Ridiculous mood swings?

[bambino]

Not sure if this is best suited to these boards but it's where I post most.
I can go a couple of weeks feeling positive then - God do i crash. Feel suicidal, want to self-harm. For like a week. It's unbearable.
Or I can even just have a single day like that, and the next I'm feeling tentatively okay.
But at the same time, it hovers in the back of mind. I know that feeling of helplessness is still there, its just quieter until something triggers it again, then again-sometimes there's no fricking trigger at all. And it scares me how quickly I drop into that self destructive mood where hurting myself seems completely justified. It's like I'm scared of myself.
People around me don't understand why I'm so volatile. It's upsetting.

I wish that I could be consistent without medication. I wish I could be happy on my own. Does anyone else have this?
Stay strong, my love to you all

[ShadowGirl]

I do the same thing! I'll have a period of time where I feel like everything is going great and I love myself. Then the next thing I know I can't stand to look at myself and I can't stop myself from cutting. Sometimes I'm happy for a day, and sometimes it's for a few weeks. When I crash, I can't stand to be around anyone and every little thing pisses me off and triggers self harm. People hate being around me because of my mood swings. I almost want to be on medication so I can go back to feeling normal, but my parents won't take me to a doctor for it. They don't know I self harm.

[bambino]

I'm the same it sucks. People think you're just a mess..

medication does really help. my parents are the opposite theyre always trying to get me to take it. I'm not atm because...I'm trying to do it alone. It's not going very well.

maybe you should tell them about the self harm so they can see how serious it is and they might take you to the doctors? Also you can make a doctors appointment yourself and go, it'd be confidential.

[KristoferWelch]

I do the same thing, except it's more frequent. I'll have 3 good days then one Really bad one. I used to take medication for it, but i've stopped. My parents still think I take it. One thing, anything, like, really bad happen to you recently or awile back? When over half my family died in the same year is when it started for me, so if something has happened, that may be why. I hope this helps!
-Kris :neutral:

[bambino]

Hi Kris, I'm so sorry about your family

And no, there is nothing. If anything triggers it it'll be tiny, like someone saying one stupid remark or my brother pushing me around or anything like that. Small, insignificant to others. Major for me.
I mean recently I..hm, it sounds so stupid. I've only ever had feelings for one person, a while ago they told me they didnt love me and stopped talking to me. My friend almost died of anorexia last year. I 've left home a few times because I have a shit relationship with my Dad [hes bipolar]. So really. It could be all of that but I don't feel like it is that ...its just the unshakable feeling of being alone.
I'm so tired of it.

[ShadowGirl]

I'm the same it sucks. People think you're just a mess..

medication does really help. my parents are the opposite theyre always trying to get me to take it. I'm not atm because...I'm trying to do it alone. It's not going very well.

maybe you should tell them about the self harm so they can see how serious it is and they might take you to the doctors? Also you can make a doctors appointment yourself and go, it'd be confidential.


Would the appointment still be confidential if I'm under 18?

[bobby1273]

yeah i also get massive mood swings where i spend like a week or so feeling just so down, not wanting to socialize in the slightest, not being able to do much and almost giving up on life. Though with me no one knows i self harm so i can't tell anyone how I'm feeling. And yeah its really annoying because there's no triggers for it (well none that iv noticed), it just happens...

[bambino]

Would the appointment still be confidential if I'm under 18?

Yes, I first went to the doctor for first time when I was 15/16 about depression and was referred to a counsellor and eventually given antidepressants. They never informed my family.
It's not as scary as it seems, they just want to help.
Do you think you'll consider it?

[xktx]

i do the same thing :/ i think its just hormones :/ When your depressed i know its really difficult, but just try do something so your not thinking too much. :/ Sorry I cant be more useful, thats all i do. x

[bambino]

yeah i also get massive mood swings where i spend like a week or so feeling just so down, not wanting to socialize in the slightest, not being able to do much and almost giving up on life. Though with me no one knows i self harm so i can't tell anyone how I'm feeling. And yeah its really annoying because there's no triggers for it (well none that iv noticed), it just happens...

Yeah, it's so confusing not knowing what brings it on. Or not knowing if youre gonna wake up in a good mood or a terrible one...knowing terrible means really terrible.
Medication helps...wow I'm so pro-medication haha. I guess I just found its very useful when you're at your lowest, to tide you over until youre feeling better in yourself. So I'm always reccomending it. I didn't find therapy very helpful. Have you tried either?

[bambino]

i do the same thing :/ i think its just hormones :/ When your depressed i know its really difficult, but just try do something so your not thinking too much. :/ Sorry I cant be more useful, thats all i do. x

I would agree but I'm 18 now and I don't have regular periods so, lol - it's difficult to blame hormones! haha.
and thats okay, thanks for commenting
stay strong hun, hope youre getting some kind of support x

[bobby1273]

Yeah, it's so confusing not knowing what brings it on. Or not knowing if youre gonna wake up in a good mood or a terrible one...knowing terrible means really terrible.
Medication helps...wow I'm so pro-medication haha. I guess I just found its very useful when you're at your lowest, to tide you over until youre feeling better in yourself. So I'm always reccomending it. I didn't find therapy very helpful. Have you tried either?

lol yeah your just a little pro-med :)
Erm, no iv never tried medication or therapy. I don't really like taking meds for anything, i just got something against them ... well except hay fever tablets but my hay fever can get so annoying sometimes. Iv thought about therapy but never gone any more than that because no one knows about me feeling how i do and that i self harm. And my family always seem to know what each other is up to, so iv got it in my head that they would find out about my SH etc if i keep disappearing on a regular basis for no reason. Though if i do somehow manage to get the grades and go off to uni it will be a bit easier for me to see someone or what ever.

[ShadowGirl]

Yes, I first went to the doctor for first time when I was 15/16 about depression and was referred to a counsellor and eventually given antidepressants. They never informed my family.
It's not as scary as it seems, they just want to help.
Do you think you'll consider it?

Yes, I just have to find a way to get to a doctor's office. I can't drive until next summer and I live way out in the country. I'm just afraid to tell my family because I don't want to hurt them. I'm afraid of how they'll react.

[bambino]

lol yeah your just a little pro-med :)
Erm, no iv never tried medication or therapy. I don't really like taking meds for anything, i just got something against them ... well except hay fever tablets but my hay fever can get so annoying sometimes. Iv thought about therapy but never gone any more than that because no one knows about me feeling how i do and that i self harm. And my family always seem to know what each other is up to, so iv got it in my head that they would find out about my SH etc if i keep disappearing on a regular basis for no reason. Though if i do somehow manage to get the grades and go off to uni it will be a bit easier for me to see someone or what ever.

I understand, I was exactly the same as you. Thinking there was no way I was going to take meds, was i bad enough for that, what if it changed me etc. But I guess you get to a point, and youve exhausted all other options and you just do it.
Of course its preferrable to have CBT and therapy before you even consider that. It might be an idea to talk to your doctor , they wont be able to inform your family about SH its all confidential.

[bambino]

Yes, I just have to find a way to get to a doctor's office. I can't drive until next summer and I live way out in the country. I'm just afraid to tell my family because I don't want to hurt them. I'm afraid of how they'll react.

I understand you being worried about your family, but i think theyd be more upset if they knew you were keeping it to yourself and having to carry the burden alone? i mean,if it was my sister or mother or whatever who was struggling i'd much prefer they told me. It would hurt me more knowing they felt they had to suffer in silence.
family are there for support. If theres no way you're able to get to the doctors without them, it might be worth a chat. If you got referred for counselling you need your parents to drive you back and fourth from therapy either way. Give it a think anyway.

[ShadowGirl]

I understand you being worried about your family, but i think theyd be more upset if they knew you were keeping it to yourself and having to carry the burden alone? i mean,if it was my sister or mother or whatever who was struggling i'd much prefer they told me. It would hurt me more knowing they felt they had to suffer in silence.
family are there for support. If theres no way you're able to get to the doctors without them, it might be worth a chat. If you got referred for counselling you need your parents to drive you back and fourth from therapy either way. Give it a think anyway.

I'll definitely think about it. Thanks!

[bobby1273]

I understand, I was exactly the same as you. Thinking there was no way I was going to take meds, was i bad enough for that, what if it changed me etc. But I guess you get to a point, and youve exhausted all other options and you just do it.
Of course its preferrable to have CBT and therapy before you even consider that. It might be an idea to talk to your doctor , they wont be able to inform your family about SH its all confidential.

Its good to know that other people have been through the same thing, you've pretty well described why i don't like the idea of meds. For future reference (because i don't feel i can at this point in time) how do i go about getting therapy etc, do you get it through the nhs? and do you just go down and speak to your doctor?

[bambino]

Its good to know that other people have been through the same thing, you've pretty well described why i don't like the idea of meds. For future reference (because i don't feel i can at this point in time) how do i go about getting therapy etc, do you get it through the nhs? and do you just go down and speak to your doctor?

Basically go your doctor, explain exactly how you feel. No missing bits out or trying to pretend things aren't so bad. You need them to understand its serious. Be honest, they'l ask you if you self harm and if you've ever had suicidal thoughts. They might get you to take a depression check list.

If you're under 16 they'll refer you to a child and adolescent mental health service [this is all on the NHS] and you'll get given a counsellor for regular sessions.

If you're over 16 they'll refer you to the adult mental health services [again on the NHS] the waiting lists can take 6 months. So its best to tell your doctor as soon as you can and get on the reserve lists. Since i turned 18 ive been waiting for my counselling for 7 months and my doctors sent 4 letters asking them to get me in quicker.

Everything is confidential, but its worth bearing in mind you might need your parents to drive you to and from counselling sessions. Honesty is the best policy.

[Amaryllis]

It's normal, hun. That happened with me too. In fact, it's still happening. But that's cause of my borderline personality that I somehow picked up...

But it's normal in recovering anorexics. It has to do with your hormones(they're whacked) and the hell you've gone through. You just feel like crap, you're angry, you feel hopeless, you want it to end, you can't keep going anymore, you're falling apart, you don't know what to do, you want to scream, you want to cry, you wanna relapse but you're too scared to, you want to starve but you want to survive, you want to set this behind you. It's what we all gotta go through in recovery. It'll get better, as your weight goes up and you're more... Free.

You'll be happier. Trust me. Keep going. You're doing amazing, Amber! <3

Love,
Faith And Trust

[bobby1273]

Basically go your doctor, explain exactly how you feel. No missing bits out or trying to pretend things aren't so bad. You need them to understand its serious. Be honest, they'l ask you if you self harm and if you've ever had suicidal thoughts. They might get you to take a depression check list.

If you're under 16 they'll refer you to a child and adolescent mental health service [this is all on the NHS] and you'll get given a counsellor for regular sessions.

If you're over 16 they'll refer you to the adult mental health services [again on the NHS] the waiting lists can take 6 months. So its best to tell your doctor as soon as you can and get on the reserve lists. Since i turned 18 ive been waiting for my counselling for 7 months and my doctors sent 4 letters asking them to get me in quicker.

Everything is confidential, but its worth bearing in mind you might need your parents to drive you to and from counselling sessions. Honesty is the best policy.

Wow 7 months is a long time to wait. Thanks for all the info etc, its really helpful :). I suppose i should really follow the advise, its just i feel that i can't right now (if you know what i mean) but again thanks :).

[xktx]

I would agree but I'm 18 now and I don't have regular periods so, lol - it's difficult to blame hormones! haha.
and thats okay, thanks for commenting
stay strong hun, hope youre getting some kind of support x

I have the greatest friends. and one of them is going with me when i go see a counsellor <3

[Alexis goes Rawr]

something just like that haappens to me all the time but way more frequently and my mother usually being the trigger or atleast the things she says or does. I'll have a few days where i feel great nothings wrong I dont even think once about cutting, then for a day or two i just drop, like the world gone gray or somthing i dnt even smile my friends get worried about me so ive pretty much perfect the fake smile, i just stop caring about everything espically myself....
Then all of the sudden im okay again not great but i dnt have to fake my smiles anymore