Jar of Stars - Reward Yourself

[Amaryllis]

It's sort of like a Non self-harm calendar. If you do something good for yourself, post it on here. Example:

"I ate all my meals today! Star for me!"
"Today I didn't exercise. Star!"
"I didn't weigh myself today. Another star!"

Just keep going. There's no 0. You -never- fall back to 0. There's no 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. You don't have to count the steps. You just have to keep going up. Keep going up and one day you won't need your stars anymore. You deserve a hug, you deserve love from -yourself-. You're doing better than you think.

If you made a step towards or in recovery, give yourself a star. If you gave yourself a break or bought something for yourself, give yourself a star. If you ate one extra spoonful of food today, give yourself a star. If you ate a piece of cake, give yourself a star. If you didn't purge, give yourself a star. If you didn't count calories, give yourself a star. If you looked in the mirror and gave yourself a hug, give yourself a star.

So, girls and boys, start collecting your stars and put it in a jar and one day you'll find that you don't need it anymore.

Remember: All you need is Faith, Trust and Pixie dust. And the Pixie Dust is you.

Love,
Faith and Trust

[bambino]

I think this is a great idea, thanks honey (:
keep up the positive thinking! hope youre well

[Amaryllis]

I think this is a great idea, thanks honey (:
keep up the positive thinking! hope youre well

No probs, Amber. I hope you're doing alright. I'm okay. I just ate -way- too much and now I feel really sick. But I haven't eaten this much in a while so... It's okay. I'll start over tomorrow.

[Love.Hate]

This Is a lovely idea, good one Z <3

:hug:

I hope you manage to fully beat this one day, all of you :)

[Amaryllis]

This Is a lovely idea, good one Z <3

:hug:

I hope you manage to fully beat this one day, all of you :)

We will. You will, too. Remember, you have only 2 choices. Death or recovery. And we chose recovery :)

[AppealToReason]

Whooo, ate breakfast.
+1 star, lol.

[Amaryllis]

Whooo, ate breakfast.
+1 star, lol.

You do deserve a star for that ;P Yay <3 I'm happy

[FuzzyLittleNightmare]

Didn't weigh myself this morning even though the scales were right there!

1 star for me :)

[Amaryllis]

Well done :) proud of you. Baby steps. One day you won't need them.

I haven't counted calories in a -long- time.

[Travis Is Losing It]

Wow Z this is actually a brilliant idea that im actually going to do and not just with my ED but with every other issue i deal with :)

[Amaryllis]

Wow Z this is actually a brilliant idea that im actually going to do and not just with my ED but with every other issue i deal with :)

I'm glad you think so. I hope it helps you. I truly do ^^ Good look, hun <3 I'm here if you need me.

[Lethe]

I'm not exactly suffering from an eating disorder, but I do think I'll improve my system of rewards for doing good things. Whenever I do something good for myself I normally reward myself with a hot bath, a nap, a mini candy bar, etc. I also reward myself for not going over my calorie limit sometimes, although that varies.

[Amaryllis]

Please don't promote pro-ana here. None of us need that. I'm sorry, Dee but I don't want anyone to think they should be rewarded for not going over their calorie limit. Hell, they shouldn't be counting calories anyway. I'm not trying to be mean but please.

Reward yourself for going -over- your "calorie limit". For not having a friggin calorie limit. For not caring about the calories. For not even counting the calories. Reward yourself for taking a step towards freedom. Not for adding another chain to your ankle.

Good luck, Dee.

Love,
Faith and Trust

[Lethe]

...having a calorie limit doesn't promote anorexia. My calorie limit keeps me from eating too many calories and becoming overweight. A limit isn't always a bad thing. It's healthy to have a goal you set for yourself that's reasonable and achievable. If I was saying I rewarded myself for 300 calories a day then yes, I would be promoting anorexia. But a limit of 1200 a day is definitely not promoting anorexia.

[Amaryllis]

A lot of these girls and guys need to -gain- weight, Dee. And do you really want to calorie count for -the rest of your life-? I was obsessed with it. I counted calories like it was a goddamn religion. I watched the food channel like it was bloody porn. And I read calorie counter books like they were bibles.

This isn't the life you want.

[Lethe]

I monitor my calories on Livestrong once a day. It doesn't consume my life. I'm mindful of what I eat, but I'm not obsessing over it. You can monitor your calories without be obsessed about it. I'm not letting it control my life; sometimes you simply have to do things like that to keep yourself healthy. I'd rather count calories than gain weight that I don't need (I'm already overweight; I'm not talking about girls that are underweight and need to gain a few pounds to be healthy).

[unknownuser]

That's a very good idea, thanks for sharing it with us.

And good luck to everyone!

[Amaryllis]

Thanks Julie. Good luck as well!

And I understand, Dee. I was just worried recovering fishies would think calorie watching was something good. Personally, I'm tired of counting calories. I have wasted my life and destroyed myself doing so. I over-estimated and what was a cup, I thought of as 2 and a half. I'm not going to live like that. I deserve more. But that's me, not you.

[Skyhawk]

This is a fantastic and great way to promote recovery! =D

Also, Having a calorie limit isn't pro-Ana, unless its like 500 a day. Limiting to 1800 is still healthy if you aren't a very active person.

[bambino]

i understand what FaithandTrust is saying, even though for you calorie counting is not obsessive or a worry to your health, for people on a recovering ED board its demotivational and triggering- because they're trying to achieve the opposite.

1 star for me I had some rice with my curry (:

[Amaryllis]

Well done you ^^ keep up the amazing work.

Basically what Amber said when I was putting on weight, I was still counting calories. I overestimated everything and I was obsessed with it. If I was meant to eat 1800 calories. That would be all I'd eat and it was more like 800 honestly or less. Following my calorie limit was my way of control. My weight creeped up -slowly- until I finally just hinged and started eating tons.

But like I said. Me not you.

Good luck everyone :)

[screamtobeheard]

Ate a brownie for my parents and resisted the urge to purge. + 1 star!

[FuzzyLittleNightmare]

Having fries for dinner tonight...only like 5 or 6 but still :) +1 star

[LifeisLife]

I ate a snack today. 1 star for me. (:

[Love.Hate]

I havent weighed myself in a week :) One star :D

[Amaryllis]

You're all doing amazingly well. I'm so proud of you. So is everyone else, your family, friends, the people on VT. Keep it up guys. You're all amazing and beautiful.

I'm still struggling with some anorexic habits but right now I'm sitting down instead of standing so +1 star for me :)

[LifeisLife]

i actually ate 2 meals today. proper ones. :/ star for me. :D

[Lethe]

I've only eaten 470 calories today and it's almost 12:00. I'd give myself a star for that.

[mcsmate]

I ate a full meal today and didn't write down the calories. I also ate more than I have in a while in the last two days, and it wasn't a binge and I didn't feel bad about it.
I'd give myself a star for that.
Also for the fact that I opened up about more of my eating issues to my two other brothers and they are helping. I am actually okay with eating when I am around them. And I am slowly learning to be okay with it when I am not. I, as they are, am proud of myself, for choosing something better.

[Amaryllis]

Well done for eating more and not counting calories and opening up to propel you trust. It takes a lot of strength and courage to do that.

I'm not going to even try to starve at school today. I can eat whatever the hell I want. Plus star :)

[bambino]

I had 2 pieces of cake and didnt check calories. 1 star (:
Welldone everyone keep it up, sounds like everyones doing really well- especially you Z

[Amaryllis]

Thanks, Amber. And well done! So proud of you!!! :)

The bingeing's getting better. Slowly but surely :)

[mcsmate]

I did fall back and wrote down the calories, as I subconsciously count them. That's a habit I haven't broken yet.

But I ate all of my breakfast this morning and went to lunch. I ate healthy but ate a good amount of everything too.

[Amaryllis]

Well done. Habits are hard to break but definitely possible. True. I still think about them sometimes but rarely and they definitely don't dictate my life

[Magenta]

I've only eaten 470 calories today and it's almost 12:00. I'd give myself a star for that.

Not to be a prick or anything but this can be a really triggering post for others. I find that when reading things that say 'under my calorie limit' or 'only eaten ___ calories', I feel guilty for eating above my limit or more than what I'd usually eat when here is someone rewarding herself for that behaviour. I'm sure I'm not the only one to feel this way. It's just really hard to read that someone else can reward herself for it when I'm desperately trying to ersse those habits. I know you are trying to do it in a healthier manner but it's a terrible reminder for those who really struggle with those ways of thinking.

Also, I ate a big breakfast three days in a row. +1 star. Now to add in lunch and dinner.

[Amaryllis]

Well done, Jo. I'm so proud of you. You're making progress. You're worth it, Jo. I know you may feel like you're less than worth but you -are-. You're an amazing person who deserves the best anyone, YOU can give.

Hold on. You'll fill up your Jar of Stars.

[Magenta]

Hopefully. I've really had no choice but to eat breakfast with my dad's whole family hovering about in the morning. It's back with my mum who is rarely around I slip up. Oh well, a start is a start.

[Amaryllis]

Eat for YOU. Not for anyone else. You are the one who suffers, you are the one who dies, you are the one you owe it to to recover. You don't deserve this, Jo. This isn't the life you want to live, so this won't be the life you'll live. It's never too late to fix what's wrong. It's never too late to be free. It's never too late to be happy.

[mcsmate]

I ate dessert (coffee and chocolate gelato) tonight. It tasted good.

[Amaryllis]

Yay! Well done! ^^ I love affogato hehe

[FuzzyLittleNightmare]

Ate my food in the "wrong order" :) Star for me!

[Amaryllis]

I get you on the eating in th wrong order part. I used to HATE my food touching so I actually used a baby divided plate... Also cause it was small and I wanted to eat less. Oh course, that was dumb. Imagine eating with such control for the rest of your whole damn life.

I'm slowly eating a little faster now and not freaking out over not perfectly placed spoonfuls and perfectly sliced cucumbers

[Lethe]

I had 1200 calories today. I don't know if that deserves a star or not. I wish I'd have eaten a lot less.

[SinisterMystery]

I actually ate two pieces of toast today. Aaand I had an apple for lunch :D

[Amaryllis]

Umm... If you usually eat less, then yay. If you're rewarding yourself for eating little, really, this isn't the life you want or deserve. Sooner or later, your life will crumble down, more than it already has. Eating disorders aren't coping mechanisms, they're sinkies. Do you really want to be controlled by food, calories, exercise and scales for the rest of your life?

Skinny isn't worth the consequences.

Love,
Faith and Trust

Good luck :) I'm just a comment/message/Skype away!

[Alex_16]

instead of stars you could do this with money.. whether its like a nickle each time... or a quarter or even a dollar or more... and just save it till its full to see your progress... and then you will have all the extra money.. which i think is a nice reward :) ... but i think i will try this but instead of gaining weight... i want to lose it... i have become like addicted to food i guess? and some of the things ive been going through ... like with my ex who i still love and everything... and being depressed and uhh idk... its just been like food is my only friend... and ive kinda been over eating...but ... i want to get back in shape... i weigh almost 240 lbs :'(.... but i want to do something about it ... and be healthier and fit... so thats why im going to set my ultimate goal at completing a triathlon... and hopefully winning it.. but yea... uhh feels good to get that off my chest :/

[Amaryllis]

Ana recoveries:
Please, continue giving yourself stars for taking a step towards recovery. Weight isn't the entire world. Neither is beauty. It's not about "looking good", it's about just... Being happy. A balance. Perfection doesn't exist so there's no point in chasing it.

[stories]

I ate ice cream today, just because I decided I wanted it.

[Amaryllis]

That's great! Well done! <333

[Dabigdtc]

i understand what FaithandTrust is saying, even though for you calorie counting is not obsessive or a worry to your health, for people on a recovering ED board its demotivational and triggering- because they're trying to achieve the opposite.

1 star for me I had some rice with my curry (:

well eating too much is also a ED so in some cases not going over a good limit is a think such as me i deal with my hard ships through eating a lot and im not very active so i easy go over wight so in my case not eating a lot is very good i used to stay in my house and do nothing but until i got help for being extremely over weight. so yes eating too much is also a form of ED

[Dabigdtc]

Umm... If you usually eat less, then yay. If you're rewarding yourself for eating little, really, this isn't the life you want or deserve. Sooner or later, your life will crumble down, more than it already has. Eating disorders aren't coping mechanisms, they're sinkies. Do you really want to be controlled by food, calories, exercise and scales for the rest of your life?

Skinny isn't worth the consequences.

Love,
Faith and Trust

Good luck :) I'm just a comment/message/Skype away!

im mean no offence but eating every moment of your life is no fun either both ana and uncotrolable eating have no good things and both can lead to death:whoops:

[Amaryllis]

I understand. I suffer from compulsive overeating as well. I hate that... But starving... I nearly died. I was alone. I had no friends. My hair fell... Gosh, it was terrible.

So I guess maybe I'm bias. But I went through both.

[Lethe]

Ate a bean burrito twice this week. Yay.

[BrokenButterflies]

I put some chocolate chips in with my cereal. Star for me!

I think this thread should be sticky.

[Amaryllis]

I put some chocolate chips in with my cereal. Star for me!

I think this thread should be sticky.

This is a bit late but that's really awesome, sweetheart :)

I just wanted to say, I really, really doubt I'll relapse now. I'm -never- going back there. I'm so much happier now. I never thought of myself as recovered but now I think I will. A Jar of Stars for me, because now I'm free.

[BrokenButterflies]

This is a bit late but that's really awesome, sweetheart :)

I just wanted to say, I really, really doubt I'll relapse now. I'm -never- going back there. I'm so much happier now. I never thought of myself as recovered but now I think I will. A Jar of Stars for me, because now I'm free.

That's great :yeah:

[Angel Androgynous]

This is a bit late but that's really awesome, sweetheart :)

I just wanted to say, I really, really doubt I'll relapse now. I'm -never- going back there. I'm so much happier now. I never thought of myself as recovered but now I think I will. A Jar of Stars for me, because now I'm free.

I teared up when I saw this. :') Congratulations, Z! I knew that you would make it. c:

[stories]

I went to my first counseling appointment on Thursday and have another one and a dietitian appointment scheduled in the next few weeks.

[Alexithymia]

I am so, so stealing this for me being social. I hope you don't mind. I would do it for my ED, but it's mostly faded. As is the cutting. The depression wouldn't fit. But being social? It would. And I want to have a beautiful night sky.

[Bath]

This should be a sticky :) Instead of feeling dissapointed in ourselves because we "messed up", we're rewarded for getting better.

I had a cup of coffee at breakfast, which wasn't in my meal plan for today. Star!

[Spook]

I ate breakfast today. Star!

And um, this is the first thread I have ever admitted it...