bestintheworld
August 16th, 2011, 01:17 PM
Well my closest friend Crystal passed away a few months ago and before she passed away, she had a psych ex after her and putting her through hell and I was there for her every step of the way for weeks and getting her out of the most messed up situqations. I wont get into any details but its the most messed up stuff anyone can ever go through and no one can know how much much stress and pain and so many other emotions through all that and no one ccan know what thats like. And the last night, I had saved her once again and helped her get away from him and she thanked me and said she was safe now but she was completely out of breath and crying hysterically on the phone. And I was so relieved to have saved her once again and then her friend Joey got there to make sure she was ok like I called and asked him to do and she yelled for him and then all went silent. Then Joey picks up the phone and says she ran to him to hug him and then she just fell forward and he caught her and he said she had passed out so he layed her on the couch. Then I ask him to watch over her and tend to her and make sure she's ok and 5 minutes later he gets back on the phone and tells me she's gone and has passed away. That was January 1st of this year and its now August and I just cant get over it or past it. Everday kills me. I spent all day everyday either with her or talking to her and she wass my closest friend. She made my days amazing and happy and I just havnt been the same since ='[. I feel like I should b past this by now or at least not still grieving so much like its fresh. I dont know, its just too hard for me and I still think about her each day that goes by and still miss her so much and life just isnt the same without her. It just keeps feeling so fresh with me and I feel like I failed her. After all the times I helped her and gave my all to save her and in the end I couldnt make things right for her. I failed her ='[. And Im living with this feeling of guilt and theres so much I want to say to her and I never even got to say goodbye which kills me the most. And everything just still haunts me and the pain remains and I just dont know what to do. I wish she was still here and I need her ='[. I just need help to figure things out cuz I'm so lost and in so much pain ='[. Please help me someone. please ='[