out first, go to the therapy and then explain to the counselor what is happening and that you are bi and then explain that your mother will not beleife you.

Then use the counselor to explain your bisexuality to your mother. Maybe she will take it from the counselor with your aid.

[Princesskay]

I think you should explain to your mom how u feel and tell her that YOU ARE THIS PERSON and she needs to stop tryna change it. And, that she should still LOVE you no matter if your gay, straight, bi, or lesbian. So just dont be afraid to tell her how you feel and yea maybe you should take therapy so that you can have back up when you tell your mom. :)

[blackout123123]

Well, thank you guys for your opinions :) Unfortunately it seems that therapy is out of the question now, my mom decided not to, but still holds to her beliefs. She was telling me how if I did end up being gay, I should be prepared to take on discrimination and aids. I just keep explaining to her that that will not all happen for sure. ><
Another thing that frustrates me is that before all this happened, twice she had already talked to me about my orientation, and that she would be accepting of anything. I know she still loves me, but its so tiring for me to hear her talk to me this way.

[Dimitri]

That has to be hard, being told one thing and then a figure who then contradictas themself. I think it has come to the point when you need to try and just sit down and talk to her. Sit down with a cup of tea.

[christcenteredlife]

I think you need to go to the therapy, hear me out first, go to the therapy and then explain to the counselor what is happening and that you are bi and then explain that your mother will not beleife you.

Then use the counselor to explain your bisexuality to your mother. Maybe she will take it from the counselor with your aid.

good adive

[tyler007]

I think that maybe you should ask your mom, if she well accept it if you are gay, but tell her you want to label your self bi until you have had a chance to try both, (you said you are leaning towards boys). And that you are already facing discrimination from her.

But as a BI guy i tell its really hard too, some girls think your to gay to go out with, and gay boys think your to scared to finish coming out of the closet, and a few people like your good friends well help you out and support you.

Best of luck

[nameless12]

i think you should just try to convince her to let you be who you are, she says you need to be prepared for people who wont accept you but she already is kinda like that.
just have that mother to son talk and everything should be fine :)

[Kujiro]

Its a good idea to use the councillor to be a mediator, As you sure that your are not in the confused state, the councillor would be able to spell it out to your mother how you are really feeling inside. Tell the councillor the problem is not in your sexuality, but rather in communication.

Its true that religon is touchy about certain issues as of such, but you too have to understand she found refuge and solace in believing, it saved her family.
In turn she would trust wholeheartly.

Getting aids is not resident mainly in gays, its very common among heterosexual as well. It was a common misunderstanding that aids is a "gay" thing.
And that has sadly snowballed to the misconception we have today.
Morever its a pretty good excuse for parents to scare their children from such inclination.

But with the modern technology and the internet, there is more we can learn that hearing it just from others. As and when an opinion comes from people, it tends to contain a certain level of biasedness, gather from multiple sources and come to your own conclusion.
There plenty of good resources, journals, documentations, research notes, which does help you in fact finding.

Best of luck
*smile*

[christcenteredlife]

i'm truly sorry if religion is going to come between you and your mom over your sexuality. i am a christian myself and completely Bible believing. i personally believe homosexuality is wrong, for me. it's a conviction that's been placed on me, and it's not my job to convict anyone else.

maybe that's how you can approach your mom. let her know you respect her and her beliefs, but to this point, you haven't been convicted you are doing anything wrong. if she refutes, tell her it's not her job to convict you or lead you. this may lead to problems, and that's not what i'm wanting for you, but it also a truth within religion. if she is following the christian faith, it is the job of the holy spirit to convict, not the human.

anyway, good luck. and i'm sorry you are going through this. if it means anything, i will be thinking of you and your situation and hoping for the best outcome possible!

[Wakesetter03]

You need to sit down and be strict with her. It's YOUR life, and you are you.
She can not change that and she needs to understand that. Sometimes you need to be strict with the ones you love.
Good luck!

[blackout123123]

Thank you all guys for your responses :) I truly appreciate them. I will try and sit down with her when I can and talk to her about what you guys have told me. Hopefully she will understand. Once again, thank you all =)