Disaster

[HeartCoreHannah]

I went two whole weeks with out purging. Then today I was eating a piece of bread and it got caught in my chest.. It hurt so bad, finally I made myself purge so it would come out. I was relived it was out and stopped hurting... But since I purged even though it wasn't for any reason other than I was in pain with the bread stuck in my throat, now I have the worst urges to puke my guts up. It's driving me insane. I thought I was done with this. I thought this was one less worry I had to stress about. Ugh, fuck my life.

[Amaryllis]

Honey, you've been doing so well. Keep it up. Fight it. You don't have to do what that voice says. Sure, it's there but to hell with it. Eat that piece of cake and tell it to mess with someone else. When you get the thoughts, say "Screw you, Mia. Go to hell. I don't need you. You made me miserable. Now i'm taking back what you stole from me." Remember, you want to be free. Remember the days when you were a kid and food was just food. When you didn't give a damn about how you looked or what the scale said.

Take back the life you lost.

Love,
Faith and Trust

[HeartCoreHannah]

Honey, you've been doing so well. Keep it up. Fight it. You don't have to do what that voice says. Sure, it's there but to hell with it. Eat that piece of cake and tell it to mess with someone else. When you get the thoughts, say "Screw you, Mia. Go to hell. I don't need you. You made me miserable. Now i'm taking back what you stole from me." Remember, you want to be free. Remember the days when you were a kid and food was just food. When you didn't give a damn about how you looked or what the scale said.

Take back the life you lost.

Love,
Faith and Trust

This gave me cold chills. Because you said everything I want to do and how I want to get my old life back. I wish I could be a kid again so maybe I could start all over. A completely new life. No cutting, no purging, and no depression.

[Amaryllis]

You can't rewind. You can't press pause. You can't fast forward. You can't just stop. You can only press play.

Put all of it behind you. Bit by bit. Let it go. Be happy. Move on. You don't want to be here forever and you won't. This isn't the life you want so this won't be the life you'll live.