Stop it!

[Lethe]

Stop telling me I need to eat. Fuck you. You weigh 15lbs less than me, leave me alone. The last thing I want to do is eat. I want to starve myself until I barely exist. Maybe my ugliness and my largeness will stand out less and I can have a better life as a thin girl. But no! You always have to be shitty about everything. "You need to eat", "You should eat more than that", "Let's have ", "Why do you always eat so little?", "Why are you starving yourself?"

Just shut the fuck up. Honestly. Get it into your fat, thick skull that I'm not eating your crappy food. I don't want to be fat, okay? I know I am, but that doesn't mean I want to eat McDonald's three times a week or gorge myself on chocolate and chips. Sorry I can't be thin [I]and eat. Sorry I can't be the perfect beautiful daughter everyone wants. Fuck you. Get the hell away from me and quit telling me to eat. I'd rather die.

[bambino]

I know you need to vent Lethe. But this is a bit triggering maybe for people trying to recover. Although I guess these boards are about self expression and to be honest, it's not that that bothers me.
It's that you still haven't listened to anyone on these boards despite obvious flaws in your logic and perception of yourself.

The only beautiful worth having is a beautiful heart. Without that no amount of boys, or compliments is ever going to fill that void. I can promise you that.
Food is a part of life, and one of the best bits! There is no escaping it, down that route just lies pain and more misery.

You are a very pretty girl.
Be kind to your family.
There's so much more to life than you are able to see right now.

[Lethe]

It's not meant to be triggering to others.

Having a beautiful heart has done nothing for me. Food is not enjoyable; it's the devil. It makes me want to kill myself, every time I feel hungry and I give in and eat. I feel trapped, I hate being mortal and human. Being human I need to eat, being alive I need to eat. I just don't feel like I have a choice even though I want so badly just to stop eating.

No one seems to understand that; seeing so many negative, rude comments and nasty reputation points given to me, it feels as if no one seems to even want to understand. Yes, I'm stubborn, but I don't call people names or tell them they're stupid.

[unknownuser]

Lethe, why can't you see that we're all only trying to help you?

Most of us posting have experienced starving ourselves and not eating enough. We can tell you that honestly, it is not fun and only makes things worse. Losing weight isn't a quick-fix for anything.

[Amaryllis]

Dee... I don't mean to be cruel but you're really triggering to a lot of people trying to recover. And no, I'm not saying that means you should stop posting but please, please, listen to us. You ask for help but you're not listening. You don't really want to listen to a thing we say. We're talking to a brick wall. Let us help you. We can only help if you want to be helped.

I dropped to 50 pounds. They put me on a drip, Dee. I was being force-fed. I was so, so miserable. Everybody gave up on me. My life was over. I was a beautiful girl. Talented and smart. Sure, I self-harmed and I suffered from manic depression but nothing beat Ana. You will end up heavier than you ever were. Trust me.

You think you're fat and ugly but honey, even if you do lose weight, you will still think you're fat and ugly. Your mother loves you. She doesn't want you to die. Because that's the truth of Ana. You have no choice. Choosing Ana is choosing death. Choosing Ana is choosing to be miserable. I'm in hell. This was not what I agreed to when I signed the contract with Ana. I didn't ask for the hair on my head to fall off. I didn't ask to be heavier than I ever was. I didn't ask for permanent eye damage that will stay with me forever. I will always feel this pain in my eyes that will forever remind me of this. I didn't ask for bingeing. I didn't ask for everything to turn into nothing compared to food. I didn't ask for this.

Please, please. Don't do this to yourself. This is worse than death. This is worse than being what I was. I want my life back. I want my body back. I just want to be free.

[tommay]

When you starve yourself, your body automatically starts storing fat.. I don't want to seem like a prick to you, but eating on a healthy deit (eating the right foods, not the junk everyone offeres you) would really help you be skinny, and healthy at the same time.

It brings tears to my eyes when I read things like this.. please please don't do that to yourself.