Confused

[Flitz]

I'm gay.

That's what I have been telling myself since September of 2006. The first person I told was my mom and dad. I was scared since my family is a religious catholic family, I read on other sites how mom's and dad's disown their children once they come out of the closet. But, they were really accepting about it. I guess acceptance was life's present to me, since I came out to my parents on Christmas of 2010.

My mother told me, to not tell my younger brothers, because things "could change." So I didn't. Now, I didn't go around telling all my friends, I'm gay. I decided to only say it, if I'm asked about it.

When my friends usually ask me why I haven't gone out with this girl or that girl, I sorta keep it secret and say, "that's not the right person for me". I never ever say "he, or she" to keep it broad.

Recently, I let a 17 year old friend know by accident. He is cute, but I don't like him, like him. I just see him as a cute friend I have. Ever since I told him, we have gotten close. I did know he was gay, but I didn't know it would escalate into...higher things.

He wants to do it with me. He told me seriously that we should do it, to experiment positions, to see if I'm a bottom or a top. He is pressuring me to do it, but I sorta want to do it too...

But that's not my problem, it feels that when I'm sure I am gay, something happens that changes my mind. It's like, I'm sure one minute, and then the next, I'm questioning it, and it irritates me. It's so hard for me, and I don't understand how there are 14 year olds, that are sure are gay. What's wrong with me? I don't understand. I don't want my parents to thing I lied to them for attention or something...this sucks.

[Foamy]

Just open up. Don't really worry about it. If ur friends make fun of u or stuff just don't talk to them. Ur parents know- that's a start. O yeah, welcome to VT

[Nicky97]

That's wonderful that your parents are your confidants. You're lucky. Let them know the uncertainty you are feeling, they have a right to know. Not the impending sexual encounter, but what's in your mind. Bottom or top? -- That's sounds like a pretty major thing to me, maybe you could "experiment" with him in a more fun-like manner. Less intrusive. See what you think and where you want it to go. Same as with girls, don't give it all away up front. Play. Enjoy. If he is pressuring you, he is not the one for you. Don't be distracted by any curiosity you have. First time sounds like a life-long decision. ---From a virgin who has had plenty of sexplay but never crossed that line.

[Flitz]

I've done so many things with my friends that I don't think it would matter to them. It's just me having to face them and their questions.

I do want to experiment, I feel like this is the only way to get rid of any doubts I have. I wish it was easier and straight forward.

[prob1996]

Glad to hear your parents are that accepting. It is refreshing to hear for a change and kinda gives hope that maybe mine would be to when I decide to come out.
If your parents are understanding about you being gay, I'm sure they will understand if you are questioning it. Nothing is wrong with you and unfornuately it is simply not that black and white for some people. I thought I was BI last yr and had issues accepting that I maybe gay. Rt now, I pretty sure I"m gay and I'm just going with that for now.
As far as the experimenting goes, only do what your comfortable with. It's natural to want to try it but do it with someone your confortable with. Not because someone is pressuring you.

[Flitz]

Glad to hear your parents are that accepting. It is refreshing to hear for a change and kinda gives hope that maybe mine would be to when I decide to come out.
If your parents are understanding about you being gay, I'm sure they will understand if you are questioning it. Nothing is wrong with you and unfornuately it is simply not that black and white for some people. I thought I was BI last yr and had issues accepting that I maybe gay. Rt now, I pretty sure I"m gay and I'm just going with that for now.
As far as the experimenting goes, only do what your comfortable with. It's natural to want to try it but do it with someone your confortable with. Not because someone is pressuring you.

You had the words I needed to see, thank you. I think I'm gonna start experimenting then.

[Mewp]

My advice would be to start experimenting. You'll soon figure out if you enjoy it or not ~.^