Comatose
August 19th, 2011, 11:41 PM
it is getting too dangerous at my house..... I'm currently at a friends house, well, i don't even think we are friends. he hates me. anyway, he's at work and will find out I am here when he gets home, he is going to be SO angry, but anyway, here is what is going on...
My brother has been far too violent lately. Just two weeks ago he slapped me so hard he almost broke my jaw then a few days later he strangled me and held my face really tight around his chest, resulting in my other jaw being hurt.
Yesterday he got into a fight, and today after he was mocking me and took my mother's phone and hid it JUST so I couldn't use it, I elbowed him in the balls just because I had enough of 11 years of abuse from him and was hoping that because he was injured, wouldn't be able to get me back....I was wrong. apparently his reflexes are 10x quicker than mine. Before I knew it he had me pinned to the wall and was punching me in the face while elbowing my ribs/stomach. I ran off into the back room where my mother, sister and friend were.... but he chased me and threatened to stab me with a knife he had in his hand. just as he was about to, he threw the knife at me and yelled that next time, he'd actually kill me. He then walked over to a round, small wooden table we had in the middle of the room and kicked it so hard it broke, the top bit of the table flew up and hit the light and smashed that everywhere.
I have no clue what the hell to do. I don't want to go to the police, because if I do, they will just section me as right now I am suicidal, have cut, and ODed.......
I need to stay somewhere until everything has calmed down. I have no friends, and the friends I COULD stay with, I am not able to as they are either too far away, or I have already asked and their parents won't let me....My best friends mum told me to go sleep in a park for all she cared. I have no family, not even kidding, they are all in England and I live in Australia. My sister lives about half an hour away but not only is she staying with my mum all this weekend, but she just moved in to a very small apartment and not only does not have room or the money to accommodate me, but barely any furniture right now either..
I'm actually considering my father right now....I have not spoken to him in about 5 years, and have no clue where he lives or his contact details etc. and even if I did manage to find him, I'd just be in yet another abusive home. They'll see my scars and cuts and go completely off the wall. Not just at me, but my mother.
I've also thought about refuge places etc, but honestly, I don't think I could do that right now. I need to be where I can be comfortable and know people so I can feel ok...
I don't even know if I am making sense, sorry if I don't.
I'm tossing up between just staying here and having Declan be super, super mad at me and hate me even more than he already does, or just going to some random place and get even sicker than I already am, and do more stupid things.
and to be honest, don't even know what the point of all this was.....just needed to get it off my chest I suppose. :c
My brother has been far too violent lately. Just two weeks ago he slapped me so hard he almost broke my jaw then a few days later he strangled me and held my face really tight around his chest, resulting in my other jaw being hurt.
Yesterday he got into a fight, and today after he was mocking me and took my mother's phone and hid it JUST so I couldn't use it, I elbowed him in the balls just because I had enough of 11 years of abuse from him and was hoping that because he was injured, wouldn't be able to get me back....I was wrong. apparently his reflexes are 10x quicker than mine. Before I knew it he had me pinned to the wall and was punching me in the face while elbowing my ribs/stomach. I ran off into the back room where my mother, sister and friend were.... but he chased me and threatened to stab me with a knife he had in his hand. just as he was about to, he threw the knife at me and yelled that next time, he'd actually kill me. He then walked over to a round, small wooden table we had in the middle of the room and kicked it so hard it broke, the top bit of the table flew up and hit the light and smashed that everywhere.
I have no clue what the hell to do. I don't want to go to the police, because if I do, they will just section me as right now I am suicidal, have cut, and ODed.......
I need to stay somewhere until everything has calmed down. I have no friends, and the friends I COULD stay with, I am not able to as they are either too far away, or I have already asked and their parents won't let me....My best friends mum told me to go sleep in a park for all she cared. I have no family, not even kidding, they are all in England and I live in Australia. My sister lives about half an hour away but not only is she staying with my mum all this weekend, but she just moved in to a very small apartment and not only does not have room or the money to accommodate me, but barely any furniture right now either..
I'm actually considering my father right now....I have not spoken to him in about 5 years, and have no clue where he lives or his contact details etc. and even if I did manage to find him, I'd just be in yet another abusive home. They'll see my scars and cuts and go completely off the wall. Not just at me, but my mother.
I've also thought about refuge places etc, but honestly, I don't think I could do that right now. I need to be where I can be comfortable and know people so I can feel ok...
I don't even know if I am making sense, sorry if I don't.
I'm tossing up between just staying here and having Declan be super, super mad at me and hate me even more than he already does, or just going to some random place and get even sicker than I already am, and do more stupid things.
and to be honest, don't even know what the point of all this was.....just needed to get it off my chest I suppose. :c