Its back.

[Kaius]

Right.. I don't really know how to explain this well.. So i'm going to try as best I can. Basically.. I had a tough time in secondary school, I was bullied for a lot of things and It really badly affected my mind set towards a lot of things and made me really quite self-conscious. I guess thats a normal teen thing but see this went beyond that. I turned mirrors around in my house, i turned family photos of me around, i wouldn't look at windows or anything that i could see my reflection in and it made my self harming considerably worse. I had counselling for it but it didn't really help, but it slowly began to fade away once I guess i got more help with it from people close to me. Lately i've noticed its been getting worse again, I don't want to go back into counselling for it but its not going away this time. Im not sure what to do because i know its only a short amount of time before the self harming returns and I really dont want to fall back into old habits.

[Magenta]

Aaron, you can beat this again. It faded once, it will fade again. Can you talk to the same people who helped before?

As for your reflection, everything is in the eye of the beholder. Anything you see is not what others see. In the end, you can't hide from yourself. You can only be yourself because being anyone else is futile.

Giving counseling another shot may help. You never know. If it gets worse, would you try again? I see your posts in the Non Self Harm Calendar and you're doing so well. Don't let this bring you down. You're stronger than this. You have the strength to get through it.

:hug:

[Kaius]

Thats the problem, everything I see when I look at myself is something I should be ashamed of and nothing more. I dont know how to go about receiving any more counselling.. The only reason I got into counselling for that particular thing was because It got so bad i carved myself up. I don't want to go that far again..

[Magenta]

So look into counseling before you get to that point again? The hardest part is asking for it but once you get that out of the way, it gets easier.

People often see the negative about themselves much faster than the positive. I think everyone is like this because there's a lot of pressure to be engrossed in your flaws rather than your good points because then people see you as arrogant or cocky nowadays which isn't true a lot. If you thought of one thing good about yourself every time you saw something to be ashamed of, it's a good reminder that whatever you're ashamed of isn't everything.