It's not for me anymore....

[CyanideGoodnight]

I mean, I feel like I'm not cutting for everyone exept for me. I feel like it's just a matter of doing this just so I won't disapoint anyone... and I hate it. I miss my private ritual, where I could just go and break and cut all the fuck I wanted without anyone worrying or caring, and me not having to worry about who else I was hurting besides myself. Now though, too many people would be hurt by me hurting myself, and it fucking sucks. It's been 22 days without cutting, and at this point I just want to cut until either I feel better again and all this anxiety is gone, or until I need a blood transfusion or twenty. Whichever comes first. I can't though, because as I said, cutting even once would just disapoint like everyone... this is why I shouldn't have said anything to anyone, if they just didn't know, they wouldn't care... and I wouldn't be in this situation.

I know it's for the best, and that they all just want the best for me, but at this point it's like I'm just being forced through something that I just really could care less about. I began this wanting it for me, but now I forgot, and so I'm relying on me knowing I'd be hurting them to not hurt myself... but I don't know how long it's going to last...


In short: lkaghiopqtrjekoq;fnceoqkcjoqeip hg fucking shit :/

[HeartCoreHannah]

Just keep being strong. 22 days is a huge deal. You don't want to throw all that away. Like you said, you wouldn't only be hurting and disappointed.. Everyone who knows you cut and cares for you would also be hurting and disappointed. I'm here if you ever need to talk.

Keep going strong. <3

[Love.Hate]

Seriously, keep going. I have just thrown away 22 days. And its a big deal, and i regret it lots. You have come so far, you dont need this. Keep strong, its really really not worth it <3 :hug: